We are considering a cat for my mother-in-law. We think this may allow her more time to live independently. My concern is that if this fails and she must move to an assisted living facility she will lose the cat. Would this be worse for her?
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3/ 4/10 4:31pm
Hi Margaret,
It depends on her state. Does she have dementia? What you mean by more time for independence? The problem is as she gets worse with dementia if she has dementia, the pet will not be cared by her properly unless you prepare to feed the cat and care for the cat for her. She won't be able to care for the cat later on. She will like the cat but she would forget to bring water or food to the cat. For example, when my FIL had mid stage, he was home alone with his late wife's late cat. The wife was in the hospital for broken hip and he came home not wanting to bother with the cat. I think he fed the cat but gave her no water. So the cat went to the toilet or sink to help herself. Now he can no longer care for a dog anymore with moderate stage Alzheimer's.
Some home may take the cat but it is not the issue. THe issue is can she care for the pet later on? Unless you will care for the cat, she may not be able to keep it to be "independent". She will like the cat a lot though. Also even if you manage to let her have the cat, when she has to depart with the cat, it will be quite emotional if she gets worse with dementia.
Take care,
Nina
3/ 5/10 2:35pm
Hi Margaret,
If you can feed or care for the cat, then I think the cat is a good idea for her to have companion. The only problem that may occur is when she may have to leave the cat behind.
The other thing you can do is tell her it is not her cat but it is your cat. Make it pet therapy and cat visits even if the cat is in the house. That way, she may feel ok when she has to leave the cat and you guys get to take the cat to your home.
Normally my FIL also likes animals - cats and dogs. The animals are so nice that they can act like companion for lonely elders.
It may work out if you tell her it is your cat and she can have it for a while. This way she does not have the pressure of caring for the cat.
Take care,
Nina
3/ 8/10 3:13pm
Think it through first. I bought a Yorkie for my dad thinking he would bond with her. That didn't happen he was to far into the desease (ALZ). What did happen is this. My father got up in the night and went to the bathroom. He tried to flush her down the toilet! Yup...thats what I said. She came running out of the bathroom up on my mothers bed sopping wet. All we could get out of dad was....I need to get rid of it. This dog was tiny less than 4lbs and brown. We can only guess what my dad thought he saw lying on the bathroom floor. My father was a animal lover and would have never done anything to harm her on purpose. There was an up side to this story. My mom was not real keen with getting a dog but she also thought it would be good for dad. My father died 5 months later, from complications with his heart. My mother now says I don't know what I would of done if I didn't have that dog. She has been her source of comfort. I am my fathers only daughter out of 5 children and my birthday is October 8 and also the day my father passed away a little over 1 year. I truely believe that things happen for a reason. It was my mother that needed the dog all along. Because someone greater than us knew what was to come.
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By Margaret Harmatuk— Last Modified: 12/26/10, First Published: 03/04/10
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Thanks Nina. Your response was very helpful. The cat belongs to my son and he realizes that he may be getting it back someday. We all thought it would lift her spirits which would help keep assisted living at bay. She is in the early to moderate stages of Alzheimer's and I'm with her quite a bit each day so feeding son't be an issue. In looking back at how I've described her staging I realize that on some levels she's pretty self-sufficient but on some she's advancing well into the moderate stage. You've given me a lot to think about.