I automatically overreact to everything which always lead me right into a panic attack. This is actually one of the issues I wrote down to go over with my Therapist tomorrow. I really need to find a way to think before I react. It could really help! I will let you know if I am explained a way to avoid this reaction.
My therapist told me that I should immediately remove myself from the issue that is making me feel the anxiety, anywhere in my home that no one is in. Take about five minutes to calmly rationalize the situation instead of immediately going into a panic. Once I have given myself a moment to go over the issue in my mind and there is no other noise (such as my kids, dogs, or hubsband, even just the noise of the tv) it is to help avoid a panic attack. I have already done this with a situation that arose and I did not overreact...I just needed a moment to think clearly without interruption and it did work 
I think the hard part is just making yourself not react immediately which can sometimes be difficult for me to do. I guess practice makes perfect.
I must say...my Therapist has been extremely helpful with all my issues with depression & anxiety. She has been a true blessing in my life! Everything she tells me to think about or do seems to be so simple just not something I ever implemented.
My therapist also said that it would not be a bad idea to speak to my doctor so that I may take something in addition to my Wellbutrin so that the panic attacks do not happen as frequent.
Thanks for asking!
Have a nice day too 
Thanks for elaborating on internal sources of anxiety, MM. It's been awhile since I have looked at sources of anxiety, and you article brought light to a recurring trouble spot for me. Trying to "conform to some external goal" comes very close
to describing my MO. Sometimes there seems to be comfort in having the external
goal, because having a sense of direction is a good thing. But when the goal becomes a fixation, with no room for direct personal interaction, sharing at a human
level is jinxed- an absolute source of anxiety. There's enough potential for anxiety in human relations without perfectionism garanteeing broken circuits. Thank goodness for give and take. Humaness really can be enjoyable, when we are not too hard on ourselves.
Hi M/M & all,
I'm definitely the Perfectionist (getting better, though)! Looking back I can remember setting standards so high that NOBODY could ever come close. Needless to say, constant failure to meet these lofty goals led to an endless cycle of failure & disappointment; adding fuel to the whole depressive state. Probably the most difficult part of this (or the other Traits mentioned) is to forgive ones self & just BE yourself.
I have an interesting question to all of this: Aside from acknowledging what Trait(s) we experience in our lives, which of these traits do our FAMILY members exhibit? Do their traits feed our tendencies?
My Mom is a major Worrier; almost crippled with worry, fear, anxiety. Although she's 90, she's been that way for the better part of her life. We (my sibs & i0 attribute most of it to the Depression-era Mentality - fear of loss, don't take chances etc.
In answer to my own question, I would answer with an emphatic "Yes"! Mom's worry has fueled my perfectionist ways in that I would fear failure and/or in any capacity.
Again, great article!
Carl
You're getting better at it -- LOL! I don't know if it is a genetic trait or just passed along by example, but worrying runs in my family. I even worry that I worry too much. My therapist always accused me of "overanalyzing everything." And that was merely a byproduct of worry.
But mostly what I worried about (and often still do) is whether I can gain someone's approval. I am 52 -- why can't I just be myself? There are always things you can worry about -- if you choose to. But if you choose not to, it does quieten anxiety.
Donna
That is a really good question Carl
Well...my mother had extreme anxiety yes but mostly schizophrenia so...I am not sure in my case. I think I inherited a lot of phobias. I think I learned to be a "good girl" or "perfect" so as to not...make life anymore chaotic than it was.
My perfectionism probably also arose in school because I was so desperate for a way out of living in poverty...I felt I had to be the best just to...have that chance.
Or maybe I was born this way. :>)
It is a great question though. I do think we inherit a lot of tendencies and traits.
Great to see you...it is like the whole depression gang is here!
Thanks M/M...it's good to be back!
Inherited? Maybe so, however I still believe that we tend more to 'mirror' our parents' tendencies for the most part. Regardless of conditions, we look up to them in an almost God-like stature that the thougt of what they're doing could be wrong is....unthinkable. It's not until later in life that we come to realize that there was something 'not quite right' in those behaviors.
Carl
I am a complete perfectionist! It does cause me a lot of stress both internally and externally. I constantly have co-workers calling me "super-tech", "four-o", "miss goodie two shoes", "Paulie Anna" and making tons of other comments about them not being able to compare or be "up to my standards". This caused additional stress.
