The holiday season ...

It is that time of year again , when family gets together and frineds rejoice in the holidays .. for most anyway ...

For some it is a time of lonliness and isolation .. and as I sit here and think about all of those who have no one to share with .. I am compelled to write ..

This year was different, as I shared Thanksgiving with neighbors .. they opened their home to me .. and I had the opportunity to share the few hours of my day with them and their children ..

I had the opportunity to actually enjoy a meal with others , instead of alone .. to hold a beautiful little 8 mth old and feed her .. to see the playfulness of a 3 yr old boy , delight in the gift I brought him ..

My neighbors, who I have known for over 2 years , have issues also .. David suffers from CP and depression, anxiety and is a stay at home father who aspires to be a musician .. I have watched him deteriorate as he struggles to cope with not being or feeling accepted by his peers ..

So we sat and shared a dinner and talked about why he is blessed .. to have a wife that supports him, a son who is a sponge and how he soaks up David's emotions .. a beautiful daughter , so new to this world that he can mold to become anything she wants .. and how he needs to stop focusing so much on his needs , his desires to the point of where he has already made not so good an impression on his son ..

As David oftens flys off the handle I often wondered if he thinks about how truly blessed he is .. he complains of so much but I see him as lucky to be where he is and what he can do ..

He listened intently and even admitted that he knows he has to learn to control his actions more .. but will he ? So, I sit holding this precious girl and wish I could do more to help him to realize his true potential as a father ..

Sometimes I sit alone here and think what a lonely existence .. thenn I realize that it is up to me to change this picture .. so Christmas will be with my brother, John .. when I make my move to California .. and while it was not my first choice , I have accepted that this is just the beginning .. not the end ..

I will do whatever it takes to get my sense of self centered again .. and save my money up and head o back to Florida .. near to my mom , cousins and family .. and be happier ..

Each new step takes me closer to that happiness, as my anxiety ebbs and flows , I will not succumb again to isolation .. and I will enjoy Christmas and the New Year with a loved one ..

Someday it will be even better .. but for others out there , struggling , I am also concerned .. so I have made a decision to give back what I can ..

When I do get "home" , I will do my best to get involved , to help those who sit alone and suffer through these joyous of times .. I made that decision .. because everyone does need someone to just be there .. and I will start slowly .. but I will be more involved to help change peoples lives as best I can ...