Thursday, March 03, 2011
Some of what my former clients told me, some of what I told myself. I wrestle daily with the guilt, real and/or imagined mistakes, things I could have done differently. The guilt is the most powerful it all brings such despair. Many days I just don't think I'm going to make it, and hold on until I get connected, sometimes it takes a long time. I guess it means I still want to be connected. So far my will to live is winning. But it fills me with dread - it's a paradox of existence: wanting to be seen and terrified at the same time. Terrified that I will be found out, that I am an Impostor and that how I feel and what I experience IS my fault.
I have witnessed the world and now I'm in hiding.
Kelly
Welcome to AnxietyConnection.com.
You are right. PTSD is not your fault. And what you have experienced is not your fault. You are working hard to get your life back on track and that is great. You will make it!
Take your time, don't expect all of your feelings to go away over night. It is going to take time to work through your guilt and your fear, but it can be done. Give yourself a pat on the back for every day you make it through. Whenever you need to, post how you are feeling. We want to know and we want to help. Use this site for support. Take some time to read some of the posts from other members and join in the discussions. It is good for you to share your experiences because we all learn from one another.
Again, welcome!
Eileen