Just want to be normal and calm

sos Living With It 39 yr old female and wife and mother living with anxiety and... Send Message Subscribe: sos

Monday, May 05, 2008
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Hi I am 39 and have been living with anxiety for years...only recently diagnosed with it. I take lexepro 10mg 1x daily and xanax when needed.....which is and interesting because it feels like I could need it all the time... but I dont. I would give my right arm to feel normal...I have 2 daught...

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I've been there too!
Madison March
Wednesday, May 07, 2008 at 02:27 PM

Dear Jen,

First of all, I'm glad you found your way to AnxietyConnection.com. You are one step closer to feeling better! It's important for you to know that you're not alone, nor are you the only person suffering in silence from your anxiety. Doctors and scientists estimate that approximately 20 million Americans have some form of chronic anxiety.

It's so tough when your spouse can't understand what you're going through. An anxiety disorder is a legitimate & REAL medical condition, but our friends and family expect us to just "snap out of it" or something! It's so frustrating when a loved ones tells us to just "relax", as if that's going to cure our anxiety! To me, it's like telling someone confined to a wheel chair to "just get up already!" -- it really illustrates a lack of understanding and compassion.

As for your constant anxiety about health and death, you're not alone on those concerns either. In fact, you wouldn't be human if you didn't think about those very real and unpleasant facts of life. It is especially normal to feel consumed by these negative thoughts after the death of a loved one or a major health scare. However, it becomes problematic for us when we are so preoccupied by these thoughts on a daily basis that we can't get past them and live in the present.

I just posted part 1 of a blog entitle "I tamed my anxiety and YOU can too!" about how I've tamed my own severe anxiety problems. I started with medication, followed by therapy 1x a week and some pretty major lifestyle changes.

Warm regards,

Your friend, Madison March

re: I've been there too!
sos
Wednesday, May 07, 2008 at 02:51 PM

madison,

thank you so much for your reply...and I LOVED your example of a wheels chair bound person being told to just get up...how true is that>???

Lucky for me I have a best friend who is a huge help to me when I fall in these spells...she does not have it but WOW what a friend....

I will read your post on how you have helped yourself when I get home from work tonight...Im out of xanax right now but do have a few refils left....so I will fill that soon...right now Im doing ok, but tomorrow who knows?? I also did have a few real health scares and lost one of my twin daughters when she was born....so I know I have issues.

In the mean time, I am happy to have found this site, and hope to learn how to deal with this and control it.

have a great day...

Jen

re: I've been there too!
Debbie Dalbora
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 01:06 PM

I just found this wonderful website....I am surely not alone in living with this frustrating condition! I am currently on Day 12 without anit-depressants for Anxiety! Had terrible side-effects to Paxil Cr...weaned off Lexapro (10 mg)........Still feel horrible.....an effort everyday getting to work....living on Xanax (.025) as needed............I am at wits end.....seeing my internist on Wednesday....not sure if I should be back on another drug or if after 10 years, these drugs don't work for me anymore...........Also seeing a stress doctor........very slow progress..........I just feel awful........constant ringing in my ears...even off these drugs.........taking blood pressure which seems to be okay, but my pulse is always 100+! I just wanted to sare my little story.......I am trying SO hard to fight this without meds, but not sure if I can.

Debbie

re: re: I've been there too!
merissabetty
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 03:54 PM

i tried going off my meds!! i latest a week and i was crying all the time, it didn't work for me....i was way too emotional......i am on 40 mg of Paraxoetine. my doctor yelled at me and said why did i do that without coming to him. With Paxil, he said if you have been on it for a long time it is built up in your system and you need to wean off your meds.........with a doctor's supervision...he was right, it is way different for everyone.

i wish you all the luck in the world. i just don't think i am strong enough in this point in my life, there is too much stress, i am starting a new job, i just filed bankruptcy, in a new relationship...............WOW....i am recently divorced about a year ago.

my anxiety has gotten a little better since my divorce.......i hope you have a good day.you are not alone!!! take care, i suffer from Panic attacks sometimes and GAD.

