Hi Luckepene,   I hope you guys will find some solution fast. I think you can still try to get the attorny to work on the POA or guardianship as the doctor's letter may be good enough without diagnosis (it seems obvious that she is irritated and etc.)   My husband does not like to talk about his Dad either. He calls him everyday (twice at meal time.) He really does not like to talk about it. When the conversation does not make sense, he just said it is the usual (the same repetition or nonsense), nothing detailed. I actally keep a journal in Word to write down the significant developement of his Dad in case we need such record to work with. My FIL is agitated if we do not follow what he wants. But it is not all the time. If the caregivers are on his term, it is ok. He is easy patient to them at this point. But it is still hard to deal with him. I cannot imagine the way you MIL is and etc. My FIL started talking about wanting to die last year as he thought we could put him out like the animal shelter. He was funny - he started out with not wanting to die thinking the hospital wanted to put him down (just monitoring for his heart failure in Jan, 2009), and then he began saying he want to die thinking we can kill him. I had to say it is not legal and etc. I am not going to be criminal because of his wish! Now he does not talk like that too much but he is lonely and depressed. We can only cope with it hoping he does not make too much trouble.   Maybe you and your husband do need to talk about something else about yourself or your kids and other stuff. Don't dwell on his mother as this issue is depressing unless you are seeing her doctor and all that. My husband does not like to deal with it either unless it is something that has to be dealt with at the time. My experience is that my husband will come around when he sees how things develop into the worse situation. He just does not want to talk about it all the time. If we plan something for his Dad specifically, then he would talk about it. That is, he does not like to talk about it when he is relaxing.   Anyway, getting the POA or guardian is important (actually guardian replaces POA and is more powerful.)   Take care, Nina