Let me share a cool story as to how I came to know and understand one of life's greatest truths.
Years ago, as my ex-wife and I were putting the final touches (as if we were painting a portrait) on our divorce arrangements, I was being asked to sacrifice yet more time with, and access to, my children. At least on paper.
I can't tell you how much that cut me because I just couldn't fathom why my children (and, yes, I) had to suffer because two adults couldn't work out their differences. Well, I wanted to fight it like crazy, but couldn't really afford to. And I knew in my heart the whole mess just needed to come to an end.
Well, my mother knew of my pain, frustration, and anger and sent me an audio recording of a sermon given by a guest pastor at my parent's church. The subject matter was securing peace by letting go. Man, was this guy reading my mail or what?
I can still remember the exact time, and my location, as I listened to that tape. And to this day it stays with me. The gist of what he said was...
A person will never be truly free until they're willing to give up their most valued possession.
Now, for some that may be money, their business, car, or other material objects; but for me it was, and still is, my children - though they're certainly not a possession in the literal sense.
So as tough as it was, I paid heed to what this guy was saying, knowing my current frame of mind wasn't providing any measure of peace anyway. I let go, let the legal arrangements fall into place as their mother wanted, and shortly thereafter signed the papers.
Well, that pastor couldn't have been more correct. Over the years, regardless of what the legal papers said, I could be with my children just about anytime I, or they, wanted. Yes, that's how it turned out. I mean, because I let go, and my ex cooperated, I didn't have to worry about threats to our time together or not having the time to nurture them and watch them grow. Truly...
Letting go of my most prized possession gave it back to me.
I believe we won't reap the richest rewards in this life until we're ready to sacrifice the one thing meaning the very most to us.
And I'm kind of thinking to the typical panic and anxiety sufferer, the ongoing need to control every aspect of everything that could possibly touch their life is right there at the top of the old prized-possession list.
In that regard, I think it's pretty accurate to say...
Our most prized possession is, well, us.
And, don't misunderstand, that's not a bad concept. The only problem is within the context of control it's not a very healthy ownership arrangement, as opposed to looking out for #1 in an effort to take good care of yourself.
I believe we need to learn to give it up. Yes, I know control makes us feel so secure, but it's such a false sense of security. Can't you see that? No, we aren't going to live our dreams and enjoy a lasting, honest peace until we trust ourselves, and our world, enough to let go. Then, and only then, will we become truly free.



How wonderful for your children to have such a great father! It sounds as if you have been there for them and that is what matters and what they will remember! Good for you!
My sister used to have a saying that went, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was." (It wasn't really her saying, I just remember her saying it) I think that goes along with what you are saying, we need to have faith that we will persevere and make it through, even through our darkest nights.
Eileen
Hi
I went trough a hard seperation 12 years ago at the time I had bought a nice cottage in the suburbs with everything that goes with it...the american dream.
I was a very active alcoolic working construction and boy did I work and drank with the boys.
So what had to happen did the familly burst apart so for a while I lost the smiles of my boy, his cries, is growing up, I left every possesion tat I had to my ex in a heartbeat for the children so they wouldnt go trough more pain that this seperation already cause.
But there was one thing I would not bend on this was the time spent with my son on week-ends after my therapy wich lasted six months I started fighting in court to have soul custody of him, it was a long and costly battle but I'm so glad I didnt ''let go'' for hes living with me since last april.
So I guess the road I trook is different than yours but I am one who believes that letting go on our blood is not a option at all, please dont feel offended all I'm saying is the way I went about it looking back now I am proud to have been like a swiss watch when it came down to our time together so many fathers outhere dont have the right to see there children for all kind of reason's.
I invite you to check out this site www.fathers-4-justice.org