When, for the first time, family members encounter clinical anxiety in one of their own, it can create havoc, misunderstanding and fear. What they see is a loved one, “whom they had always thought they knew,” suddenly and persistently displaying behaviors inconsistent with his or her past. Their loved one may easily become agitated, sometimes angry or fearful, but cannot explain why. They may refuse to leave their home or apartment. Their sleep patterns can change dramatically. If they can sleep at all, it may be for short periods only. Or they are up all night, sleeping fitfully during the day. They cannot sit still or concentrate, even briefly. They may pace back and forth for extended periods. Their usual hobbies cease to engage them. They seem preoccupied in the extreme and show little interest in their favorite sport or social activities and may suffer the loss of friends and friendship. All may even occur in the midst of family and friends

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Although it can be very difficult, what family members must understand and accept from the very beginning is that their loved is not exhibiting these behaviors by choice. He or she is in the throws of a serious brain disorder over which they little or no control. No amount of pleading, cajoling, demands or threats is likely to restore them to their former self. Your loved one may want to respond but be unable to do so. A barrage of advice, demands or threats at this stage may serve only to create a wall between the loved one and those who are trying to help. If this occurs, it will make things in the future all the more difficult.

So what is a family to do when anxiety first appears?

First, regardless of what he or she may say, disabuse yourself of the notion that your primary physician has the expertise and experience to treat your loved one.

Second, as soon as possible get your loved one in to see a psychiatrist that will treat anxiety with appropriate medications and can monitor the affects of these. [Some psychiatrist may refuse to prescribe the most effective medications for anxiety. This is because these medications, if not properly administered and monitored, can lead to addiction. In addition, these same medications have been abused by the drug subculture.] Not to belabor the point, but a psychiatrist who understands these medications may have a significant impact on the degree of recovery your loved one is able to achieve.

Third, loved ones also need your unconditional acceptance. This is both essential and requires substantial amounts of discipline and energy on the part of family members and friends. You must come to accept, especially in the early stages of this brain disorder, that mental illness may be controlling your loved one’s behavior. They are not by choice being difficult. With children from the age of eight years to eighteen and beyond, it can difficult to distinguish between the affects of their illness and teenage angst. Given all this, what they sometimes may need, and which only you can supply, is simply for you to be there for them, close at hand, often without conversation.