I'm not sure how to respond except to say that what you post is very true. PTSD is like a prison sentence except you have been locked inside your own mind, constantly confronting the offense. And you're not the one who committed the offense, yet you are the one who has to suffer.
I think some therapists are sadly lacking when it comes to helping a person deal with PTSD. I was blamed for my thinking patterns -- too much "black and white" thinking, too much "all or nothing" thinking -- or at least that is how I was made to feel. I was not really given a chance to say, "This is what happened and this is how I am still feeling about it." The therapists were too busy trying to change me in some way rather than putting the blame where it belonged and helping me. Maybe I AM the one who had to change. Certainly my abuser was not going to change. But I needed more than weekly pep talks. I needed someone to walk me through the valley of the shadow of death until I came out on the other side. Fortunately, I was finally able to accomplish this on my own.
That was a very deep post :) And you are right. They make us feel as though we are the bad ones. Somebody hurts us or hits a trigger point (even when they know we are vulnerable), and we act out in such ways and we are the offenders. My PTSD is psychological and results from family trauma. Everything has been blamed on me and I was just "emotional" or "bipolar" docs said. This is the hardest thing i have ever had to fight and live with. I know people have it worse than I do, however the past continues to haunt me and everyday i am just fading more and more away......and no one gets it.
Hello to everyone, I am new to this site and feel very emotional having found it and read all your postings. I too suffer with PTSD, some symptoms that stay with me all the time and others that come and go. It truly is so debilitating, even more exacerbated by the onset of depression. You feel so isolated and lonely, embarrassed to share your thoughts and emotions for fear of being looked at like 'your mad'. But to find others who share the same/similar feelings is truly wonderful. I've found it by following Kimberleys excellent and moving article, at a time that is a very low ebb for me. I am fortunate to have an excellent psychotherapist, but having entered into new ground work at the onset of Christmas, and aggravated symptoms as a result, I must confess to struggling particularly in this Easter break. I wonder if others out there are experiencing the same thing. Even though I know the break will be over in a matter of weeks, each day is proving an eternity particularly as I have two children at home for the school hols, so I need to hide my distress as much as possible from them.
I have PTSD...An awful case of it... and your write up is perfect in showing my boyfriend that I can't let go and that it is a disease and not just a disorder. I have been untreated for almost 8 years for it. My life feels dwindled down to nothing...this essay gave me a slight glimps of hope!!! And very much insight!!!! Hope to learn more!!
Lindsey
This is also me to a tee, I have already called my Family Dr. to let him know about this artical and I'm calling my Pain management Doctor right now!
I believe I can get some help with these "feelings" if I can get all my Doctors to see what I have been telling them for years.
Today just maybe "DAY ONE FOR ME"!.....NOW I'M CRYING? YET SO HAPPY..
Tony