This is difficult no matter what you do. Your mother is likely feeling powerless over her loss of identity and independence. That doesn't help you, I know, but frustration and anxiety often play into why elders won't accept outside help.   But you need to get it so you will soldier on. Is there adult day care in your area? That is sometimes good, as the senior can often be picked up to go "volunteer" or whatever, and they then have a social outlet and care at the same time. Many need to have their family there at first, but can be weaned.   In-home care works well for many, but some resent the "intrusion." Biting the bullet and transfering her to an Alzheimer's unit in an assited living facility is an option. All of these will make her angry. All will be hard. All will be expensive. But your sanity is valuable and you need to lead your own life as well as being a caregiver. I do hope you find some solution (of a sort - there's no perfect answer for long, anyway). Please keep in touch. Carol