she is no longer out of bed and it was agreed in the begining that there would be no feeding tubes she can no longer swallow. but she does still take an accaional fluid with much effort. they have giving her a patch to help with the hunger pain.how much longer will the family suffer.till that final time days,weeks, months? I would like to be there at the end are there any signs the death is nere that we can look for,
how long can she stay this way.
Hi Cari,
Is she under hospice care? If not, I highly recommend that. They will keep her out of pain and counsel you and the family. These final stages can last awhile or she could go quickly. But please get her on hospice care as soon as you can. Then, you'll get your answers, your support, and reassurance that she need not be in pain.
Take care,
Carol
Hi, Carl,
I agree with Carol's suggestion. The other question I have for you: where your mother-in-law is living? If she's in a nursing home, you might call the staff regularly to check on her. Also, who is the point of contact in the family? Identify that person and ask him/her to keep you up to date with your mother-in-law's status.
Also, please know that it's really difficult to tell exactly when someone is going to die. So I'd suggest that you make a regular point of visiting while your mother-in-law is still alive so that if she does die with no warning (like in the middle of the night, when my mom died), you'll have no regrets.
Take care and keep us posted!
Dorian
Hi my name is Vickie I'm from Indiana. I know what you are going through. My mother inlaw is in her last stages too. She has been since December 2008. Like the ohter experts said know one knows how long it can last. Everyone body are different.
I know my mother inlaw has had pneumonia ,uti. And has lost alot of weight. My husband has agree not to do the feeding tube either.
My mother inlaw has went up and down so much. On March 29 of 2009 we had her in the hosiptal for and upper gi. That was so sad to see her have to go through that.
They had to give her 2 units of blood. I was worry about her taken blood she did okay though they gave it to her slow.
She back in the nursing home as of now. They keep close eye out for her. She been there for 7 years so they think the world of her as we do. I'm always calling them and I go up at super time to feed her. They have her on liquid diet. Some days she eats and sometimes she dont.
My mother inlaw is 91. Now they are do blood work on her. Her blood count is down some.
It is hard on the family to see someone you love so much slowly die. I'm always talk to my mother inlaw even if she dont talk. I know her body is tired. There so many times we thought it was close to the time. But then she pulls out of it some.
I do know that each time they get some better when they go back down it harder for them to get back to where they were. My mother inlaw doesnt walk or feed her self anymore. We still take her to dinning room to eat we know the day is coming soon where she wont be able to. But as long we can keep her in a wheel chair. We will do it.
We was getting ready to call in hospic too. Right now we are taken one day at a time. And one minute at a time. That all any one can do. The best thing to do is love each time you have with her. Because none of us know when it is are time.
I hope I help. it hard I know. We have had so many emergcy here lately that we dont know one day from next.
Sorry about the spelling words wrong. Take care of your self. Write any time.
Daughter Inlaw (from Ind)
These are items that you and your family must discuss with the doctor. Making these decisions must include as much info from her doctor and other specialists. you will hear all kinds of so called "helpful" advice from every angle. Just remember, the doctor or doctors who have her history will usually know how to answer these questions and offer advice.
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