and a little OCD....have a good day

Anxiety
J. Loewen
Friday, May 09, 2008 at 03:05 PM

I've been there. I had my first panic attack when I was in University and I had them on and off for 20 years. 3 years ago they came back with a vengeance as I attempted to face some issues in my life. I took medication for 2 years and am now off of it. I have felt only mild anxiety since and have been able to control it with prayer, meditation and belief in a loving God. Trust Him and hold on. I think learning to control the fear is like a muscle - the more you do it the stronger you get. The medication may be necessary for a while to help us in a bad spot but long term I didn't want to rely on chemicals to feel normal.

re: Anxiety
sos
Friday, May 09, 2008 at 04:42 PM

JLoewen

Thank you.

I agree that meds can only take us so far and there comes a time when we need to try to find some self control. I only take lexepro and am affraid not too now since It seem to help them not get out of control...the xanax I wish i didnt need bit I rarely take it.

I hope that one day I can be like you and find peace in God and his love but I am just not there yet...at times I even doubt him...how sick is that? I deep down know he is there but if I let my mind wonder too much I can get all sorts of what ifs...going...

Have a great week end.

Not alone!
G Law
Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 04:29 PM
Your not alone. Although I am on meds and I've been working on it for some time I struggle to through also. I'm also 39 with two sons and have struggled with thoughts of a bad illness taking my life. My husband ahs been supportive but he can only help to some extent. Really a professional is what I need. Looking in to getting therapy is where I'm at right now, It's finding the right one that is covered by my insurance. Juggling the appoinments around the family schedule is the hardest part. Needless to say....you are not alone and you're not crazy. I know when I talk to my husband about some of my thoughts when I am not sounding rational. He looks at me with sincerety but I can see he is more concerned than anything, He asks me questions to help me see how irrational my thoughts are. I just need to give him and break and find an outside source of help and listening ear. Not alone.

re: Not alone!
sos
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 05:33 PM

thank you for your reply it is hard to take time for therapy but it would help me so much if I could afford it and make time.

I do much better taking ambien because I have good deep sleep and so Im not laying there stewing all night....

My husband tries, but he is sooooooo not like me in this way....he is very cut and dry...and GAD is anything but cut and dry.

Anytime you want or need to talk let me know....

Me Too
UROK
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 04:46 PM

Hi! I am 41 year old, mother of 2. I was diagnosed with GAD over 20 years ago. For years, I was able to manage my anxiety. I have been seeing a therapist forever. Over the last two years my anxiety has worsened. I finally had to go on meds (Zoloft/Ambein). It has been so weird. Most of my friends and family don't understand. They are all caring people but don't realize the implication and seriousness of anxiety. After one incident, I sent my friends a link to the Anxiety Disorder Association of America to better understand. My husband is pretty supportive. I have felt frustrated that the lack of knowledge of the general public prevents understanding of a real problem. I am generally an open person. I haven't told anyone about the meds because I don't think they would understand. I hope the meds will provide me some relief so I can move forward in life. It is good know that I am not alone.

re: Me Too
sos
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 05:23 PM

It really is nice to know that we are not alone huh?? I KNOW the meds will help you...although for me zoloft did less then the lexepro does...and less sexual side effects on lex. I too take ambien and cant imagine life w/out it...sleep has helped me sooooo much to keep a hold on things...not sleeping is torchure .

Thank you sooo much for sharing with me..it really does help. I hope the meds help you and remember the zoloft will take about 1 mo to kick in good.

re: re: Me Too
UROK
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 07:20 PM

Hi! I have had sooo many side effects from the Zoloft. This week seems better. I am curious to see if I notice a difference being on the meds. I am definitely sleeping better. I didn't take Ambien one night because I got home late, that was a big mistake. It is great to know that others experience these problems at this level. How do you feel different being on meds? Do you think people know the difference?

re: re: re: Me Too
sos
Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 09:37 PM

I dont know if others would know ifI was on meds...maybe they would be hopeful that I moved on.....lol

When I took zoloft, it was filled with side effects that I didnt care for ,but the lexepro has been great. I dont know...its diff form person tp person.

