My head is constipated. It is so full of crap. I ruminate over every little thing that it drives me up a wall. Like this morning, I thought "I wanted so badly to have the "head circus (voices) out, now I think its too quiet upstairs." I am grateful that there aren't voices like there used to be. But now I think and think and think. Will I ever get to the point where I will be satisfied? That's where my addiction comes in...its the last vestige of my abusing life. I wonder what will happen when that addiction is no longer needed. Will I replace it with good things? I hope so.

Today I am going to the outpatient clinic at the hospital. Its an intake appointment to address my needs. They have one group that will be of service to me..anxiety group. I am hoping that the intake worker will see the need. Next week I am going to call a therapist. I want to find ways to counter my storied past. Maybe that will help make my "mind poop."

Frappe my faithful companion is laying near the desk snoring. I love that dog. Earlier we had a game of chase the tennis ball. I love the way he runs through the house chasing that ball!!

I am still doing the puter room tiling. It is hard going. When the duct people were here I couldn't do any, they were all over this house. Today we get the new furnance.

I have to get back on the floor. I want to finsih that section today.

Peace.

Henri Bergson-"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."

David