I'm very sorry to read about your situation. I can fully understand why you have taken the decision to try and move, but what concerns me is the underlying reason why this is happening. You don't actually say why you hate your current situation. I'm assuming it may be something to do with relationships, or possibly loneliness, or issues with staff (maybe all or none of these).

Coping with a negative situation can be achieved in many different ways. Your choice to try and move away is certainly an option, but it does raise questions about whether moving will ultimately resolve the issue(s) or whether it merely puts a little time between them developing again? The other concern is, what happens if your transfer doesn't come off?

Another way of coping is a little harder but it's more procative and ultimately will help to build your confidence and self-esteem. I think you need to share how you are feeling with someone. Perhaps start by listing the people you might be able to turn to in confidence (a friend, a counselor, college nurse/doctor, chaplain, etc) and select one. Then go and see them! People generally like to help other people. If they suggest you see someone else, don't regard it as a brush off, it may simply be that they are advising you to see a person who is more skilled.

You sound anxious and depressed. This can result in feeling demotivated, flat and simply awful. You do however recognize this by the fact you've posted here. So, take my advice and take some action. Do let us know how you get on.

Jerry