I am exercising so that my resting heart rate will slow down....

I do take ambien at night and for now it workd for me....good hard sleep....

good luck to you

jen

I don't know how to get a hold of you...
Kimberly
Thursday, June 05, 2008 at 10:37 AM

...but I am a 34 year old mother of three who has almost mirrored symptoms as you. My husband however is now more sympathetic to the illness so I do have his support. I came across this website purely by accident but if you ever venture back to see if you received any comments, feel free to email me.

kimberlyann586@yahoo.com

I hope that today was a good day for you.

Hello Anxiety
Nikki Chamness
Monday, June 09, 2008 at 12:36 AM

Hi my name is nikki and im 36 years old and i also have Anxiety i have have been living with it most of my life. I was put on med 7 years ago i was taking effexor 75 and doing great for so many years util now I was at work and i started having a anxiety attc. and it scared me so bad i was thinking to my self no this cant be happying to me again. so i went to my doctor and she done nothing it up set me so bad. So made appointment with a new doctor and she up my Effexor to 150 i went back with in two weeks and told her i dont think this is helping i am still having anxiety she did check my blood presser and it was high due to my anxiety so she put on blood presser pills and told me i have not been on the effexors long to see a diffn. she said i needed to be on them for six weeks. Now im just waiting, so yes i know what ur going threw it so hard to deal with it I think to myself why me why do i have to have this. I have children and a husband that just dont understand what going on with and its hard your thinking every day is it going to happen to me again what kind of day will i have today. All i can tell u is be strong get on the right meds not something just going to keep u mess u up if u need to go to a diffrent doctor go. If u need to talk please email me or call me we all need someone to talk to me too! chamnessniki@aol.com or 864-2085063 please use it ! your friend NIKI

re: Hello Anxiety
sos
Monday, June 09, 2008 at 04:16 PM

nikki, thanks for the reply...I know how you feel...my meds work, my lexepro and xanax but I do believe that yoga and meditation could only help...I just never do it. My house suffers to for this condition of mine....laundry sometimes piles up cuz I have no ambition...the best help to me is staying busy so I do stay on the move alot. I also have been battleing this ongoing shoulder problem and it frustrates me which only adds fuel to my crazy already burning fire...

I hope you get some good solid help and know that it id hard...my hubby tries but he has no clue...i tried to email you but my computer didnt work, you can email me...

jenniferwebersalon@yahoo.com

Have you tried alternative therapy?
karmayogi
Monday, June 09, 2008 at 09:04 AM

Conventional medicines are known for their side effects. And alternative therapies work particularly well in conditions such as anxiety, stress, and depression. Music therapy, aromatherapy, yoga, and kava kava (herb) have a 'strong evidence' scientific rating from Natural Standard and can effectively treat anxiety disorders. Please visit the site www.rvita.com for detailed information.

Get well soon.

gad/anxiety/fear
Lynn
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 12:35 PM

i totally understand i smoked for 2 years and had to quit cause the anxiety of worrying about getting lung cancer was making me so upset i couldn't bear the thought of suffering from lung cancer. i had some family members that died from that and i was imagining myself dying too...

i take Paroxetine Hydrochloride 40 mg(paxil) that helps me. i used to take Trazodone and

Prozac those didn't work for me.

i tried so many antidepressants can't remember them all....my boyfriend doesn't understand why i worry so much......Stress is hard for me....i guess life is always stressful for me cause i worry

and make it much worse if i didn't get so churned up and upset.....

i used to be calm and normal, i don't know what happened....i seem to function in life but

become sometimes very shy if i am feeling panicky.......i normally am a outgoing person...

but somedays better than others......Anyone want to chat???? Lynn

re: gad/anxiety/fear
sos
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 12:41 PM

Lynn, I understand 100% and unless you have anxiety you cant REALLY understand the depths...

