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Sometimes I think you have to be truly a jerk to criticize someone who is trying so hard to do the right thing for their parent! Where do you get off making comments about something you haven't experienced?? This issue is NOT cut and dry-- medically it isn't clear that the tube helps the person, and some studies show that it increases the chance of pneumonia. But if you did disagree with something, perhaps you could use a kinder tone next time...