Two days ago a cardiologist killed is two small children then attempted to his own life, he was in instance of divorce. I will not attempt to say that is act is recommandeble, because it is not but I will say this. In our society where many safe houses exist for women who are abuse I asked where is the equivalent for men. Big boys dont cry we heard that from many mothers, well they do. When and if a man asked for help its because he is at the very end of the rope so it becomes a question of up most urgency to help them, sadly the goverments are not willing to invest the moneys for programs and infrastructure for them. I am appalled by this, times have changed men do need help where can they turn to...nowhere that is the sad reality of things.
Here in Québec there is 180 safe houses for women with social workers, psychologist and doctors, there is one for men La Maison Père Enfant. the Goverment spends 80 million a year helping women in distress I say Bravo to this on the other hand tough they spend 1 million for men...hello this is 2009.
The Minister of health as since 2003 a report from experts with suggestion and plans of action to counter this ''situation'' hes considering it still, how many more tragedy's will it take for a course of action.
Suffolk
Suffolk
Thanks for bringing up this topic. I think men have a more difficult time talking about the abuse they may suffer at the hands of a women, but I think the damage done is still present.
However, on the other hand, statistics show that 92% of domestic violence is women being victimized by men. That would mean the large majority of shelters should continue to be for women, although I agree there should be more help for men.
As I was physically and emotionally abused by my first husband (I have been away from it for 20 years and am in a loving relationship now), I know first hand all the damage such a relationship can bring. Emotional scars are the hardest to heal, as you know, and they do not discriminate according to gender.
The recent events in the news will bring this to the forefront once again (for the good), but men that are either emotionally or physically abused need to speak out and let the world know they are also victims.
Eileen
Hello Eileen
I totally agree with the statistic, true women are more violated then men it is a undeniable fact, what I wanted to express tough is that if they was more ressources available for men maybe just maybe men would start to open up and get out of the isolation they feel when in crisis and that would contribute I think to lower all these tragedies awfull tragedies, its not a question of taking anything away from women that would be a travesty, all I am saying is its really time for us as a society to stop ignoring yes ignoring that men of today do suffer also and there needs are just as real as women's.
Despair as no gender
Eileen I am truly sorry for what you had to go trough in your past really. I am happy that now you have found your soul mate, I salute you for the courage that you must had have to get were you are today.
Suffolk
Suffolk
I, also, am not disagreeing with you. I think abuse toward men in relationships is more widespread than we care to believe. I also believe that it is so difficult for women to stand up against their abusers, but in some ways is even more difficult than men. After all, they are considered the "stronger" sex and to be able to say someone is abusing them is still considered to be a sign of weakness. I agree more resources should be available to men.
You bring up an interesting point, however, and these tragedies of men killing wives and committing suicide, how many are a result of men being emotionally/physically abused by their wives, rather than the other way around?
(Although I am not sure you actually asked this question, or if it was a problem within this particular relationship, it is one that comes to mind from your discussion of this event.)
Thanks for your support over my past situation. Last December was 20 years of being free of an abusive relationship and I look at that as a real milestone, so many women (and men) are so afraid to leave the relationship (with good reason, so many women are seriuosly injured or killed because of leaving), they remain stuck in a dangerous situation.
Thanks to friends, family, a wonderful and caring women's shelter and caring professionals, I was able to leave and remain safe.
Even after this length of time, the PTSD still appears once in a while. I can't watch a movie or read a book dealing with domestic violence, it all comes back and I find myself being paranoid and scared once again, even though I have no reason to (but isn't that what anxiety is all about?)
Thanks again, I enjoy our discussions.
Eileen