I don't understand why this is such a difficult thing for me. I have had new jobs before, always with the same beginning. I want to turn back and go to my last job. I feel lonely and sick and depressed. I wish there was some way to stop feeling like this. Getting lost on the road anywhere creates a similar panic. All I can think of at my new job is that my car keys are in my pocket and I can leave at any time. HELP!!
Starting a new job is scary. It is normal to feel anxious, most people do – even those who don’t have an anxiety disorder. The first day of a new job comes with meeting new people, learning your job, learning what is expected of you and finding out how your new company wants things done. Even when hired for a job you are quite experienced in, a new job brings concerns about fitting in and completing the job correctly. It is normal to want to go back to your old job, even if it was unpleasant. There, at least, you knew what to expect. Here, in your new job, you don’t. Your day is filled with uncertainty and that causes anxiety.
There are some things you can do to help yourself when starting a new job:
Remember your relaxation techniques. Take deep breaths, find a quiet place to sit a few minutes and meditate, take a walk at lunch.
Keep in mind no one expects you to be great at your job the first day. No matter what new job you are starting, chances are the people around you are going to be patient and give you time to learn the job.
Focus on your strengths. You were offered this job. Whoever interviewed you believed in your ability to do the job. Think about why you were hired and what skills and strengths you bring to the new job.
Talk to your new coworkers. One of the reasons starting a new job is scary is because you feel alone. You don’t yet know anyone. Be pleasant, smile and make conversation, give the people at your new workplace a chance to get to know you.
Remember, this too shall pass. It might take a little time but soon you will know exactly what is expected of you and you will understand all of your responsibilities. Allow yourself time to get acclimated but keep in mind your new job will only be “new” for a little while.
If you can’t seem to get past the anxiety, talk with your doctor or consider seeing a therapist to find new ways to manage your anxiety.
For more information:
The Fear of Change
Managing the Stress of Life’s Transitions
Omg I know how it feels I have been out of work for almost 3 years now ... I'm a hairstylist and I'm scared to death to go back and work in a salon hairstylists in any salon are all mean and they take advantage and they give you the evil look specially if you are a new stylist there ... I have a social anxiety now and I don't know what to do I'm suffering and I don't know from where to start...If I work in any salon it will be the same all hairstylists are mean and rude I've been there and I know what's going on they like to gossep a lot and saying bad things working in a salon industry is not easy you have to be a bitch to fit, but I'm too sensitive person and I can't be like them . every hair salon there is one or two bitches working there but I blame the owners they give them the opportunity to act in a very low way most of hairstylists are mean and rude I really don't know what to do I'm lost ...I really need help
Why not start your own mobile hairdressing business. That way you work on your own with your customers. Advertise in local papers or newsgents or shops. You will be surprised by the response. I think you will get a great deal of satisfaction working this way and if you attract enough customers you could eventually open your own salon and employ like minded people. Hope this helps.
I know this feeling. It's scary!! It is all part of the unknown, anxiety at it's best. The best way I've found to get over the sweats and fear of what's gonna happen is to just do it. I know sounds easier said than done, but once you get there the first time and realize that it isn't that bad, you'll be ok. Bring a map and the phone number with you. Let them know you are anxious about starting, you'd be surprized how many of usout there feel the same way. I do hope this helps. Even a little bit. I do wish you luck with your new job.
I am exactly the same way. I suffer from horrendous anxiety at "change". I recently moved 500 miles away and started a job an hour away, and all I can do is sob on my way to work and push myself to try my utmost hardest to push forward. The mornings are the absolute worst, and it takes Hercules strength to get myself going. When I am at work I am still upset even if it is going well. I worry about future responsibilities and doing everything perfectly. It is exhausting... I have tons of xanax but never take any because I don't want to feel weak. I hope in a few weeks this anxiety subsides, but life is living hell right now. I don't understand why my other co-workers (who also just started) can eat their lunch everyday and seem perfectly fine. I am so envious of them. My anxieties snowball into worries of being institutionalized, homeless, or unloved and full of shame. I think about killing myself daily and I am not sure how much more I can take. I used to go to a shrink but it is too expensive now that I am on my own (just finished college). I am hopeful these feelings will go away...Just remember you are NOT alone and there are others just like you that wish they were in personal contact with you. You have my sympathy and compassion!
Hang in there!
I walk around with my car keys in my pocket to this day; a little over a year ago since I started this new job. I guess I just like the control it gives me.
Of course, I have made friends and love the job, but getting through that anxiety period is horrible. If I can give you any advise, I'd say to hang in there and try to tollerate those terrible feelings. Do something special for yourself after a week, a month, etc...that you are there. Little rewards may help ease the anxiety.
It does get easier. It just doesn't seem so when you are in the middle of it happening. Try to keep telling yourself that YOU are in control. You can do anything you set your mind to. Remember, these people hired YOU because you were the best person for the job and they need you. Maybe us being needed helps with the anxiety. I guess it's all different for all of us. But stick with it. I know your pain.
You have us here to vent with. I will comment back as soon as I read the email that there's been another posting. We are all in this together, aren't we? We can all help each other along the way and perhaps, even figure out why we feel this way.
You are not alone. Maybe that will help. My best wishes are with you.
I just accepted a job 3 days after I got laid off because I was freaking out that i lost my dream job and now am stuck into the real world where I have to job search. I found this job and took it immediately because i need to pay my rent and did not want to go long without a job. I've gone to training for 2 days at the place everyone is nice but i am having MAJOR anxiety about it. I can't sleep at night and I can't relax on the weekends because I am just thinking about the job and dreading going back. My old job had me going at 1pm. which was nice for me cause im a night owl. This new job now has me starting at 8am and its such a lifestyle change and its freaking me out. Everyone is telling me to stick with it but I can't i get freaked out everynight before I have to go and i get sick because I am thinking of it too much, I worry about going there in the morning and feeling sick there and having to leave cuz I am sick and that freaks me out even more. the thing that freaks me out the most is that this job i have i am being trained at right now but i am basically on call for receptionists who call in sick or go on vacation so if they call me in and i go in im there by myself bascially and if i dont know how to do something or something im there by myself and no one can help me. I am just freaking out about everything and I dont want to do it.
Thank goodness for this site. I litterally am going through this exact same thing. It's so nice to know the anxious are not alone. I quit my last job because it was tense there between a few of the employees. Being the new person who just happened to be so anxiety ridden in the first place made that job so horrible. I cried so so so much. I'm horrible at being new.
I just started my new job a week ago, and am having a hard time already. I cried today over one mistake. Then I doubted myself. It just sucks. I know I'm not the only one who cries at work. i only cried the 1 time. I just wish someone could be like, now, you're cured... :P
TY for the posts. It really helped. I was reading this literraly when my new job called to schedule training. If not for this site, i would have let it go to voicemail. ty again. GL to you all. HUGS!
