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When Final Decisions Abate the Worry Factor

By Kimberly Tyler, Health Guide Monday, April 28, 2008

I have been dealing with many serious issues of late.  I am not talking about my work life or social life (although these two areas have been affected).  I am speaking out about what can occur in life that is beyond the routine.

 

At present, I am currently involved in four lawsuits.  Yes, four.  The first two were weird enough.  It is a rare thing to have to retain a lawyer (it was for me, anyway).  I am a law-abiding citizen and a strident rule-follower.  I stop for a count of three at every stop sign and I do not lie, cheat or steal.  I report all required information on my taxes.

 

I was in a severe car accident over two years ago.  Needless to say, due to this accident, I have needed to hire two lawyers-one for property damage to the car and one for personal injury.  After over two years, not one dime has been paid out for the car or the physical damages.  I have never in my life been in such debt.

 

The accident brought out in full force emotional setbacks (it set off a tireless and steady stream of PTSD symptoms), physical set-backs (nerve damage, concussion, back and neck) and financial.  Needless to say, I had an enormously difficult and uphill battle for the first two years tending to these aspects, never mind the daily physical and occupational therapy I still currently need to do.  It has required over two years for me to comprehend fully that "fairness" and "justice" are two separate entities.

 

In the middle of my attention to these two lawsuits (about a year and seven months into the fallout from the car accident), a very dear friend committed suicide.  That process of acceptance was its own difficulty... and then within two months I volunteered to be the administrator c.t.a. (another name for Executor) of her estate.  I also signed on to be the Power of Attorney for her husband who is 81 years old and in a rehab/nursing facility.  Okay, a lot to take on (I have never done this sort of thing before); but, as nobody else was stepping forward to handle the affairs of the estate, and the husband was flailing, I decided that even though I am not rocket-scientist, I am organized, diligent and conscientious. 

 

There are now two more lawsuits regarding the estate.  That is why I am now in the bizarre world of four lawsuits simultaneously.

 

The entirety of my reasoning for taking on the responsibility of my friend's affairs as well as her husbands was for me to honor my friend.  I wanted to do right by her.  Even in death, my friendship mantra of "I have your back" did not leave me.  I do not regret my decisions. 

 

Oddly, the initial two lawsuits informed me well for the next two.  By the time the second two lawsuits came calling, I was in awareness of the concept of "fairness" as well as judicial procedure. 

 

I am currently dealing with two lawsuits coming to head at the same time.  Over the last 24 hours, I have needed to make some very big decisions regarding matters of law, strategy, and what I will and will not accept for settlement purposes.  I also have a meeting tomorrow morning regarding the declining health of the husband.  THAT puts perspective on many issues I am facing (particularly the "bullying" and standing up for what is right.)  Life is too short and precious to deal with all the legal bits and pieces constantly being thrown about.  I have needed to keep perspective, and this has been a challenge.

By Kimberly Tyler, Health Guide— Last Modified: 06/17/12, First Published: 04/28/08