med review/verbal session

I went to my latest appt. w/therapist and med review w/ a new nurse practioner on

Wed.  I suggested to up my anti-depressant and reduce the xanax, however the practioner seems gung -ho and putting me on clonipan, I am reluctant as I have heard it from my therapist and others from this site it is difficult to get off of this medication.  I am still on the xanax and was concerned that I may be coming dependent on it.  I told her that I would need to think it over.  My therapist recommened I stay on what I currently have for the exception of maybe increasing the dosage of the anti-depressant.  I agreed w/ her and will see @ my next appt.  My therapist also indicated that because of the ptsd the anger and rage issues are something we need to work through as my patience level has become less and less tolerant.  I need to find a way to wean my self from the xanax.  As I have been out several times before next script is written.  I know and am aware of my triggers and have become very conscience of my behavior, so I try very hard not to let it get to me.. It is not easy but must try it.  My therapist attributes alot of my rage is due to the ptsd and my always being on HIGH alert to any danger.  I have on vise nicotine and it alone is hard to kick, but w/ all the crap going on in my life it is sometimes just overwhelming and I will either fight or flight.  When I fight like a cat being cornered... I feel trapped.  Or I emotionally fall apart.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Dewalt