Wow I didn't realise how many people feel the same way I do. I started a job this week worked two days and off today sick with anxiety and have cried for most of the day. I'm dreading going in tomorrow and feel like they've thrown me in the deep end. I'm a beauty therapist by trade but had to give it up as I've been doing it for 20 yrs and need a different career path. At the beginning of the year I had a break down due to bullying and sexual harassment and I'm guessing thats why my anxiety levels are so high. I hate feeling like this its debilitating especially when you know the people that are teaching you the job expect you to pick it up quickly. I just want this awful feeling to go away. I hate leaving the house in the morning and want so badly to just turn around and come home. I take great comfort in knowing I'm not the only one. Thanks for making me feel better about this and I'm NOT alone. Chrissi
I am in a very similar situation right now and am wondering how you have handled it?
i feel the same way. just now i started a new job and i feel worst, i felt this a long time ago with my other past job, i quit that and made a new job, that job i didnt feel any anxiety at all because i enjoyed the company of colleuges and the thing what i did there was easier. Now at my new job, i thought i have overcome the anxiety attacks but i guess it is with me still. I dont know what to do. I wanted to cry all the time, i feel i cant do anything worthy, but i want this oppurtunity for my career but seems im strugling everytime i go to work. i hope this goes away. i feel i will make mistakes all the time and dissapoint my boss. i dont know what to do!!
This is in response to everyone who has posted. I feel I too must add my dilema to the pool. I have a great paying job right now and just want to quit. I constantly feel like I get these jobs that don't utilize my potential and are not what I want to do the rest of my life. I always start out great at a new job. I meet all expectations get along great with everyone and then about a month or two down the line, I start getting really depressed; my co-workers go from great co-workers to back stabing two-faced people whom I don't want to work with anymore. My shift starts in the afternoon and from the time I wake till the time I go in, the apprehension builds and I can't eat and I become really depressed. It feels like I'm trapped. If I quit, how will I survive? It's a catch twenty-two. I'm not doing much surviving anyway if I continue to feel like this every day and continue to go in and work. I feel like a failure at life. I don't understand how these people I work with can go in everyday and do this consecutively for years down the road. If you seem weak and they sense that your uneasy it's like you become a target for their, "behind your back" chatter. I wish I could just go into robot mode and not care when I'm at work. In reality, I want to drop everything and run to the comfort of my home and never leave. If so many of us feel this way, why are there not more support groups out there? What do I do? As to the above response, please don't do anything to yourself- deep down we have to know that killing ourself won't solve anything. I know that terrible feeling of being trapped and the sheer panic that is in you at the thought of another day of this feeling. We can't give up. I have to believe that or I would want to die too.
I am so so glad I am not the only person. Believe me I feel the exact same way. I just started a new job 2 weeks ago and every morning mainly Monday's I feel so anxious to go in worrying how the day is going to be. Work piling on and not being quick enough and mainly making mistakes! Another thing is yes my colleague and manager tell me to always ask if I am unsure of anything but I hate to ask too much incase it annoys them or they think it is stupid or expect you to know. Silly of me I know! But once I am there and getting on with stuff then I find it is not so bad as long as I am clear with what it is I have to do. Feels a little like career suicide knowing you are there to broaden ur experiences and get a proper breakthrough. But really it is alao money I need a proper income otherwise my dream career is to be a full time self employed textiles designer. Ohh well I tell myself just do your very best, don't be afraid of anyone end of the day know one is going to eat you or kill you! And as long as you're focused on the job and trying very hard that is what employers love from you. Don't worry
Just started temping job the girl before left me so many queries, also have to have deadline which I finding hard to make as to much to do I feel I lack confidence and making mistakes and feeling idiot when I get called into office, on Friday 6 people were looking through my job I felt like saying stick your job, I get anxiety attacks, can you help how you got through it, as you case seems fimilar
I just had a question for you as I am just starting to realize all the anxiety I have starting new jobs. Have you ever cried at work? I don't want to be the only one. I was so nervous and doubting myself after one mistake at work. The last job I had was so tense, it kind of made it worse in a sense. I've always been a nervous person, but as I get older (i'm 24) it's getting worse. Is this normal? Am I crazy? I just needed to know. Also, what are the steps you take to make yourself feel better at work?
You are not alone. I have cried at work and even left work when the anxiety was unbearable. My friend who is a lawyer said that she cries at work too sometimes, but she just closes her office door. And she has seen many legal assistance upset too. My sister who is a teacher said that many of her co-workers have cried too during stressful times too. You are definitely not alone. Some people even throw-up due to their anxiety and stress.
Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities: "We need never be ashamed of our tears." I tend to agree with him. Don't be too hard on yourself if you shed the odd tear.
You wondered if there are some "steps" or maybe tricks to help you feel better at work. Here are a few:
1. The best "tool" I was able to "create" to assist me at work, was when I worked on building a very good friendship with a warm and gentle co-worker. My "go-to" person was kind, respectful, and sensitive. We came from totally different backgrounds and had absolutely nothing in common, but we connected with kindness. Developing a relationship with someone whom I trusted, who never betrayed my trust, really helped carry me through the worst. After a few months, he could sometimes just sense that I was struggling, and he'd pull me out into the hall and we'd talk for a while or go for a walk together. (Thank you "Peter"! You were a support-system in the swampy mire of anxiety. And a calming force to talk to when my worries spiralled out of control.)
2. Self-soothing comes in a variety of forms... and I suggest you give each one a try. They probably won't hurt you. I've listened to relaxation cd's at night, gone on walks with friends, written in a journal, tried mediation, relaxation therapy, deep-breathing, massages, cut down on caffeine and sugar, taken sleeping pills (because getting my sleep is vital), read lots of books on anxiety and stress, talked to a counsellor and even got a pet dog that made me laugh and relax a little more.
3. If you're being flooded with anxiety... in that gripping moment of stress. Close your eyes, turn off noises, gently hug yourself, breath as relaxed as possible and turn on a positive "track" in your mind by silently telling yourself things like, "it's ok. I'm going to be fine. I just need to calm down. Slowly relax. I'm smart and bright and this will pass". Don't let your eyes open and don't stop holding yourself and calming yourself down with kind words of comfort, until you've felt much better. (You may just have to do this in the bathroom stall if you're in a busy work place). Sometimes it takes a while to relax and calm oneself. Give yourself that time. And be very cognisant of what ideas you think.
consider this a hug through the internet!!! :) I tried breathing exercises today. I know it will get better, but it will never go away because it is a part of me. Your suggestions definately help!
Raven, You are so right. I have been at the job for two months now and I am doing fine. Of course, first I have to call my past job and ask them if I can go back. I have done this at every new job, believe it or not. Once I speak with them, I am ok to continue on at my new job. Like the fall-back plan is my peace. I am an extremely strong person in general, but this one thing just drives me nuts about myself.
