Went to see my mother yesterday and had a wonderful visit.  I stayed about 6 hours and mom and I chatted and laughed and she was wonderful.  I live out of town and  around 9:30 I received a call from my brother.  Mother had called him and fussed and cussed at him and told him what terrible kids she had meaning my brother and I.  My brother and I have bent over backwards to ensure that mom  has the best possible  care and we have always been honest with her.  I make a trip to see her once a month and take care of all of her finances.  My brother, aunt, my son and a few friends visit her all the time.  They all live in the same town as mom.  I feel comfortable that she has enough visitors to ensure that she is being taken care of and that the staff is treating her well.  I have decided that I must do what ever it takes for me to survive.  I need to take a break and not visit or at least make my visits very brief.  I know that this behavior is the disease but it hurts and opens wounds over and over again.   I love my mom very much and I have done everything in my power to carry out all of her wishes that she convayed to me before this disease.  I guess I will close for now just wanted to vent.  Am I the only one that feels that everytime their loved ones has outburst like that , you feel like you are back in square one.  Do you ever get use to the changes?  I know that I sometimes feel paralized because of the emotions that go along with this disease and I guess I am morning the loss of the mother that I once knew.  Thanks

Lesa