I think I've had some level of aniexty my intire life. After the birth of my first child it was mildy bothersome. After the second, life changing. While I am aware that my thoughts are not rational, I cannot always control them. My husband has been as supportive as someone who has never suffered this can. However, when my worry gets out of control he had said to me before to "stop it" like I don't want to or something! I have also been told by a few that I am just "one of those people" like what does that mean? I don't choose to be this way, believe me! It just is and I do my best to not let it control me, but there are times it does. Think the fact that my oldest child is autistic and the younger one will probably be given the ADHD label when old enough helps? I think if I wasn't anxious, something would be wrong! Most of my concerns stem back to wanting the best for my family and doing my best to protect them. Before my kids I never considered all the "what ifs" of this world, but now I am forced to think about all those horrible possibilities. My love for them is all consuming, even when they are driving me mad.
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I have experienced all of these, more than once. I think people should try to understand that a person suffering with anxiety may not be able, or is wary from experience, to articulate to their satisfaction the cause(s) of their condition.
Being subjected to these examples you give a few times, makes me reluctant to voice reasons, valid in my mind, to another person. Often, I am confused about the why of feeling anxiety myself making it hard to satisfy someone else when I'm not even sure, just that, I know it is there and it is real.
Most people, of casual interest, will use one of more "stratagems" to "help" and when finding they fail to convince the person with anxiety, will walk away and at times, utter some phrase to make themselves feel better but makes the anxious person feel worse, like, I've done all I can, or he just won't listen, or, there's no helping him or her. Well, that certainly made things better. :)
I think attempting to help get the reasons out and taking them serious, offering real ways to help, is the best way to be a friend. Never giving up on a friend, if they won't this time and the next ten, is not a reason to abandon that friend on everything. To accept and enjoy the person as they can give and encourage them when they'd like to do something. Take them serious just as you wish to be taken.
Anyway, a very accurate list of Ten and solid reasons to not use any of them.
Thank you for this Paul...
and I think you give excellent suggestions of what TO DO. Right...don't give up on the person and try to get to the talking about the person's fear in a serious light. I have found that the world is impatient with scaredy cats and anxious people. They just want you to get on with things but...it ain't that easy!
Thanks again for your comment. It seems you understand anxiety very well.