I thank anyone who's responded because I did apply mood therapy to issues that come up on a daily basis.
I wish I could pin point an exact thing that sends me off with regards to a new job....but I am hoping to stay with this one for a long, long time. I told my boss that I will be there for 20 years and retire from there......but who knows?
so thanks again to all that responded to help.....and brightest blessings!
right now I'm at a new job, i did the same thing, i called my old job n asked to go back. Its my 4th day and everymorning i feel like running away, i cry through my entire lunch break and I feel hopless and depressed, and this happens to me everytime i start a job, if you ask me what i dont like specifically I dont have an answer .... I just dont know how to get through this!!!!
it makes me feel better that i'am not the only one that feels this way when i go into work on Tuesday i will have a positive attitude and make sure i ask all kinds of questions so i can learn as much as possible thanks again everyone
I feel the same way. I have been at my new job for 2 months and everyday I ask myself why I left my old job. I always have this feeling when I start a new job. I wish I could get over it but it always happens. I just go in everyday and hope that it gets better. I carry my old boss phone number in my pocket and consider calling everyday and begging for my old job back. I haven't called yet, but I think about callling everyday. ANY ADVICE WOULD GREATLY BE APPRECIATED.
I can so relate to robin and all who responded. I have been unemployed for over a year. I was unjustly "let go" along with others after a company take over. At first, it was a relief to not have to go to the "horrible" job every day. I have had months of applying, some phone/in person interviews but no job. I have had anxiety/depression problems my whole life. It has always been amazing to me how other "normal" people seem to sail through things - like starting a new job - while it brings me such suffering. I had an interview last week and thought the job would be a good fit; the interview went well. If I was getting the job I would get a call on Monday. No call - I was a bit depressed. Then on Tuesday the phone rings and caller id shows its the employer. I freaked out! I couldn't pick up the phone. I thought they were going to offer me the job. Had a major anxiety attack with thoughts of "I can't do this job". The feelings were awful. My answering machine picked up the call and it was to thank me for interviewing and that I didn't get the job. But now I am dreading starting somewhere new. I am single and have to work. I'll continue to visit this site and hope I will find some help for me. Thanks to all who shared - it's very courageous as I find this very embarrassing.
Sorry to hear about your losing your job. Interviews can be really overwhelming sometimes. I too know the disappointment of not being the chosen interviewee and it is definitely a little disheartening. At times like these, I always think of what a therapist told me when I was working on the issue of being lost. She asked me what was my biggest fear of getting lost and I told her that it was not getting home. She then told me something I have always remembered : It's highly unlikely that you won't find your way home. Highly unlikely. She was right and it helped. So the only words of comfort I can pass on to you is that it is highly unlikely that you will never find another job. Somewhere out there is the employer that will hire you. That said, starting a new job is traumatic, but at least getting one will put to rest the stress of not having one. I can not reiterate enough that doing anything for yourself to get through it is so important. Schedule a massage for yourself after you get your first pay check, take yourself to a favorite store, go out with friends, etc. But do something for yourself as a reward. Hopefully after a while, that job will become comfortable for you and you will want to stay rather than bribe yourself to. I know it's difficult but you have done it before; you started and got through your last job. Don't give up and just take it one day at a time. Good luck! Robin
Well believe it or not I actually have felt better all evening after reading this forum! I actually was hungry at supper (haven't been eating much at all) and went out and distracted myself by watering flowers. I love gardening but hadn't been outside to even look at them since my interview! So I think just knowing there are others out there who feel/have felt like this comforts me and helps me put things into perspective. Also I can tell that negative voice in my head to shut the hell up! I know I will be nervy for a while but I'm determined not to be crippled by it. My sister in law had some very smart words..."they didn't hire you because you already knew the job completely...they hired you because they thought you could learn the job." So simple. Good luck and peace to all.
Seems what we are feeling is more or less a natural phenomenon, that goes with being an animal who is put into an unfamiliar setting. I myself has just arrived in Bolivia, where I got my dream job. I cant think of anywhere else Id rather be.
But the fear is there, the anxiety is there. Ive only been here 5 days and am taking over the project from the last guy here. My days are split between great excitement and dread. When I start to think about all the ways I could fail, and that I have been stressed out in other jobs before, it brings me to a complete stop and im ready to jump the first plane back home to europe.
When I talk anxiety I mean complete and terrible anxiety where everything darkens and seem impossible.
We are, of course, overreacting. We have all been here before, and come through. Everyone in the world who is old enough, has experienced this fear, some more than others, us, perhabs more than the norm. But thats because we care.
If we try to focus on our excitement rather than our fears, it will diminish this fear. Fear of fear itself is useless. Lets fear when there is something to fear.
I do things because I believe in them, and because my heart tells me to do it. I follow my passions, and if everything fails, I still honestly know that I was true to myself.
This fear will always be there, but knowing that we are not alone, and that we are, hopefully, living out our dreams, will help. If we focus on that one goal, that one mountaintop, we will eventually get there and put the fears to shame.
Im fearful, yet I live and Ill be damned if Ill allow this fear to control my life.
Dreams control mine.
Hugses and stay strong!!
i didn't think i was going to find anything on the internet about this. i typed in my search, "why do i want to cry everytime i start a new job, and i came across this forum.
i am starting a new job tomorrow, and i feel like crying, and i am so anxious, i can't even breathe. i haven't worked in a year, because me and my husband moved overseas, and we started a business together, but the business isn't bringing enough money home for both of us, so i had to get a job.
my last job that i had in america, i worked there for years, and i felt comfortable, but i remember when i tried to look for a new job, something to further my career, i started the job, worked at the job for 1 day, and left! and went back to my old job!
now i feel this same anxiety like i did last time! i am so scared i am going to do the same. what makes it worse is the fact that i am so homesick, and i don't speak the language here in this country good, so i feel very anxious about this too. i don't know what to do anymore. i feel so hopeless.
i know i need some help, some therapy, but i try to talk to my husband about it, and he feels helpless, as he is going through a stressful time with the business, that he does not know how to help me.
i just want to cry and wish i can make my ticket and go back home. if i wasn't married, i would of done this already.
does anyone have any advice? please help, thanks in advance
Well, first of all, if you got the job, it must not matter if you speak the language. That doesnt help you when you are feeling like everyone around you is talking about the girl who doesnt know the language! Two seperate issues really...if not more.
I moved from RI to TX. Wish I never did, but nonetheless I am here and making moves trying to get back some day. You didnt mention what country you are in so the culture shock alone could send you into therapy! Believe me, even though I am still living here in the states, there IS a culture shock from the northeast to the west!