I am a ACoA. I was raised to be an actoress! To everyone else, I appear happy all the time, friendly, nice and helpful. Others think that I never get mad and am "sweet". Are you kidding me. No one knows me at all. I am a fake that does not know any other way to act!?!?!?!? It is extremely exhausting.
I ran into that problem when I had to live two totally separate lives. Be two totally different people. At work I had to be in charge, delegate tasks, hire and fire. But at home I was completely controlled by my husband. I think it was this dichotomy that worsened the depression and schizophrenia.
Donna
Hi Rena
I can relate.
I usually have these super high standards and...not everyone in the world appreciates that. :>)
Over the years I have learned to tone myself down some. But yeah so much is a front...underneath I am a scaredy cat pile of mush.
Being myself...still hard to do in some situations.
Thanks so much for sharing with us. It is wonderful to see all you guys here.
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I probably shouldn't even comment (there's that "should" word) because I don't have anything constructive to say. My anxiety might fall into the "perfection" category and "fear of disapproval." But the giant Goliath anxiety my whole life has been weight control. On one hand, it is obviously something I don't want ruling my life, but there it is. Right there challenging me, looking Big and Mean.
My line of attack, which I started this morning, is to switch my focus every time weight/dieting ideas assault me. I'm hoping that soon the switch-over will begin to happen automatically. I'm focusing on enjoying what is happening around me instead. I haven't written down everything I eat for a year now, and that is a major victory. I had been doing it for decades. Counting calories. And recording my weight and how much I exercised that day. Ridiculous, huh? Slowly I am regaining control and hoping to eventualy end the obsession.
...and here I am focusing on it. But really, I am just letting you know where a great deal of my anxiety lies and how I choose to combat it. Wish me luck.
Donna
Btw, I made the mistake of calling my Mom last night and asking her how to stop thinking about weight control. She didn't listen and assumed I was asking how to lose weight. When I went to pick her up for a doc appt this morning, she had a plan all laid out for me. Two plans, to be exact. Two diets. So I could choose. And she prepared me a "diet" lunch when we got back home. I knew better than to even tell her to stop. She's the one who introduced me to the idea that I was too fat when I was 12 and reinforced that idea all my life. I just let it go and stared past her at a spot on the wall while trying to block out the sound of her voice. No one seems to "get it" that I really want to move on to another stage of life that is not concerned with weight. And I don't mean I am going out for breakfast and a double latte w/extra cream in the morning. I mean I don't want to wake up and go to the scale and see whether I weigh less than I weighed the day before. And put "exercise" on the top of my list of things to do. And try like crazy to eat a no-fat no-sugar diet when I really want potato chips once in a while. Oh well, you get the picture.
Donna
Well don Dona, well done.
Have you read the book - Woman, Food and God? I'm currently reading it and thought you might be interested too.
Thank you for the suggestion -- I thought the philosophy was a little strange, especially her assertion at the end. And I didn't agree with all of it. But I love Geneen Roth's column in one of the magazines (Ladies' Home Journal?) She makes me step back and get a balanced perspective on things.
I agree with you. I am trying to use part of the info. from the book to help in my weight loss issues. Thanks for the comment.
Hey Donna
I know you wrote about this a few days ago. Where are you today with this? I understand some...how this obession can be. My best friend developed anorexia when we were both teens and she struggled with this through...decades.
What do you think is at the root of your anxiety over weight? Or have you analyzed this to death already? I don't want to make things worse.
Does it help to talk about it...or not talk about it?
Oh no she didn't!
oh my Donna. I think your mom...doesn't get it. I am so sorry she had a plan for you. ugh.
Just checking in with you.
Hope you are feeling okay today.
It is another "balance" problem. That part of my life has been out of balance for so many decades, it is really hard to bring it back to an acceptable level of consciousness. In other words, not making weight issues the cause of anxiety, a negative self-image, and blaming all my troubles on what I look like or whether I can control my appetite today. Life should be more than this. I need to be spontaneous sometimes.
Slowly but surely, I am making some headway. I had anorexia and bulimia for a while and then just anorexia. I lost to 93 lbs and considered that my crowning achievement at that time. And of course, there were still 5 more lbs to lose. And I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. When looking at what the scales said, I was also weighing my self-worth. The two worked in tandem.
Age is helping me set my priorities in order. Now, I see my body is never going to be perfect. And I accept that (at least while taking Zyprexa) I am probably not going to lose no matter how hard I try. Before, I felt like eating was sabotaging my diet. Now, I realize that dieting was sabotaging my life.