Resolutions for caregivers

The promise of a new year may seem daunting if you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, but not if you see it as an opportunity for a fresh start.

Take advantage of the 2008 calendar in front of you by finally tackling the issues that frequently get brushed aside.

January 1 is an ideal time to revisit your present and future caregiving situation by addressing: 

• legal issues

• financial concerns

• your loved one's changing needs

• conversations with other family members

Update or create a care plan

It may be necessary to work with a professional to review your loved one's long-term plan. A geriatric specialist can help you identify the resources and establish a plan that meets both your needs and those of your loved one, says, Mauri Malka, who manages caregiver training and support groups.

Questions to consider include:

• Is the plan still realistic?

• Has your loved one's condition deteriorated recently?
  

• Is it still possible to care for your loved one at home?

• If not, what other options exist?

The key is to plan ahead, Malka says, and to keep communication open among those involved in your loved one's care.

The plan should include legal and financial issues. For example, assess practical concerns such as Medicaid assistance for a person who might need long-term care outside the home.

Also, ensure that both you and your loved one have a living will, Malka advises.  

Have power of attorney privileges in place long before your loved one with Alzheimer's loses his or her mental capacity to assign this important task, she says. Without this in place, you might have to go through the legal process of having your loved one declared incompetent and assigned a guardian.

Assess your own attitude

Another important resolution for a caregiver is to examine his or her own attitude about the loved one. Many caregivers have an overwhelming motivation to make an ill family member happy.

Unfortunately, a caregiver who measures his or her success as a caregiver based on their loved one's happiness faces certain disappointment.

"Sometimes you may feel you're beating your head against the wall," Malka says, particularly if your loved one has unrealistic desires to do things that are no longer possible.  

The reality of the situation is that a caregiver may be able to keep a loved one safe and to provide him or her with good care, but it is not within your power as a human being to make him or her happy. 

For help in coping with these expectations, Malka suggests contacting local social service agencies that offer individual and group training for caregivers. These options can include counseling and support groups as well as respite care that allows caregivers a break from their duties.