I am lucky in that I usually don’t have to worry about a little weight gain because I can easily lose it by cutting back for a few days.  But this winter I just kept putting it on and not stopping to take it off.  

Whenever I’m especially anxious, I eat and drink more.  Thus, if I’m at a party or other social gathering, a glass of wine or beer is the first thing I go for, then the snacks.  I was at a meeting last night and when a basket of cookies was passed around, I grabbed for it.  This was stupid because I hadn’t even eaten dinner yet.  

I got home after nine o’clock and heated up some leftovers, eating a big plateful with a glass of red wine.  Then I sat in front of the TV to watch tennis, and snacked continually until I fell into bed at midnight.  Eating until I go to bed only gives me indigestion, so then it was time for the Maalox.  

To say the least, I did not have a good night’s sleep.  So why do I do this to myself?  That’s what I always ask on the morning after.

The trouble is, if I’m anxious before an event, I eat.  If I’m anxious later about what happened at the event, I eat.  If I’m happy later that the event went well, I still eat.  The fact is, the only time I don’t want to eat is when I have the stomach flu!

The only thing I think can help me now is swim season.  Do I really want to stuff my fat belly into a bathing-suit?  Motivation is what I need to make that extra effort to hold back.  I had thought that getting on the scale would do it, but I obviously need something more emphatic.

Until then, I guess I’ll just keep noshing.