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Hi Michelle, I appreciate you writing in and your wanting to address this problem.  The first thing to realize is that anger is what we call a "secondary emotion," meaning that there is always a deeper emotion underneath it, specifically some kind of hurt or pain.  However, for many people, it feels less vulnerable to express anger instead of that deeper feeling, which could be rejection, betrayal, abandonment, just to name a few.  Anger is more outwardly focussed, for example, if I say, "Why did you do that!" instead of "I was really hurt when you said I'm a lousy housekeeper," then my focus is on the other person, not my feelings of hurt.   In contrast, some people who are depressed have turned their anger inward. So, instead of getting angry at you, I might blame myself or just say, "people are always hurting me."  Anxiety can sometimes be the result of supressing a feeling altogether, so instead of getting angry or feeling hurt I might say, "Whatever....it doesn't matter", and try to push the feeling(s) out of my awareness which can later turn into anxiety.   I want to encourage you to seek out some therapy.  Therapy can help in two ways. First, if you are acting inappropriately when you are angry you can learn some ways to control your anger level and behavior.  Second, which is equally important, therapy can help you discover what the primary emotion is for you under the anger.  Then you can work through that emotion and once you do, there's a very good chance that anger will no longer be an issue for you. You can find referrals for therapists in your area on the Psychology Today website. Regards, Jennifer L. Fee, Psy.D., Psychologist The Stress Masters