I suffer from extreme anxiety and can not deal well in public places so I only make myself go out a couple of times a week and thats only to the shop and back.

Im 37 and am over whelmed with anxiety which started as depression in child hood, my mother constantly had me at counselors which I hated.

Please just spend time talking things out with her, maybe give her a mobile phone and tell her to call you when ever these feelings occur.

You need to be there 24 hours a day to help, she needs to now she is not alone in this scarey world and that you are there for her no matter what.

I now if I had support 24\7 to talk my panic and anxiety attaks through Id make it through the day without crying.

Pull out all stops NOW, at 14 the action needs to be taken now, teach her to have quality of life.

I feel for you both, but shes so young and I now with love and support she can get better.

You are a great mum, just to have picked up her difficuties shows me you are able and deffinatly willing to be there and help her.

Its great shes got someone for the longhal.

Hello barnpotato,

It must be a scary time for your daughter and a confusing one for you!  First off, make sure you go to a therapist that works a lot with anxiety and uses cognitive behavioral therapy to treat it.  In the meantime, read a lot about anxiety and make sure you tell your daughter that while it is very scary, nothing dangerous is actually happening to her.

Remind her that anxiety symptoms are the result of her body telling her, "there's danger, you need to respond to it!"  The trouble is that the danger is not something she needs to physically fight or run away from (fight or flight response) but is more emotional and cognitive danger.  Maybe you can talk to her about what it's like to transition from homeschool to HS.

Brainstorm with her about what might make it feel safer to go to the school until you can get some help, such as shorter days, arrive earlier to adjust, possibly talk to her teacher (this is a good idea for some people but not for others).

I hope that helps a bit.  Please write back and keep us posted.

Regards,

Jennifer Fee, Psy.D.

www.thestressmasters.com

UPDATE:  I took her to school and told her she needed to go to just 2 classes.  SHe went into a full blown panic attack, I called her therapist and lucky for us, she was available to talk.  My daughter told her that she would rather die or kill herself than go to school so the therapist recommended she see someone immediately and may need to be hospitalized.  SHe was not but now has to homeschool because the school said she can't loose any more school.  What I am wondering is how do you know they are telling the truth?  She knows that if she makes that threat she gets what she wants, it has happened before.  She says  she does not know what she is saying or doing when she is panicked.  She is seeking help but in my uneducated mind she is getting what she wants and not facing this fear.  I know it takes time though, so what do we aim for, she is fine anywhere else unless its strange.

Hi Barnpotato,

I'm so glad to hear that your daughter already has a therapist, I was under the impression that you had to wait two more weeks for your initial appointment.  

Please consult with your daughter's therapist again so that the two of you are on the same page.  The trouble is, when someone threatens to kill themselves, you can't know if they are telling the truth or not, because you are not inside of their skins!  Typically, if someone threatens suicide, we need to take it seriously and take the appropriate steps to ensure their safety.  This may involve calling 911 or taking them to the nearest emergency room.  Your daughter's therapist can help you decide if you need to take this step immediately or if you can arrange for an appointment with him/her first.  However, if you ever have the slightest inclination that your daughter is serious, do not hesitate to call 911!

You cannot lose this way, if someone is serious about attempting suicide, then the hospital is the right place to be.  If they are using the threat to get what they want, then being sent to the hospital is a strong message that all threats are going to be treated like they should be, emergency situations.

Regards,

Jennifer L. Fee, Psy.D., Psychologist

Hi, my name is dawn. I know all about CAT scans and MRIs! How many doctors have you taken her to? I was 18yrs. old and had a seizure, my first one. Right out of the blue. I had all kinds of tests done, I went to different doctors 2nd, 3rd, to see what the difference was in what each one had to say. I also went to different hospitals and offices. I have anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and gran mal seizures. I take 5 meds. and I am now 35yrs. old. I go day by day.

Peace, dawn