Suggestions.......Hell....give yourself at least a week. Tell yourself that if after a week you are still miserable, then you will leave. Usually after a weeks time, everything is a little more familiar and you will feel more settled. Or ... tell youself that you are only working until you have enough money for a ticket back. Whatever incentive you need to at least stay and try it out. Truth be told, I HAVE left jobs after one day before and I regretted it. So maybe if you see this as a learning experience and embrace it, you will start to see it differently.
What motivates you? Whatever that is, focus on that in regards to your new job. What's the worst thing that can happen? You go there, work a week, and if you dont like it, tell them all to go to hell. If you go there, work a week and end up staying, you may make some lifelong friends in the process, etc. so really, you are only out a week of your time....or 40 hours.
Can you learn the language? Do you have an interest in that? Clearly, being in a foreign country does totally suck if you cant communicate. Maybe it would be a good idea to get together with a group of english only speaking people and start a class together. Or learn together in some way. Again, you didnt mention what country so its hard to determine what barriers you may come across.
I am glad you found this forum. I am at the job I was obsessing about for almost 2 years now and I love it. Its one of the best jobs I have ever had and I am doing great at it. So yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I did give it a chance and I am glad I did. Maybe the next new job I start, won't be so traumatic. We'll see.
Good luck to you and write back ... let everyone know how you are doing.
I feel for you. I was at a job for 12 years. the only job I have ever had. the company was bought and the new company changed everything that was great. even in this bad economy I made the decision to leave. I had a new better job within 3 days. company car, benefits, etc. A true Blessing. For whatever reason I have begun having terrible anxiety, sadness, and depression. I feel like I just want to bust out crying in the morning. What is going on with this? I truly wish everyone good thoughts and good feelings. Thank you I sincerely thank you for any insights. God Bless
I also just accepted a job, it will be my first nursing job. I will be starting in a week and I could not sleep last night just thinking about it. It seems like it will be a great job, no holidays, nights or weekends. My biggest stress with a new job is that I will not be able to sleep the night before and therefore will be a disaster the next day. I was wondering if anyone else had these sleeping problems when there is a big change in their life.
I know exactly how you feel, i MIGHT have a job offer on the table, and i am already freaking out. The thing is, it seems like a really good place to work with great benefits...not sure why i think like this.
Yes! Yes! And Yes! I just started a new job working at the Department of Social Services which is an upgrade from my past job, however, I am unable to sleep at night because I am tense from worrying. I worry that if I don't sleep I won't be able to function properly and instantly lose respect of my superiors and subsequently fail. Although my bosses are nice, at night, when thought race through my head they become monster-like. Every night while laying in bed, I will think of all the situations that I might be able to take a nap the following day. This is horrible. It seriously feels like a form of torture. BUT, I have gone through things like this in the past and recovered well. This is a temporary experience and once things become a little familiar, it will dissipate as fast as it arose.
You are not alone.
OMG! Thank God I am not the only one. I took a teaching job few days back and I feel the same. It is so embarrasing to confess but it is leading towards depression.
I had two job offers and I chose one of them. Now I'm wracked with anxiety about my choice. I worry that I've mad the wrong chose. I'm seriously considering calling back the one I declined and trying to get it. I can't sleep and I'm driving my wife crazy. I don't know how to make this decision.
why did you pick one over the other?
You have NO idea how happy I am to have found this thread. Today was Day Two of my new job. I woke myself up in the middle of the night with a panic attack....I cannot stand this feeling...
I feel like I need to know everything about the job AND how to perform the tasks right away which, as we all know, is impossible.
I also feel very uncomfortable if I am not doing something every minute I am at a job. There has been some "down time" due to not enough staff/management available to train me. I feel like the Village Idiot if I stand around for a couple minutes watching everyone else work.
I'm going to keep those keys in my pocket tomorrow. It's an awesome suggestion and I really feel it will empower me....unless my keys fall out of my pocket and I lose them....Okay, maybe I'll take an Ativan too before I head off to bed.
I know where you are coming from. Anxiety can comsume you at an unimaginable rate. As the originator of this topic, I can only say that time does heal. I am STILL at the job I was so stressed out about and consistantly being asked to work on new projects by people I don't even really know! Do we all have to be shining stars? Heck no. But the reality of the situation is that as time goes by, things will get better. A year is a long time, but it passes before you know it. Ask yourself, if a friend was telling you all this and all things considered, would you tell them to stick it out or bolt? I have bolted on my share of jobs after the first day, week, etc. Was it a mistake? Sometimes. But the fact is that there remains jobs that I left that I will never know if they would have changed my career path because I left them before I gave them a chance. My mom always said to me, "work a job a week and then after that if you still don't like it, look for something else". Wise words. Because at the end of a week you are familiar enough to make it feel more comfortable. I can't tell you to do this or that because that might not work for you; I can only tell you what helped me. Number one big thing was to always have my car keys in my pocket. It gave me that extra added control that I needed. For you maybe it's spending a little money on yourself when you get that first, second, third, paycheck. It won't be the "cure-all" but it will help.
What will my next new job bring me? Probably more of the same. But I know that I have conquered this particular bout of anxiety and I can conquer any future ones too. So can you.
Good Luck, Robin
I am so glad that I found this forum. I start training for a new job in 2 days, and I am absolutely terrified of the change. I quit a job that I held after 32 years to change career paths, and the change didn't work out as I had planned. The current job I am in, I am not making much money, and feel stuck, but it is close to home, so no commute. This new job offers more hours, doing something I like to do, but there is a 45 mile commute. It is on an easy, major thoroughfare, quick on and off. But.....I also have MAJOR anxiety driving far places, places more than 30 mintues form my home. My family is helping me get through this, saying I NEED to face my fears and do it, and once I am there I can make a concious decision whether or not this is right for me, but I at least have to give it a chance. I am obsessing over whether I will make enough money, the drive, etc.....is it the right choice.....and I am waking up with major panic attacks in the morning..and I haven't even started yet!! Can someone give me some advice? Thanks....
I would just like say Thank You to everyone, I feel alot better knowing that I'm not alone in this predicament. I am about to start a new job in three weeks and I am already having the anxiety from just thinking about the anxiety I'm going to have when I start. I am 26 and about to go from a junior to senior position in another company. I have been waiting for this opportunity for so long and now that's it's finally come along I'm actually afraid. I'm worried about wether I'm going to meet my new companies expectations and wether I can actually handle this new position. This will be the third time that I'm starting a new job and from the previous two experiences I know it's not going to be a pretty sight. The biggest cause of my anxiety if the fear that I'm going to fail or that I'm not going to understand what I need to do or meet any of my targets. I go to bed with knots in my stomach, wake up in cold sweats and cry all the way to work, I once even pulled over on the side of the road and cried. I'm not looking forward to that. I have to say that after having read all your stories I feel a sense of calm knowing that there's other people out there that understand just what I'm going through. Goodluck to all and Congradulations on your new jobs.
