Hi my name is Kaylee Gray,
Im 13 years old and im living with anxiety and have been since August 8th of 2008 so it has been over a year.
just recently i had an anxiety ataack at my house.
The people i live with dont really understand my condition and say i use it as an exuse too get out of trouble. This brings tears too my eyes everytime i think about it, i also suffer from depression and have been to a suicide home for it. i did and still do cut myself, its my only outlet. and yesterday i got told they should just stop caring about me because they dont know what too doo with me. they tell me im only doing this stuff too get attention, they are acting like i want too have this disorder and want too be in depression. i got yelled at because my dad decided he wanted too go to his girlfriends house for the weekend and drag me along, so that weekend someone else had too do dishes, (and i dont even eat there because they complain on how there is no food), so i got yelled at because i wasnt here too clean up after everyone. i spend most my time in my room to stay out of trouble but somehow i do something wrong. i got yelled at for telling my mom that they had been talking really meanly about her, which they had, and she yelled at my dad for it and what do you know i got chewed out for "talking about private matter with someone it doesnt concern". because i had talks with someone in that house that tlod me i could tell her anything, so i did, but then she turned right around and told my dad, the one thing i didnt want him too hear MY personal feelings. and i got yelled at for discussing our private talks. Thanx for reading.
Kaylee
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. It seems that you really need some medical help and therapy to help you cope with what is going on in your life. I hope that you are able to get that. Is there some adult (besides family) that you trust and can open up to about what is going on. That way you can talk about the stress and what is going on without feeling as if you are saying the wrong thing to one of your parents.
As far as cutting yourself, this is not the answer and can be very dangerous. It only takes a small mistake to cause major problems. I hope that you instead try to reach out to people. I know you have, but somehow they are not hearing how much pain you are in, so you need to continue to look for someone that will understand and can try to get you the help you need.
The Anxiety Disorders Association of America has a list of support groups. I know you are young, but there may be someone that can help you out and offer you some support and encouragement.
Please post again and let me know how you are doing.
Eileen
hey thanks for the advice. well since i posted that i became homeless and started doing major drugs really heavily and got placed in foster care. they put me in therapy for the rough past and the rape that happened in december of 2009. they are putting me on zoloft for anxiety and depression and recently gave custody to my grandma and im back at home. but now im not allowed to speak to my mother with is pretty hard. i turn 14 on the 24th. and i believe i have come a long way. i have attempted suicide a couple time since then. but i have stopped causing myself physical harm. my dads girlfriend is pregnant and do in august. the rehab really helped and i stopped useing all drugs. i still go to therapy every monday.and soon they are putting me in family therapy with my father. your comment really helped a lot and i thank you greatly.
I am so glad that you are doing better. It will be a rough ride for you, with ups and downs and good and bad days, but the fact that you have made it this far shows what you are made of! You can survive. It also sounds like you have some good people in your life right now, showing they care and working hard to help you take care of yourself. What a great feeling that must be for you, I know there was a lot of stress in trying to care for yourself through all the bad situations at such a young age and I am so happy there are people around to help you.
You have come a long way in just a few months. Keep up the great work. Thanks so much for coming back and posting and letting me know how you are doing. Please continue to check in. I will be thinking about you and I do care!
Eileen