It seems like a silly question doesn't it? Who would want to feel anxious? Does anyone really enjoy drama in their life? Isn't life chaotic enough? Yet it does seem that for some people, drama follows wherever they go. Is it a coincidence? Or do we play a hand in creating some of our own anxiety inducing scenarios? Could it be possible that a heightened sense of stress and anxiety has some addictive properties? In this post we are going to explore some of the character traits of being a drama queen, summarize the reasons why we may invite anxiety into our life and show you how to tame the drama queen within.
You know you are a drama queen or king if...
• You keep finding yourself in relationships with people who you know are bad for your mental health. You are a woman who keeps dating the "bad boys" or you are a man who keeps going after women who are abusive.
• You enjoy trying to save or "fix" other people who you feel are damaged in some way. Or you are attracted to people who try to control or mold you to suit their desires and needs.
• You have been known to throw a tantrum or hissy fit when things don't go your way.
• You can't handle stress without reacting in some way whether it is through drinking alcohol, using drugs, binge eating, self injury or other addictive and impulsive behavior.
• You talk about your problems to anyone who will listen whether it is someone at the bus stop or the neighbor you barely know.
• If there is a pain competition you want to win. Your problems are the worst and you let people know it.
• You tend to play the role of the victim and you let people know how others have been unfair to you.
• You enjoy the latest gossip even if it is about you.
• You tend to exaggerate your problems and/or medical issues.
• When there isn't much going on in your life you look for the drama in other people's lives.
• Your friends and family have called you a drama queen.
How are drama queens created?
Before you go wagging your finger to point out someone you know who you feel is a drama addict, I contend that most of us have a little bit of drama queen in us. Who hasn't over-reacted, felt like a victim, or been in a relationship we know is bad for us? The problem is when we keep finding ourselves in the same situations which cause us and others anxiety.
Here are some possible reasons why you may be more "dramatic" than others.
• You may not have had good role models growing up on how to respond to life's challenges.
• You may have seen a lot of drama in your parent's relationship and grew up thinking that this is normal behavior.
• You may be what is known as a highly sensitive person and you may react with greater emotional intensity to perceived hurts and slights.
• Your mood disorder may cause great fluctuations in your mood and how you respond to stress.
• You may have suffered from anxiety and trauma in your early life and so these feelings seem more normal to you than feeling calm and peaceful.
• You may have had the experience of being ignored or neglected unless you did something dramatic to get people to pay attention to your needs.
• You may be rewarded by others with attention for your over-the-top reactions.
• You lack knowledge of appropriate coping strategies for coping with stress.
• You feel empty and bored when there is not some problem to resolve or crisis to face.
How to tame your inner drama queen:
You may want to know that some drama queens have made a success out of their life. Just look at the lives of Elizabeth Taylor, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Joan Rivers or even Perez Hilton. These are people known for being involved in or creating drama but who overcame personal obstacles to focus on their talents. Yet drama divas such as Lindsay Lohan or Charlie Sheen allowed their personal drama to ruin their success. You never want to cross that line into irreparable self destructive behavior.
• Channel all that emotional energy you are used to investing into drama into being productive and successful at your job, vocation, or exploring your talents.
• Listen to your friends and loved ones when they tell you that you are crossing the boundaries in causing needless stress and anxiety for yourself or others.
• Wait before you react to something which causes you discomfort or distress. Promise to wait a certain amount of time before you act upon your feelings.
• Learn about healthy coping strategies for managing stress and anxiety.
• Ask yourself "Is this mentally healthy for me?" to stop yourself from engaging in activities which you know are bad for you.
• Give yourself an opportunity to express yourself creatively whether it be through drawing, painting, writing, acting, singing, dancing, or other ways to communicate your thoughts and feelings.
• Put on blinders to other people's drama and allow people to solve their own problems.
• Seek out mentally healthy and supportive relationships where you are not trying to save or fix others and they are not trying to save or fix you.
• Allow yourself to enjoy times when there are no crises or fires to put out. Learn how to slow down and savor the moments in your life which are stress-free.
If you suffer from anxiety or any other mental disorder you may have had the experience of being labeled a drama queen. It is possible to become so used to feeling anxious as your normal state that when the anxiety is no longer there, you unconsciously seek it out. Don't let drama sabotage your mental health and relationships. Focus that energy on positive pursuits. Your friends, co-workers, and family will thank you for it.
We always like to hear from our members. Have you ever been accused of being a drama queen? Do you feel that you are addicted to the stress and anxiety that drama creates? How have you coped with this issue? Tell us your story. We want to hear it!
Published On: January 10, 2012