It must be so hard on you. The other replies have said it well. You don't want him to suffer. It is harder for your Mom to accept. There is always a shocking period. My father-in-law is not in the dying situation yet but he is in severe stage of Alzheimer's. The thing is he has been able to survive many episodes and yet he is stable now although in a worse situation (he cannot walk.) I understand the feelings that you don't want him to suffer and yet you feel guilt and want to do the best to save him. You feel sorry that your Mom is very upset and etc. It takes sometime to adjust. I know my husband and his half brother will not accept it like that but they will accept it when the end comes. My FIL is 91. So it is really a long shot for us. It has been a hard road to take care of a long-term patient.   Take care, NC