You know it is also our worry. How can we fly my FIL for 2 hours and how he will take this new home! Hopefully he is not that agitated as long as my husband is next to him. My husband has better relationship with his Dad - not perfect though.   I am a cancer survivor so I know how you feel. Are you done with your treatments and are you in remission? I am cured for the rare cancer (uterus  cancer.) Fortunately I got cancer and chemo long before my FIL became a widower in 2004. I finished all treatments in 2001. I had it started in 2000. Sometimes I am not willing to do so much as I worry about my own health. I am not that healthy due to lack of hormone and etc. You need to make sure you stay healthy. You want to support your husband and it is good. But don't risk your own health.   I heard that some people used the ambulance kind of thing to send the elder to the nursing home but it may agitate her. In the beginning you guys may need to be in the home everyday to check things out. My husband plans to stay near for at least 2 weeks as the new home is in Vermont and it is not in our town. Maybe your MIL really need to take some sedative in the long-term since she is very mean.   We have a worse situation - we are not in the same country. So my husband cannot be the guardian. He is POA and trustee. For now it works out.   I understand you have a hard time right now.... Please take care of yourself.   Nina