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Hi, Linda. Guilt is one of those emotions in the range of emotions that Caregivers like you, and me, and other experience. I manage a private caregivers support group online if you are interested in checking it out and joining, feel free to e-mail me at bigsur_1999@yahoo.com. I care for my Mom in my own home and the role of home-based caregiving is much different than when one cares for a parent in a nursing home. I would say that one role in the nursing home caregiving scenario has to be one of patient advocacy and watchdog. Show up at any time, and change the times and days you show up to check on your Mom. If you do, you will know how well she is managed by the staff. Another "role" for someone with Alzheimer's is to be in tune with where your Mom may be mentally at any given point since there will be good days and bad days in terms of being able to communicate with her based on the progression of her disease and current stages. Don't be so hard on yourself by wondering whether you are fulfilling your role "properly." Follow your heart. You are human, and it is your Mom, and it is a painful, confusing and sometimes frightening experience. Don't add hard and fast rules on top of all that. Keep your life simple to the extent possible. Would welcome you in my Caregivers Voices group if you need a place to share with others who will not judge you and will understand. Do remember to make time for yourself, ok? Promise?