If it means leaving behind some possessions , so beit , I said .. my well being is more important .. first step is getting packed .. second getting to California .. third , relax, rest and breathe ..

Yes, breathe , as times like this it seems that you don't feel you are breathing .. you just are .. so I will breathe , and I will sort through what I have .. and I will ship what I can to Florida when I am able .. and I will do what I must do ...

Calm, numb , frustrated and sad .. hurt , lonely , and feeling betrayed .. that will fade , as it is already fading .. and with hope , pride and having regained my self , I will succeed ..

So, for all who face defeatist people , I say , take care of you for you .. not for them, not for anyone , but you .. it can be done .. slow as it may seem , it is worth the journey ..

And never allow anyone define you , you must define yourself ... so , forward I go .. chin up , love in my heart and shed the old , shed the past and just move on ....