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Hi Acorvettes,   Thanks for writing in.  It sounds like you've suffered quite a bit all by yourself, which can be very lonely.  I'd encourage you to not worry so much about being a virgin right now, but focus on the issues that have kept you from dating thus far.  In other words, it's good to walk before you run!   Psychotherapy could help you greatly to both deal with the past issues that you mentioned as well as help you to develop the social skills that you need to date.  Both will help you to sustain a successful relationship, which is far more satisfying that just having sex!   Cognitive Behavioral therapy is useful for addressing social anxiety issues.  Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) is appropriate for some people to become free from disturbing events from the past.  When we have disturbing events that occur, they can get "locked" in our brains with the original images, thoughts, feelings and body memories.  EMDR, which is believed to be similar to what happens during our dream sleep, helps to "reprocess" these experiences and to be free to engage in new behaviors that were previously difficult.   You can look for a therapist in your area by searching the Psychology Today website.   Regards,   Jennifer L. Fee, Psy.D. The Stress Masters