This is hard work, when you are struggling yourself and barely holding it together. But, when your mom is gone, all that is left is the memories. You don’t want her whole life wiped out because no one can remember who she was before the months or years of dementia took over.
Look at photographs of happy times with Grandma. Put some out where the kids can see them. Talk about shared holidays. And when Grandma is short with them, remind them, when you are alone, that she would not act this way if she could control it, and nothing has changed in her love for them. This can be a terrifying time for kids. They see a beloved grandparent change before their eyes. The helplessness you feel is multiplied for them, by a lack of world experience.
9. Respect is vital.
Respecting your mom is vital; respecting yourself is vital. And there will be times that it will seem impossible to do both. That is why you need outside help. Alzheimer’s disease claims as its victims, the whole family. Look to your spiritual community for help. Look to Alzheimer’s organizations for help. Look to support groups for help. Those who have been through it understand, and their strength will be there for you to draw on as you travel this journey with your mom.
10. After the diagnosis, life goes on. But life will be very different.
You’ll need help navigating the long road ahead. Reach out. There are loving, experienced people who want to help. Let them. Organizations are continually updating information. Feed your hunger to learn more by checking the Alzheimer’s sites often. Read the information and the blogs on ouralzheimers.com. You’ll be drawing strength from veterans.
This experience with your mother is part of your life journey. It will change you forever. One day you will be able to give back to others who are struggling with the devastation of Alzheimer’s disease. You will become part of the solution.
