Hi, Jonquil,

Tough question - and I'm sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I just can tell you in my mom's case that prior to being diagnosed with Azheimer's, she had made it very clear verbally to family members that she did not want extraordinary measures, such as a feeding tube, taken. She also included this in her Directive to Phyicians/Living Will.  I wrote about this situation in my sharepost about a year ago, Mom's Swallowing Trouble and the Feeding Tube Decision.

So I'd start with what your mom has (hopefully) put into writing and then honor her wishes.

Dorian

It is tough indeed. I have no idea. My father-in-law with advanced Alzheimer's is too late to come with reasonable request. My husband has the health care proxy and is his POA. so my husband will have to decide for him.
I heard that feeding tube may not be comfortable. So it depends on what situation she is in. Balancing between the tube and quality of life....

I thought one could feed the person with IV first and see. (This is the hospice.)

It does not make sense that the feeding tube cannot be removed later... Guess you can stop feeding but the tube could still be there.

I have not looked into this issue. But I heard that getting feeding tube is not necessarily comfortable.

Nina

Hi Jonquil,

I'm sorry things are not going well for your Mom.... and also for the sadness and stress it creates for you and your family. I need to qualify that I am not a health professional. I have had experience with Alzheimer's through my Mom and some of the people I have met along the way of trying to help her the last 8 years.

It's a heart wrenching call to have to make. My Mom had a living will, which obviously made it much easier. My Mom and Dad had always told me what they wanted as well. When she first started having swallowing problems, my Mom was put on a thick liquid diet (everything had to be around the consistency of honey). The product "thickit" was used to thicken liquids and everything else was blended up. She could not chew but plain water went down too fast and choked her. She saw a speech therapist several times when she started having problems. I never realized how complicated swallowing can be until my Dad had trouble after a stroke.

It's awful that Alzheimer's is 100% fatal, but that's the reality. So for me it became about keeping my Mom comfortable both physically and emotionally. For me a feeding tube would have been too much stress emotionally as well as being extremely uncomfortable physically. The benefits of a feeding tube? More time probably, but what will the quality of that time be?

It's a sad saying in this context, but "Just because you can do something does not mean that you should" had to become one of my mottos with taking care of my Mom. My Mom was not going to be getting better and that had to be taken into consideration when making decisions about her care. Often what my heart wanted to do was in direct conflict with what was actually the best thing to do given the situation.

What does your Mom's doctor have to say about this? Also - If you don't have documentation, perhaps you can recall a time when the subject came up (visiting a sick relative with your Mom, etc.) and maybe that will help you decide.

Most of all, don't forget to take care of you during this trying time.

regards,

Bob