Something tells me you are going to do fine at your new job. You have gotten through two "episodes" of starting a new jon and did well enough to not only be considered for a more senior position, BUT you were selected out of all the other applicants! Congrats to you!
I think the one thing I always forget when I get hired that I was the best candidate. Instead, I just spin myself into the ground with worry and concern instead of enjoying the success. It doesn't matter to me that I have mastered every job I have ever had or that I have worked very hard to get where I am today. It's a new experience and I have anxiety because of it.
Mandy, you can do this. Yes, you will probably have anxiety over it, but you will get through it. The more we can overcome our fears and anxiety, the more control we give ourselves.
Good luck and much success with your new job.
I just looked at the date I started this thread and it was my first day of work, 2 years ago. Wow. Two years. Has it gone by fast? Definitely. At the time though, it seemed like a week lasted 5 years. Now, the weeks go by and I always find myself amazed at the difference between day one and now.
Can you overcome this fear/anxiety? Absolutely. But it's never easy the first few days/weeks. In time, I established relationships and worked hard. The one thing that the anxiety of starting a new job couldn't take away from me was my work ethic. Sure, I was nervous and scared. But eventually, enough time passes where the anxiety lessens and the belonging begins. The familiarity breeds routine and we just become much more comfortable with our surroundings.
One day you too will read this thread again. Maybe you will have been at your job for 2 years or maybe you would have left that job for another. By reaching out and writing, you are taking one step towards helping yourself. Each and every step forward is an achievement. Just keep moving forward and keep making progress.
I too just took a new job after a job of 11 years approached it's downsizing dateline.
I really miss the people and knowing everything.
New job is in same field, but very different and I am very anxious. Want to run away, but I'll lose everything.
Please tell me it gets better.
Hello I know how you feel. It is hard. I was in a job for 16 years and stayed in same field with new company. Not what you want to hear. But, time seems to make things better. I truly wish you well. Anxiety is not pleasant.
It does get better. The feeling that you would lose everything doesn't help either...it makes you feel powerless. Just realize that what you are doing is for the greater good and is a sacrifice that will pay off in the long run.
Email us back in a few weeks and let us know how you are doing. I bet you will find that you are more comfortable and it has gotten easier.
Great Advice. I have recently started a new job. Although I was not that anxious when beginning i have become extremely anxious on starting. I am only working directly with two people who have not been welcoming, have been whispering and giggling, not including me in conversations. I pulled one of them up and asked her if i had upset her. She just made out i was being paranoid. Not wanting to upset anyone in my first few days i said sorry and sorry if it seems neurotic. It has not helped that everytime someone comes in the office they are nice as pie to them and as soon as they leave they rip them to shreds. I know they are in the wrong but as the newbie i feel lost.
Hi Robin! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about your experience. I am experiencing a very similar thing. I am a social services worker and I work with people with disabilities. Of course there are ups and downs to what I do, but I find my work so interesting and complex... and there are parts of it I love. I started out my career working for private non-profit corporations... My heart was totally in my work, but the opportunities to be paid well (and by well I mean enough so that I can work one job not two and pay my bills), have good health benefits, opportunities to further my education (a huge dream of mine is to get my Masters in something related), and to advance. Approximately 1 month ago I accepted a position with a county agency that serves people with disabilities. This is such a big step in my career and I am so proud... but so scared! This particular agency funds every other program for people with disabilities in my area. They are a key player in my field... and if I do well at this job I will be able to take this experience to whatever positions I move onto and it will mean a lot to them that I succeeeded there. It will also mean a lot to me.
My fears are that I'm not tough enough for this job... I'm going to see some sad things, but really nothing I've not seen before (I've been working with the same population for 4 years)... there will also be a lot of paperwork and deadlines and I'm afraid I won't be able to get it all done. I'm afraid I won't be able to help people as much as I want to... But at the same time, I will actually have the opportunity to help a great deal of people and to touch their lives. I'll also be able to learn a lot... and that will help me in the long run.
The truth is- I WANT to do this job! I don't want to quit... But I want to be able to be confident that I am making the best choice for me. I could see that this particular role may not be a long-term fit for me... But I'm certain I can do it, and there will be other opportunities within this company that may come up and if I'm rocking at my job I'll be that much more likely to be offered those positions. I just need to believe that i can do this, I won't always feel terrified... and also that none of this is the worst thing in the world. I can do it!
First, Congrats on your new job! I am glad you shared your experiences with everyone and that you seem to be approaching it with a positive attitude even though it may be a little scary.
Working for the government, state, federal, county, is definitely a lot different than working in the private sector. But you will get use to it. You have a huge opportunity to do some good work and it sounds like the experience will definitely be advantageous to you.
My mom, who is a great support to me, always says this very simple thing to me when I am faced with starting something new...."Columbus took a chance". So then I think to myself, "Well, yeah, and I don't have to get on a big wooden boat and cross an ocean to do this thing, so Ok, I can do this."
Good luck to you on your first day. Remember to reward yourself for your accomplishments, (like making it thru a week). It helps.
Write back and let us all know how you are doing...
I know how everyone feels. I just started a new job at a company that is considered one of the best companies to work for plus my brother and siter in law have both worked there for years and they love it, but I am still haveing huge panic attacks. It has been like this with every job I have had since I graduated from college, but as I get older it gets worse. Its even worse with this job because I a shift that isn't great and my schedule doesn't allow me to spend much time with my family and girlfriend becasue when I am off everyone else is working. I have been told that I only really have to stay in this position and shift a year and the I can try to move to another dept or shift, but the thought of that doesn't help either. I already suffer from clinical depression and genrenal panic disorder and I am taking meds, but again nothing seems to work. I wake up every morning shaking and it feels like someone is standing on my chest. My family tries to give me advice and I try to think of techniques my thearpist and I have worked on but again nothing. I feel like the only way I feel ok is if I am in my house and not working, I don't think it is agoraphobia becasue when I was laid off I could leave my house and functional normally and didn't feel high anixety like I do now. I feel like everyone around me can function normally as they are a little nervous when they started their jobs, but not to the extent that I do. I want this to end and wonder how much longer I can live like this, like everyone here I wish I can make it stop for good.
