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Hi Elizabeth, You have such a complicated situation. When you suffered abuse from you husband, like you have, and then see him vulnerable, it's normal to have these feelings. Your doctor is right. It won't "get better" for you over night. Keep seeing your doctor for your depression, and please see a counselor so you can work through any guilt feelings you have. They are not warranted.   Your husband is likely acting so drugged from the anti-psychotic, as well as the Xanax. It's good to keep in contact with the home and ask them to experiment. Most of his actions are typical of AD and you can't change that, but anti-psychotics aren't always warranted with AD. They do have to keep him from being overly aggressive, but that is often from anxiety, and the Xanax will help with that. Trial and error is often the only way to see what works, but over medication is often a problem.   Take care of yourself. Then work with the staff on his meds. Please keep checking in so we know how your are doing. Blessings, Carol