My husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's since April of 2004. He still insists on driving and I only let him do it 1 time per week, for only a short distance. He also insists on going to casinos to play craps (which he has mostly forgotten). He is over 6 feet tall and weighs 250 lbs. I have no control when he explodes. He has always had an anger problem and can get physical. How do I get a doctor to write a letter stating he can't drive? Also, he is a retired physician. And again, where are all of the support groups? He is on Seroquel 50 mg. 2x's day.
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Q: Severe anger,combative,driving Alzheimers patient 75 yrs. old.
Answers (5)
10/26/09 4:13pm
Hi, Cindy,
I agree with the previous answers. In my mom's case, I asked the doctor she most respected (who happened to be her pulmonolgist) to write the letter. He had already told her that she shouldn't drive, but she would keep forgetting. I wanted to have that piece of paper in my hand to show her, as needed. That seemed to work for the most part.
My mom also experienced anger. Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins, authors of "The 36-Hour Day," suggest the following:
- Respond calmly and without anger.
- Remove your husband from the situation or remove the stimulus that is upsetting him.
- Look for the event that might have been the cause of his reaction so you can prevent a similar situation in the future.
- If your husband begins to hit you frequently, talk to his doctor about working with you to find out what is triggering these outbursts and if necessary, prescribing medications.
As far as a support group, you might check with your city's Council on Aging, your church, or with a local nursing home or assisted living center administrator. These folks can probably point you in the right direction.
Take care and keep us posted!
Dorian
10/24/09 1:25pm
Wow. He has been diagnosed for a long time and is still running around like regular! It sounds like my father-in-law who is tall and weights 146 lb. My FIL is also MD PhD although he cannot practice in the USA (MD from Europe.)
These elders who are highly educated do progess slower than other patients and are more proud to admit something is wrong. Does he admit he has something wrong with his brain? At times, my FIL would say his brain is screwed up. He has 24 hours home care and needs help to take a shower and needs to be told to wash his hands. He can still go shopping with the caregiver and he no longer drives or goes to the bank.
Driving is tricky. You can ask the family doctor to refer him to a test center where the neurologist or psychiatrist can do some test on his memory in the office asking him questions for 3 hours. Then the doctor can tell you if he has Alzheimer's or not. And they will say he cannot drive. That is what happened to my FIL and how he was diagnosed.
Since your husband is diagnosed with AD, the DMV is Not supposed to give him his license unless you didn't tell the DMV that when he renewed his license. Just go throug the DMV procedure and he won't have the license.
The next hard thing is to prevent him from driving. Take away the key or sell his car/donate his car... My FIL at times still says he need to drive but we told him the caregiver will drive him.
Your husband needs to take AD drugs. Since he was diagnosed, he needs to take aricept, or namenda and exelon unless he gets side effects. My FIL took them for 1 year and half until he had too much confusion in Sept. 2008. He is 88.
I think you need to take care of the driving thing first and then ask the doctor for AD drugs and those drugs can help him to calm down and be perceptive. However, the AD drugs are not for anxiety, so he may need the drugs for anxiety to control his mood.
If he could attack you, you may need to protect yourself also.
These things are easy to be said than done.
Good luck,
Nina
10/24/09 1:32pm
The elders who have AD with a high education level tend to progress slowly as they can still try to think and use their brain. It is good for themselves, but it is harder for caregivers. I was told my FIL was out of box as he progresses very slow. He got worse every year slowly. They do get sicker in times but it takes a long time.
It is amazing that your husband still tries to live normally. Maybe it is in earlier stage. My FIL is already in stage 6 (moderate/severe) after his diagnosis in late 2006.
You need to understand his staging so you can understand how you need to take care of him. If he gets physical on you, you need to find other helpers or caregivers.
Take care,
Nina
10/24/09 1:43pm
Any doctor will be willing to write a letter saying he has Alzheimer's (AD) and that he cannot drive. The hard part is he may not admit it and fill it out in the papers. If you give the DMV such letter, I am sure they can immediately cancel his dirver's license or stop renewing it. You may need to do it behind his back. You can also ask the family doctor for suggestions. We have used lots of white lies and tricks to prevent my FIL from having accidents. We hired 24 hours caregivers so he cannot make mistakes. Since they wouldn't admit that they cannot drive, some tricks need to be used to prevent him from driving and endangering himself and others.
Nina
10/24/09 2:05pm
You can call Alzheimer's Association (www.alz.org) to ask about the local support group or local chapter. There are more AD support groups now. Online or local. This group we are in (OurAlzheimer's) is very good and it is my first group. I just found another one in the website Dailystength that has online support for Alzheimer's with casual direct conversations/e-messages. I still like this group better as there are very good advices from experts and memebers.
Take care,
Nina
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By Cindy Houston— Last Modified: 10/26/11, First Published: 10/24/09
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