I always think I have cancer....if my shoulder hurts I think I have bone cancer....it changes allthe time....I hate it!! My sisters do not have an ounce of it and I have enough weight on my shoulders to bear the world.

I hope your having a good day....working and staying busy help me to focus less on myself and more on others.....

jen

re: re: gad/anxiety/fear
merissabetty
Monday, June 16, 2008 at 03:46 PM

thanks everyone in my family thinks i am NUTS...They just tell me to stay on my meds.

I have lived with anxiety every since i can remember i would say since 1996 when the stress of my marriage things were going crazy for me, husband developed an illness and then i just went through a divorce....i am in a new relationship we have been together over a year....my boyfriend supports me tries too...i feel my mom don't understand me she just says keep popping your paxil and journal. Yeah, that is comforting....mom doesn't even want to hear me....she said oh, it is all in your head. my father suffered from a mental illness... i have been diagnosed with anxiety/OCD

sometimes that flares up.... i know i am not mental i am just wired different i don't hallucinate or start talking to myself walking down the street. i am not a weirdo.

i just know i worry so much and worry for the rest of the world too just in case they weren't worrying enough. i journal and keep busy....so, i know i can be normal some day......i just take it day by day......and try not to go postal have a good day

I feel the same way :)
Jill
Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 01:00 AM

Jen,

I am 26. Although I am not married nor have any kids, I feel the same way you do. People who suffer understand. I eat right and exercise, but I still consistanly fear the doctor and dying. Your the only other person I heard of expressing the fear of being alive and being diagnosed with something fatal and having to process that. I makes it impossible to talk to the doctor or process getting tests done. At work I think that everyone hates me. I just changed insurances and will be forcing myself to go the new doctor. I dont have much of a support system, so I am relying on my one person to go with me. Maybe I will be able to go to work one day without thinking everyone hates me.

Jill

re: I feel the same way :)
sos
Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 01:22 AM

oh jill, trust me...Im just like you...I fear the news I have some fatal disease and think about how I will cope with that..if something hurts, its always stage 4 cancer never a pulled muscle.....If I hear someone has cancer I think WOE...I wonder if im next...it make going to the doctor almost impossible for me...like right now I feel like I hve a lump in my neck...so In my sick mind I think I have throat cancer.....ahhhh the joys of being nuts....

Jen

Hi I know just how you feel
Anonymous
Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 06:57 PM

Hi Jen I wrote a whole long note to you and clicked and it was gone. Anyway yes I know what you are saying my two kids are grown I'm 45 and was put on lexapro 3weeks ago I take zanex 2times a day I hate to be on either I am not a pill person but the zanex gives me some relief. I don't know if the lexapro is doing anything yet I also take Ambien to sleep. please write back.

Annie

re: Hi I know just how you feel
sos
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 at 08:11 AM

annie, sorry your long note got lost...I hate that when that happens to me...

anyway...for me the lexepro does work....but I find that I need the xanax everyday....I take it once a day....

I worry and feel anxious all the time....I feel like I need an outlet of somesort but I dont know what would help since the problem lies within me.

It would be good if i went and talked to someone but right now we dont have the extra money for that....

I hope your feeling better..isnt it funny how you can have good days and bad????

jen

your not alone.. ;)
Maria
Monday, November 10, 2008 at 08:01 PM

hey jen

i was diagnosed with a serious anxiety disorder also, and have been on paxil for about 7 months. But today my new psychiatrist told me to stop taking the med and start Lexepro.. he prescribed me 20 mg so lets see what happens. As for your husband not understandig, i can relate. I have a great boyfriend who understands almost everything... almost everything.. he always tell me , " maria , u just need to relax, just like your hubby. how frustrating, only if they new! well anyway i just wanted to say hi and i feel for you.. il let you know how things go once im on the new med.

maria

re: your not alone.. ;)
sos
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at 06:46 AM

maria, i hope you do find some good results on the lex....it works for me. I take 10 mg but i wanted 20 and he said then it starts to effect sexual side effects....

i have been having a hard time sleeping recently and i think it makes everthing worse.....

well good luck and keep me posted...

j