Mom is extremely self directed.  She wants to live in her house and just "drop dead" some day.  She ignores her alzheimers diagnosis.  I have poa.  I'd like to move her across the country to a retirement community closeby.  She wants nothing to do with moving to a community, nor moving close to me.  She loves her 3 cats and can't bear to part with them.  She doesn't think she is "that bad".  She can't keep her meds straight--normal routines are fine, but she can't handle an emergency situation and is starting to be nervous about driving.  A woman she met wants to "care for her", but I don't know if she has credentials and Mom can hire her without my blessings, even though I have poa.  She is resistive to everything I want to do.  I have 25 years experience in long term care, as a health care professional.  She avoids me because she can't "fool" me.  She prefers other sister's comfort and advice, which is to pay for in home help until all her money is gone.  I am worried that when she eventually has an "event', or is too far gone to fly across country, it will be pointless to move her closer to me.

What should I do?  She has never been one to take advice or direction from anyone.  She gets very nasty when challenged, and frequently hangs up the phone on me, and screens my calls.  HELP!