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Job Related

By keithy rollie Thursday, January 07, 2010

I struggle with depression and I think anxiety. It has to do with my job. I am 48 and I make $13.50 an hour and I don't get a lot of positive feed back from my boss. I feel trapped and my chest feels tight with anxiety. I am on effexor for depression and it helps but I am still struggle. I feel incompetent. I have a lot of good in my life but my emotions feel depressed and anxious. I am interested in any coping tips or ideas any of you may have. I never was clinically depressed until age 40. I have been battling ever since. The anxiety is current and job related. I don't know where to go or what to do except keep working to provide for my family. I don't have the money, the motivation, or the drive right now to go to college...I do have an Associates degree....I could list all the good things about my life right now....and I keep a thankful journal.....but I still struggle with these mental issues....it helps to hear your input...thanks everybody.

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Merely Me, Health Guide
1/ 7/10 5:45pm

Hi there!

 

I can tell you that some of my worst anxiety in my life was job related.  And it is so hard when...you really need the money and depend so much upon your job...it seems to make the anxiety worse.  Can you tell us what provokes the anxiety the most on your job?  Is it your boss?  Remember that you are never trapped although it might feel that way.  One thing you can do is to pursue other options and just working on that...can help with the anxiety.  But I understand in this economy...options may be scarce.

 

Tell us more about what is going on and...at the very least...we can give you some emotional support.

 

Thank you for reaching out here.

1/ 8/10 5:58pm

What provokes the anxiety the most on my job? Frustration. My boss is a nice guy but he is very unorganized. He expects you to read his mind some times. He is not clear on his expectations. Also I feel like a failure because I never picked a career. I just took jobs over the years. But I don't feel this way when I am not depressed. I satisfy myself with a balance of home life, hobbies, and job. I am pursuing other options but the way my mind has been lately I am not sure that is the answer. I just don't know. But as I said before I am feeling better. Not in the black dark of depression. Mornings are still somewhat difficult but my hope is returning. I try to relax and take breaks at work and not stress out too much because I think that is what triggers my depression and anxiety. I know I am not really trapped. It just feels that way. Thanks for listening. I am not complainer, but I want to be open with this community so we can help each other. Thanks.

 

Tell us more about what is going on and...at the very least...we can give you some emotional support.

 

Thank you for reaching out here.

Reply

1/ 8/10 10:53am

Hi

I am 53 and was/am a carpenter and altough my work as always make me feel good about myself, there is one undeniable truth you cant wait upon others for (positive feedback) you must learn to give it to yourself and when it does come from others well...thats a plus.

Maybe you would like to consider other avenues that will make you feel good about yourself like a personnal project it can be anything as ''dum'' as it may sound even a puzzle will do it I give that example to show that you dont need to spend much.

Exercise will bring you a long way as it will stimulate not only your body but mind to.

 

I know how it is when you dont have the drive to indulge in such activities but you should consider it as nothing will change if you dont make that change for yourself and you deserve it.

 

Medication is a tool but one cant rely on it alone to do the work.

 

Be Well

Michel

1/ 8/10 11:47am

Hi Mike,

Thanks for caring. I am an estimator at a glass company. I agree you can't wait on others for (positive feedback) you must learn to give it to yourself and when it does come from others well...thats a plus. I think I need to be more assertive and ask for feed back. I am talking about clearer expectations and unambiguous instructions. Praise would be nice but I was not primarily talking about that. I have considered other avenues to make myself feel good about myself. But I also battle depression. And I believe medication is helpful but not the whole answer. I appreciate all the suggestions I am getting from people like you that care. I have been going to a family game night at church. And that seems to help. Even though I don't feel like going, once I get there it helps. Isolation at my job in the cubicle is part of the problem. Also I am a musician. I have not felt like playing in public lately, but I think I am well enough to try now. I feel better; I have been on meds for about 25 weeks now, but I am not 100 percent yet. Maybe I never will be. I don't know. But having people that care and understand helps. So setting up a gig is a sort of personal project. I might try the puzzle thing. I do exercise a little most every day. I think I need to hike with some one not alone; that might help. Thanks for all your encouraging input. I hope others benifit from it too. I intend to continue with these coping methods even though right now they are difficult. One of the things I am doing to help myself is to reach out to you guys. Your input really helps. I hope you are encouraged too by my sharing. 

 

1/ 8/10 12:51pm

Keithy

Of course your sharing helps and I thank you for it, I should share more as I did before I have been on this site for over two years now and I use to share more about me.

 

I dont have the pretention that sharing my past will help someone altough...it might, suffering is not something that one can measure and I dont hold the truth...but one thing is for shure I know mine, the road that I have been on took me to a abyss that I tought at the time I wouldnt never get out of it but here I am, a simple man of simple needs who tries to rest his head at night with he feeling of a day well lived.

 

My recovery started back in 1997 when I check in a private clinic for detox and therapie it lasted in all two years I really was a bottom of the barrel wreck of a human being what brought me there is a long story.

 

Maybe I'll share it again

1/ 8/10 5:24pm

What a good statement: "a simple man of simple needs who tries to rest his head at night with the feeling of a day well lived". I am glad you shared that thought. It lets me know I don't have to be a big-shot in order to like myself. I don't have to beat myself up because I am not as "successful" as that other guy. Maybe I am just myself. Maybe I am just different. Thanks.

1/12/10 11:48am

I'm so sorry its tough on you right now.  I am 41, have 7 kids and a full time, very stressful job and a 2 +hour daily commute.  My anxiety is all over the board, from work to kids, to just an overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom.  I find that for me my faith has to play a big part of it or I can't seem to move forward and take care of the things in my life I need to take care of.  But I can also say that sometimes that doesn't work at all which makes me feel more abandoned.  The only meds Im' taking is Ativan.  I guess that's because I don't want to go on something that's stronger and daily and will make me lose any feeling and emotion.  Remember that you are not trapped or hopeless.  Just the fact that you are working is good.  One thing I learned long ago is that you can not rely on your boss for positive feedback.  Many bosses aren't very good at that.  You just need to feel good about your accomplishments for the day.  I might suggest keeping a diary at work of all of your daily accomplishments, meetings, etc so you can physically see everything you did that day and KNOW that you are an asset to that company no matter how much feedback you do not get.  It's NEVER hopeless......This is just a little mountain you must climb so that you can get back on track and more ahead and just as soon as the economy turns around you can start looking for something else...........Good luck.......

1/12/10 12:17pm

I can't believe how wonderful you people are. Thanks for your words of encouragement. It really helps. I relate to what you are saying and your suggestions are very practical. Yes it is tough for me right now. As I said before I am struggleing with depression too. Counting my blessings helps too. Thanks for reminding me I am not trapped. The work diary is a good idea. Also a gratitude journal helps. My stress does lessen at night. But in the morning I don't feel good. I feel like it is the same old boring thing everyday. But I try to inject being social into my life at work a little. ANd that helps. I am blessed I have a short commute. At my job I feel like I can never do enough. My chest hurts. I feel the doom and gloom too. But I fight it. I am positive at work. I am glad that I have a job. I have liked this job ok before. I think the depression makes it seem worse than it really is. I don't know for sure. Again thanks for caring.

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By keithy rollie— Last Modified: 12/20/10, First Published: 01/07/10