They say there are only two things which are certain in life: Death and taxes. Most everything else in life is a choice. Yet how many choices do we decline due to fear and anxiety? How often do our fears limit our opportunities? If you suffer from any type of anxiety disorder, avoidance can be your primary defense. Many people who suffer from anxiety react by avoiding those events and situations which provoke psychological discomfort. But does this strategy work in the long run? Does there come a time when we realize that our fears have backed us into a corner and there is no more room to hide? But are there also times when avoidance behaviors are not only acceptable but important to maintaining our mental health? In this post we are going to take a look at when avoidance is sabotaging your psychological growth and when such behaviors are an appropriate coping mechanism.

When is avoidance bad for us?

Let’s say you had an incident where you had a panic attack in a crowded supermarket. A thought came into your head that you would not be able to escape the crowd and could be trampled if there was a mass exodus from the store. Your memory of this panic attack makes you avoid going to this particular supermarket so you choose another. Yet the same fears arise when you go into a new store. You not only fear the possibility of a crowd, you are also anxious over the thought of having another panic attack in a public place. Your anxiety and fear begin to generalize and magnify over time to most public settings until you seldom leave your home. This is an instance where avoidance behavior has generalized to other settings and agoraphobia is the result. This is an extreme example but it does illustrate how avoidance behaviors can end up severely limiting our day to day functioning.

Here are a few indications when avoidance behavior can harm our mental health and well being:

• Your avoidance is hindering or limiting your day to day functioning including the ability to hold down a job, perform daily chores, or sustain relationships with others.

• Your avoidance is preventing you from doing things you really would like to do but are too fearful.

• Your avoidance behaviors are causing you, your family and loved ones psychological distress.

• Your avoidance is causing you to lose opportunities for growth in your career, relationships, and personal enjoyment of life.

• You feel as though you are a hostage to your anxiety.

Is there ever a time when avoidance is mentally healthy?

There may be some who may argue with my philosophy on this but yes I do believe there are situations where avoidance is essential to maintain your mental health and well being. The best case example of this is in dealing with toxic people in your life. Everyone has their psychological limitations. If you are in a situation where you are constantly exposed to people who drain your energy, ability to function, and cause you undue stress and anxiety, it may be time to think of how to limit this exposure. If you have tried everything you know how to create more peaceful and positive interactions with this person, and they remain unchanged in how they treat you, it is time to think about limiting your time with this person. This is particularly true when there is any sort of abuse involved. There are simply some relationships you cannot save no matter how hard you “work” at it. Some may call your distance avoidance and some may call it a wise choice to protect your precious mental health.