been sick with depression for 30 yrs . worked for 25 yrs. didn't stay in school so i had a shit job standing & bending in a hot warehouse . and freezing cold in the winter .i had to stand all day long on hard cement . i worked for 7 yrs without having to take time off . then in 1985 had a complete nervous break down . had to be put in the hostipal where i was given ect for my depression . stayed there 3 months & then was able to go back to work after about 6 months total . i had been taking xanax  had trouble with bad side affects from anti depressants most of those yrs . i am now on disabilty for the fast 5 yrs. just couldn't get out of bed anymore . was under alot of stress trying to work & taking care of my mother without any help . i finally had to put her in a nursing home & it killed the both of us . after she died i started having severe panic attacks . and they have continued for 5 yrs . i can't get any piece & i'm in alot of physical pain. had to stop physical therapy cause, it was too much brought on attacks .just found out my daugher-in-law the mother of my 2 beautiful grand children 7 & 10 has cancer . i'm so worried about her & my son & the children . don't want to see her like this i don't think i could handle it .miss the kids there my heart . i have a man i've been with for 30 yrs. & i love him very much . i don't know what i'd do without him . he's such a good man & i'm afraid that i've made his life harder with the debt i put him in . but, he loves me & i love him thanks for being there silverfoxoh been taking prozac 40 mg it is   helping alot with depression but, can't stop the panic even with 3 mgs. of xaxax