Wednesday, February 23, 2011
In my previous article we discussed the fear of intimacy. Some people who have intimacy anxiety will be reluctant to commit to a relationship. Others may fear opening up to their partner emotionally. And in some cases the fear of intimacy may translate to anxiety in the bedroom. Sexuality anxiety ...
Hello MM,
Well it's Monday another week to get through. Over the weekend my boyfriend was acting quite and distance, so I knew something was wrong naturally I asked and finally he told me he doesn't feel wanted sexually by me. Honestly I haven't felt attractive I have put on weight I am going thru menapause and then there is the depression/anxiety and now the vertigo.
The first time I experienced vertigo, it was not pleasant and it was during sex, vertigo has happened on several occasions during sex. So now I try to take all percautions to prevent it , and I'm nervous, and find I try to hurry through it and I understand where he is coming from as it takes the intimacy and passion out of it. I explained all this to him. I do want him, but as life goes other things take priority. Every once in a while I will wear make up and try to look attractive for him but mostly to feel better about me.
He said he understands and I told him when I was married my husband accused me of only giving him sex to shut him up and that every time we did he felt I was faking.
I told my boyfriend that I don't want to go through that scenario again that my feelings are true and that I felt I loved him more then I did my ex-husband. I didn't want to fight w/ him but I have told him many times which has been an on going issue for us, I don't feel appreciated for all that I do for him.
Ahhhhh...men :) :( dewalt
Hi Dewalt!
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your story.
I hear you. It is very hard to "get in the mood" when you have so many other things going on...stress...depression...health concerns, etc. But then your partner may internalize this as...you don't want them sexually. Have you ever watched the Larry David show? He is the creator of Seinfeld and he also has his own show now. There was a very funny scene where he is sick in bed and he wants his wife to have sex with him so he would feel better. And when his wife was sick he thought offering her sex was a nice gesture because that is what he would have wanted. I had to laugh because I think it showed the difference in how (some) men and women differ in how they view sex. Men think it is a cure all for whatever ails you....and most women don't want to even think about sex when they are tired or ill.
Thanks again for reading my posts and for your comments. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Hi there,
Larry David show too, he is a riot, men in general do have a one track mind when it comes to sex.... I remember an episode of Seifeld when Jerry, Elaine,and George were @ their usual diner, Jerry and Elaine were talking about sex and their relationship when they dated. Jerry though was bragging about his sexual escapades and how women can't fake orgasm.. Elaine told him that most of the time while they dated she faked orgasms with Jerry, so it kind of injured his ego. It was hilarious.. Love that show.
Thanks for the pick me up I needed a good laugh..
Dewalt