Gosh I can't believe I found this discussion! I am going through the same thing right now. I have been unemployed since June of 09, got a job in February, hated it and left in May. Highly unusual for me as I tend to stay at my positions for years. Yes, I tried to go back to my old job and was even offered a position but it was just too far away. I could not do that commute again. I have been applying for jobs everyday, staying home with my kids, whom I adore but I am not the stay at home mom type. I go on an interview, get an offer the same day and boom, the anxiety attack sets in. Crying, sobbing, doubting, panicking. I am a strong person, I really am but I became paralyzed as soon as I heard them offer the job. I feel like I can't do it, like being out of work a year made me lose my abilities. I absolutely HATE this feeling. I need this job, there is no reason I should not be able to take this job and do this job but I feel like a 5 year old kid the way I am acting. I woke up at 4:30am this morning, not a good sign as it means the panic is beginning. I am on medication for anxiety which I was not when I took the job in February. I am hoping this will help but this is absolutely debilitating. If I take this job and quit then everyone will know it's me who is unable to handle the job and I will look like a fool. The first job truly was not a fit although the anxiety probably didn't help but I could not stay there. The boss ran the office like her own little kingdom and if she wasn't happy, watch out!!!! The whole office became debilitated until she was happy again. She was a backstabber and threw people under the bus left and right. Sorry, I don't work like that. I have a child with special needs and am running into some possible childcare issues so that is not helping at all either. It has been truly helpful just to know that others feel this way and I am not alone. I really thought it was just me!
Well misery truly loves company! I turned in my 2 week notice yesterday and could cry at the drop of a hat. I am a very strong person and this totally took me off guard. The anxiety started with the actual interview and has snowballed since accepting the job. It is my dream job as a nursing instructor but I have tons of doubts since I have had a desk-type nursing job for 5 years. I feel like I have forgotten everything (although I know that's stupid to think). I have changed jobs off and on for the past 20 years so I am thinking how crazy to be 40 and going through such anxiety. I am a good 1 on 1 teacher, however I have the added anxiety about that first public speaking in front of the class. I can trace my anxiety all the way back to the first day of school when I was 6. That sick old weepy please let me run away now feeling everyone is describing. I am just happy I did a search on this subject and realize I am NOT alone in this. I plan to reward myself weekly until I get comfortable once again..I really liked that idea. I may try a mild antianxiety med to get me through the first few weeks. I have enjoyed reading the updates and hope to provide a positive one of my own. Thank God for the internet is all I can say!!
I totally feel your pain! I wonder if it's a 40 year old thing cause I am rapidly approaching my 40th and THAT is causing great anxiety as well!! I have to tell you this morning I woke up and felt great. I spoke to a lot of people and my mom got real matter of fact with me. She said "Stacy, why are you acting like you ARE GOING TO JAIL?, it's just a damn JOB" I was like, "my god, she is right, it's just a job, I am not an indentured servant, I am not reporting to jail AND if I try it and it doesn't work out, or I can't work out the childcare issues I am having, then I can LEAVE ANYTIME." Something else WILL COME UP. Yes, jobs are important and people need them to survive (like me) but you know what, as someone else said to me, they hired you because they see in you what YOU DON'T see. We need to have faith in ourselves and LAUGH at ourselves a little. So I wrote IJAJ (it's just a job) in small letters on my hand. If I start to think about anything job related I look at it and smile. It's just a job and we have to remember that we need to give ourselves a chance. Don't look at it as they are testing you or giving you the job to be all over you. Look at it as you have a chance to start something new and exciting. And when all else fails, fake it till ya make it!!! Good luck to you, it's gonna be fine, you will see!
I know exactly how you feel. I am on day 2 today and I am ready to throw it in. I feel so sick to the stomach. I have been on a disability support pension for 6 months. Going back to work has totally freaked me out and I am not coping at all. I dont know what to do
I am on day 5 of my new job and feel so ill. I manage to get to sleep at night but then wake up about 3am all sweaty and then i usually am sick. I feel like i cant breathe and get all shakey. When im at work i constantly feel like crying and just sit and look at the clock all day. Please tell me that this gets better. Im ready to give up before ive even properly started. Im just not adjusting well.
I recently accepted a one year Mat Leave position in the same hospital. The job that I left was a cushy easy job that did not have much variety. So when this job offer came up I applied and got it. I have been training with the girl 2 days a week and have only had a total of 6 days training.
I feel like I have made the biggest mistake ever by taking this job. It is soooo demanding and so many things coming at you at once (It's an Admin Assistant job for the Director). The girl training me is doing a terrible job and she seems bossy when she tells me things. At this point I am just wracked with anxiety that when I sit in front of the computer screen my mind goes blank and then she there behind me barking orders on what to do. I want to quit and go back to my cushy job, but that would look bad since it is within the same organization.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I don't know what to do.
I completely understand and it's nice to feel like you're not alone. Thats what happens with anxiety, you feel like youre the only one sometimes. I have worked and left jobs after about a year or less because I felt I always needed a change and I couldn't keep up with working there. I have worked in customer service my whole life and it is very difficult for me to socialize with people and go into work everyday feeling good about myself. I was diagnosed with social anxiety when I was about 15 and I am 23 years old now. It has become very debilitating. I feel constantly judged by others and am horrible with eye contact. I have a good job now and I haven't been in for awhile because of my anxiety. I feel like nobody understands because I try really hard to hide it but I have no energy any more. And therapy doesn't seem to help a whole lot, it just makes me feel even worse. I just feel like sitting at home and hiding from the world. I have tried different medication and it made my anxiety worse. I am currently on Cipralex to give medication another shot, I dont wan't to loose my job but my health is more important. I just want to feel normal and be happy
I start a new job in 5 days and I am so nervous. I have been out of work for 2 years. I have been interviewing for 6 months and was lucky enough to be hired a few times, only to not go to the job. :( I get so scared, and just tell myself, well, it was only a part time low paying job anyway. This job is actually a good job and an ok paying one as well, and I know I have to go, I cant make any excuses. I have read all these replies and they have helped a great deal, but I still do not want to go. Being the "new person" not knowing anyone, not knowing how to do anything, getting lost in the huge building, it just goes on and on. I hate the unknown. I should feel lucky and excited to have been hired out of so many people, but I feel so much pressure and sick to my stomach. Having a job, meeting new people are all positive things, why do I hate it all so much?
I'm in the same situation...2nd day on the job after 17 years with a former employer. Left because the stress was getting to be too much for my health. Major anxiety ... sometimes panic attacks. I'm 40 years old with a wife and two kids, and here I am in this brand new environment with so many new faces and so much to learn. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like an idiot. My coworkers seem friendly and supportive, but I have to admit that I'm a worrier by nature and so the anxiety and pressure (self-imposed) made me break down when I got home from work the first day. I cried like when I was so scared as a teenager when I was in junior high. I felt hopeless and helpless.
Today it was better...starting to learn and CATCH onto new information and procedures. Still, it's a big change from where I was. I'm so out of my comfort zone. I do know that things will get better with time and effort...but in the meantime, I'm still scared...worried...
Glad to know that I'm not the only one, but that's only slight consolation. I wish I could feel better quicker.
