Thank you for your question and welcome to AnxietyConnection.com.
I am not a medical professional and would not be able to give you medical advice.
From speaking with numerous physicians, one of the red flags of abuse is when a patient asks for a specific medication rather than asking for help with a condition or specific symptoms. In addition, if you have explained to doctors that you took this medication without having a prescription, they would certainly be cautious about giving you a prescription.
Are you talking with doctors and asking for medication and not seeking treatment for anxiety?
My suggestion would be to focus less on a specific medication and seek help for managing your symptoms of anxiety. Doctors may be more helpful if they are confident you are seeking medical help.
I don't Have an answer for you, I find myself in the same boat. I am ignored, and treated as a liar. I have a long list of laundry issues such as PTSD, bi polar, schizo affective....living with chronic illnesses as well. I have been in therapy all my life and have gotten to the point where talking about things does nothing but cause me more grief. I am afraid of the outside world, living in constant scrutiny and dalmnation(damned if you do, and damned if you don't) I also have blood disorders....and am viewed as a derelict of society where no one even looks at me and constantly disrepects me. I am treated like the black sheep of my family and it is a struggle for me to even wake up every day. I have seen MANY doctors and all give me the same answers....and it is very frustrating as I can never seem to get a doctor to see things from my point of view. Instead I am treated like all i am there to do is get high, when that is not the case. I expressed my concerns with my pschiatrist about feeling this way and have even considered the possibility of voluntary Euthenesia because Living with this kind of pain is unbearable and all i feel like is a waste of space and am constantly made to feel like I am a burden. Nobody has ever put me first in their life and always judges me for the choices I have made without even looking in the mirror to see the choices that they have made and how it affected me....such so, they make me a target so that they can sleep at night and forget about what they ever did to me. I am in therapy also, and i can tell you that all therapists are there for you and will always have your back but none the less they are not MD's and they are not the ones that can give you what you need. Yes they are a good tool to lean on as they listen and pick your brain and can help you vent, but if you suffer from a chemical inbalance in your brain no amount of talking will ever change how you feel inside. And if you are already flagged, it doesnt matter how many doctors you go to see after that as this information will follow you forever, and basically I am living with pain in an unbearable measure and i just feel as though no one cares. In fact my perception of life is that people want you to live in their world, be as miserable as they are and want to make you suffer. I am aware of the risks of taking such a drug, that over taking it can a) cause failure of internal organs or b) change your personality or c) be fatal....but as a patient(who also has rights) shouldn't i have a say in the kind of treatment i know works for me? It is unfair if you have exhausted every avenue to seek help with something and to be shot down on every turn...and all i can say is that be careful when you talk to a therapist, they will tell you to express your concern to the doctor, but when you do you WILL got shot down.....it is just better to live with the pain that you feel.....then to express your concerns to someone and have them shrug it off like that just dont care....or cant help you....because that will make you worse....another angle i feel, is that if you dont have good coverage, that might also be an issue, and instead you will be made to feel like they are only helping you to get a paycheck and nothing else. Sincerely, Frustrated.
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