We began our series on social anxiety with a discussion about social anxiety and dating. We got some really good feedback from members about what this can be like from the perspective of someone who has social anxiety as well as from the viewpoint of someone who is attempting to date a person who has social anxiety. Next we talked about how social anxiety can have a great impact upon your job. I tell my personal story of how I coped with social anxiety in the work place. And this week we shall discuss how to meet people and make friends when you suffer from social anxiety. I can tell you from my firsthand experience, as a person who suffers from social anxiety, that finding others to connect with can be difficult but not impossible.
When you suffer from social anxiety you may suffer from great doubts about yourself in terms of relating to others. Things like initiating conversation, asking someone if they want to get together, or sharing about oneself can make some of us tremble and sweat. Thoughts race through our mind such as, "I may say the wrong thing." or "I am going to look like an idiot in front of others." This internal dialogue can reinforce our fear and cause us to avoid the very thing we wish for, connection and friendship. The result of this terrible feedback loop is isolation and depression.
One way to combat the fear and isolation caused by social anxiety is to find ways of meeting others who understand what you are going through. This can be accomplished in a number of ways. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be an excellent method of learning new strategies to overcome fears related to social anxiety. When this type of therapy is done in a group setting, it can also be a means to meet others as well. Call your local mental health clinic to find out whether group CBT sessions are being held in your area for social anxiety. Another resource to call is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and their information hotline number is: 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264). Their information hotline is available from Monday through Friday, 10 am- 6 pm, Eastern time.
A second method of meeting new people is to join one of the many support groups on-line created especially for those who suffer from social anxiety. For those of us who have social anxiety, the Internet can feel like a much safer venue to talk to people. You have time to think about what you wish to communicate before you write and some of the social pressure is lessened by not having to interpret body language and facial expressions. And too, it is convenient. You don't have to drive anywhere or worry about what to wear. You can talk to people whenever you feel like it and when you have had enough, you just shut off the computer.
Here are some chats, forums, and on-line support groups I found for people who suffer from social anxiety. I have not tried any of these forums myself so it is up to you to use your discretion about which group is right for you.
