Well I think it is all in the past. The daughter should really move on. We all sometimes call a funeral a celebration of one's life. So it is ok if it was enlighted. If the grandmom liked it in her life, why not sing it again in her wake? Perhaps it was not done with care but you cannot go back to the old times. Why not move on? Even if it was careless to sing this song, it was meant well; not bad. I cannot believe anyone would sing it to insult the dead or dying. Besides, one could always feel that something should have been done in a ceremony in the past. Some people didn't even have funerals for liking to be left alone! The important thing is to unite as a family as the grandmom would have wished.

Take care,

Nina

You meant when she was alive. I think it is even something one needs to forget about. Like I said, no one can predict the future. Maybe they thought she would have lived longer. If the grandmom liked the song, why not? If I am dying, I probably would like to hear a happy song for the last time. Or maybe not. It is an emotional time, anything goes. Everyone behaves differently. It happened. So move on and be united as a family without any hard feeling would be the thing I would do.

Regards,
Nina

Hi, Georgene,

The end of life for a loved one is a very stressful and difficult time (as you know). Additionally, some people have very different ideas of how this time should be handled. Because they may not have experienced sitting with a dying person before, some people don't know what to expect. Therefore, I would encourage understanding and compassion toward each otherby each family member who was at your grandmother's death. I believe there isn't a right way or a wrong way of helping one die; the most important part is being present in a loving way that represents what the loved one means to you.

I think the most wonderful piece of what you wrote is that many family members were with your grandmother when she died. Their presence -- whether singing or not -- had to have been a tremendous comfort for her in her final hours. In my book, that's the most important part. I hope that others in your family will agree.

Take care!

Dorian

My grandmother just passed this morning. She had my daughter sing Jesus Loves me each time she was there, and a few more. It always gave her a distictive smile when she came and sang and just allowed peace for that moment. My other very otherwise healthy grandmother has Alzeinmer's. She spent the better part of 40 years in the same church choir. Her disease is pretty far a long and it is amazing to hear what she has remembered from a hymnal. Singing for loved one can not hurt. What a great gift. If we only we can all be that loved when we leave this earth.