Hi ... I know exactly how you feel. I am into my 4th day with my new employer after being made redundant. I was with my previous employer for 12 years and was happy. I too have major anxiety attacks and feel overwhelmed with my new environment and procedures. I wake up feeling miserable every morning and it makes my day horrible. I am the type of person that needs to go to work knowing everything and is a worrier by nature. Have not been able to break the ice with my coworkers yet and many have been there for a long time. I was about to leave after the first day but a good friend has been really supportive which gave me the strength to carry on. I am terrified of going to work and feel like the village idiot everyday.
Glad I found this forum and realise that I am not the only one having these anxiety and stress about being in a new workplace
I DO hope things get better for you quickly
I feel the same way!! I moved to another state and for the first time in my life have not worked for 6 months. I have gone on about 30 interviews, finally found a seasonal position that sort of fits my schedule.
I could not sleep last night, I start tomorrow. Then I will have to get up at 5:30 am., take my son to daycare (I am a Widow), and the daycare will have to pick him up. I am having so much anxiety, I am having a hard time breathing, stomach issues, etc..it feels right but not really...especially because after Christmas I will be in the same boat, looking for a job!!
I just wish i had some type of "robot" job..where I can go to work after my son gets on the bus, and something permanent.
I don't want to say no to this job, but I am scared I will not want to go one day and leave them hanging..I just have too much anxiety.
It is a little bit of high pressure and I wonder if I should seek something else..
Having said ALL of this, I used to have to teach and be in front of a crowd..so that was anxiety, but it was a fun, challening anxiety I handled.
This is more of a "nightmare", how is this going to work, bad feeling anxiety..because I know something is going to happen, with my son, etc..where I may have to leave. It is not even in my field, so it is all new, doing something I am not really interested in.
I know how it feels....definately. I have been at the job I originally wrote about for 2 years now and am doing great. It's always a scary thing to start a new job, nevermind in a new field. BUT, you have to remember why you took the job in the first place. I know when the anxiety feelings take over, nothing else matters. I think the biggest relief I had during my transitional time is to tell myself that I am not "married" to that job. I can certainly keep looking for something else while working. Nothing says you HAVE to stay working there forever, especially if the job is "disposable". Go in, work, and don't invest too much of yourself. I have found that when I did that, I found myself really liking where I was. Wierd how that sometimes works. You know what? You are going to do just fine. So will your boy. Kids are more accepting and flexible than we give them credit for. Once a routine sets in........everything will become easier. Never give up looking for that job that will fulfill you and make you happy. But just like relationships, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Same thing with jobs. Good luck!
I am so glad I have found this page. I too have recently started a new job; I have been there for two weeks. I have been starting to not sleep at night and having pretty bad anxiety. I am in a different work filed then what I have usually done. I have always had anxiety when starting new jobs. I know in time it does get better, but it is hell to go thru and seems to get worse as I get older. I really thought I was alone and wondered why I could not control this. It makes me feel weak. I can usually handle most stress well, (except job stress).
I am sorry there are so many who are also going thru this, but I am glad to know that I am not alone. And in that I am feeling better already. I think this is going to be a good job and I don’t want to quit before I even get started in learning it, which is something I wouldn’t do anyway, I usually tough it out until I find something else. I told my new boss I was looking for a job I could stay in until I retire. I would hate to go back on my word. I need to learn to control the anxiety somehow so it does not take over my life again and become ill.
I would like to share with you something I was told once, that when some people have change in their lives, it actually changes the brain chemistry somewhat. Sometimes it may be best to get on an anti-anxiety medicine for 6 months. I may do this if I get to the point I am not sleeping at all again or the anxity does not let up soon. I have also found it is very important to try and keep your normal routine after work and on weekends to lessen the anxiety. Sometimes that is not so easy to do. I also find working out usually helps as long as I am sticking to my routine. I love the idea of rewarding myself evey week, that is a good idea and gives you something to look forward to. Good luck to all who come searching for answers. I wish I had a cure. But the only cure is time (or drugs, but use carefully and with your dr advice).
I just started a new job after 16 rewarding years with a great employer. There were no problems with my previous job, this change was just a good promotional opportunity that I felt I couldn’t pass on. Being not one one for change, guess what, after the first day on the new job, I’m feeling the same major anxiety I read about on this forum. Coming from an extremely comfortable work environment where I was the “go to” person, knew the organization from top to bottom and had many friends, now I just feel lost and out of place. There are no red flags at the new place and everyone seems friendly but I have these feelings of buyers remorse. I found myself staring at the clock waiting for the day to end, something I haven’t done in many years. I know things will change in time - until then thank you all for sharing your thoughts and advise.
I'm going through the exact same thing as I'm typing this. I just started this job a week ago. Today, I actually did cry at work. I guess it was just nerves, but i felt awful. I think it is due to me being unemployed due to my husband being in the military and I was out of work for almost 2 years, of my own choice. I guess I forgot how to be with other people. I'm also from a really small town and now live in Kansas City where there are so many people that I just don't know. Maybe it is intimidation, or maybe it is just me being scared in front of people I don't know.
Anyhow, enough of that rambling, today I cried at work... I've only been there a week. I just started doubting myself after one mistake. When i first started there I just had so much nervous going on. Then, little things would make me embarrased. Sometimes, I was so intimidated. I made myself sick. I think it is due to our confidence levels as far as work goes.
I think it is only natural, but some of us are more nervous and intimidated by various things. We just have to push through it to get over it. Once you are comfortable enough with your job, you'll be fine. Just keep fighting the tears!!! You can do it!
Awwwe, Im sorry it got so bad you cried at work. Was it in front of anyone? Once I was called in by my bosses office for a meeting. I was a very good employee there and it was time for my yearly evaluation, but instead of getting the small raise I was hoping for, I was told all the employees have been recorded during phone calls and I was not doing very well being persistent. But even though I was very nice, friendly and my sales numbers were good and where they were supposed to be..I wasn't being "pushy" enough, so I was told I have to take sales classes and it involved traveling and such....well, all that threw me off guard and I felt like I was being attacked and started crying, Im not even emotional or a "crier" and I so tried not to cry, but I did, for the whole 30 minutes and couldn't stop...I ended up leaving the job a short time later. It seems like I only take jobs within my comfort zone and surround myself with people I feel comfortable with so anything outside of that I don't do well with. The new job I start in 5 days seems like a good fit for me....but they even told me that sometimes people just do not come back, and that worries me too.
It started off as me walking casually to the bathroom. Then, I guess I went in there and they thought I left because when I came out they were all looking for me. Then, they kept asking me questions which just makes the situation worse. Then I started crying. When I get super anxious, I start kind of semi-hyper ventalating crying. Then, I was told I could go to break after they tried to make things better by being kind. So, I went to break and cried a bit. Then I stopped. Then i came back to work and I got pulled into the office because they felt I thought someone was mad at me, which I didn't. I was just embarrased and stressed because it was a pretty big mistake, my first big mistake.
I am one of those people, when i cry, I just want to be left alone and not babied. It just makes me feel embarrased, so I cry more. That's what kept happening. It was crazy. A lot of my anxiety is because I've never had to be new before. I am from a really small town and I left that town to move to a college town with a lot of people because my husband is in the army. I am a bit of a shy person anyway, as far as talking to someone first. I guess I am sort of anti social, but being away from people for a year and a half just made things worse. I went from being just around my husband and family to lots of people in a big city. I had a job at a bank for a month. i quit because there was so much tension there between employees (not me) that had worked together for a while. It just made my anxiety worse. It kind of made everything that much more difficult. Sorry I wrote so much...
Now, I work at a collections place and I like it, but there are just so many people and it makes me so nervous. I'm starting to talk a little bit more, but it's like my throat closes up. It's weird. They are really nice and trying to get me more talkative. It's just hard. I just want to do good at my job and not cry or hyper-ventilate. It's embarrasing more that anything.
I have experience high levels of anxiety ever since my first day of school. I remember sitting on the couch waiting for my mom to take me to kindergarten and feeling so scared and I couldn't stop crying. This continued everytime is was time to move to the next grade, I would become so anxious that I would not be able to do the grade 1 work, or the grade 2 and so on. In my adult life this kind of anxiety and dread of going into a situation such as a new job where I do not know anything or anyone...when it is something unknown to me my mind seems to take over and make up images of really bad things happening, like I won't be able to do it, people will see my anxiety and think I'm weak etc. I'm 29 now, married with 2 children. I have overcome this feeling many times in my life. I've changed jobs several times, each time the anxiety and worry was almost unbearable. I got through somehow but it never seems to get any better each time I do it, I still have so much obsessive worry and high anxiety. I'm leaving a job that i have been at for close to 5 years and feel that I have gone as far as i can with the company. now I will be going to a position that is a very different role and will have a very different work environment. It will be slightly better pay and even though I have been dreading the decision i feel that I need a change. i hate this feeling and I have a really hard time accepting the fact that this anxiety is something that I have and not something that defines me as a person. I feel like I am not a good Husband, Father, Friend or employee when this anxiety takes over!
Hey..back again! Getting into a govt job takes a long time and my first day is tomorrow, July5th! OMG...the nerves are starting and I can feel myself obsessing about everything that can or could possibly go wrong.......I dread meeting new people, new expectations, and just having to start over again in a new job. I was fortunate enough to be able to take off nearly a month between jobs and I did enjoy the free time. However, now it is time to "get back to the real world." I think the uncertainty of not knowing what is expected of me makes me nervous...I seem to forget that I'm not going to know my job the first day...that's why they will train me. lol....I try to look at the positive aspects of the new job; double my last salary, much better benefits, retirement and the abililty to advance there. But I still have fears that are irrational. Luckily for me, I couldn't turn down the job, because of the better position, so I haven't spent much time wishing that I had stayed at my old job. Anyway, just wanted to share that tomorrow is my BIG DAY! Pray for me!!!! :)
Good Luck Snoop. You can do it!
I feel the exact same way and am happy I found this forum. Constant anxiety, can't sleep or eat, mind racing all the time. I am actually getting a multiple wammy...starting a new job in something new (sales) after lengthy unemployment, relocation back to my hometown, career transition from my dream, recently turned 40 and dealing with the sudden and shocking death of my Mother in front of me. It is comforting to hear that I am not alone in many of the emotions I am feeling.
Boy, can I sympathize with all of you. I lost my job of 18 years where I worked with my best friend -- he was the employer -- and I have known him for over 25 years. The industry has changed and I was the last one beside himself to be there.... I recently was offered a job I applied for and all I could do was cry like a baby! I talked with my buddy and cried, I am very close to his kids too and talked with them and cried, cried, cried....! Am I anxious about the new job or just haven't mourned the passing of my "old life"? I haven't cried like this forever -- I probably was 10 -- I'm in my mid 40's. I know we will have our friendship, but I will really miss the great times we had! I have offered to work some weekends with him and his kids -- hopefully that will help. I even sent him a long e-mail about if he wanted me to come back I would in a heartbeat, eventhough I know it isn't possible -- couldn't afford to pay me. I am glad I am not the only one in this position -- thanks for sharing you thoughts too....
I too never thought there was anyone else like me out there. Here I was going from a "disposable" job to one that was actually in my field and I still wanted to go back and work in the deli after day one. It was horrifying and scarey and I did cry every night.
I stayed at the new job and eventually the tears stopped. I settled in and I love my job and co-workers. But for a few of us, it comes with the expense of anguish, pain and fear first. I wish I knew WHY. Sure, I always know it's going to happen when I start a new job. But looking back, I would love to know the root cause.
Maybe I will find out and maybe I won't. I guess the best I can hope for is to prepare for it and know that I have been through it before in the past and things turned out well.
I started this thread over two years ago when I felt hopeless and afraid. I wrote my first words on this site through tears. But today, I am still here at that new job I started and I am glad I gave it a chance. I hope you all find your way through the anxiety and fear. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. We are all human with fears and faults. We can't always be a pillar of strength; sometimes we all need to lean on someone else's shoulder.
Thank you Robin! I have been at my present job for 28 years! The business is suffering and I made a jump to a new company in the same field. I am suffering serious anxiety and know that I will face more during the first months there. I am 51 years old and they persued me to work for them after seeing my bresume. It has all happened so fast and I have anguished over what is the best thing to do. Stay at my present job and wait for the bottom to fall out, or start with the new company that is successful. Leaving where I have been for all these years has been so upsetting for me. I have asked about everyone that I know what I should do. I get the same response from most that its my decision. I have made the decision to change jobs because the future looks better. But its the unknown and being able to live up to their expectations of me that worries me. Its good to know that I'm not alone.
Hello everyone I am in the same boat as a lot of you are or were. 6 years at the current position, but the job has got pretty bad to the point I dread going in there everyday. I have been offered a new position and it has been hell deciding if I can make it at the new company or not. I feel like either way I am going to suffer.
If I stay at the old job and my job it may just get worse and worse, I am not sure if there is anything they can do to make things better. However if I accept the new job, I know I am going to go through absolute hell at first, and the new job may end up being worse than the old one. Questions just keep going through my mind - Will I have cool people to work with? Will I be worked to death? Will I like my manager?, Will I like my office enviornment?, etc. It is the fear of the unknown that is really getting me.
At the same time I feel I could manage my job if things changed for the better, but making changes is out of my hands. And it seems things get worse and worse every year.
I have been there too. Here's a thought, if you have any vacation time you can use, take a day or two and ask the new employer if you can go spend a couple of days there just to see how you will fit in. Work the job, (yes for free, but it's worth it) and see how you adapt. While it's difficult to tell in just a few days how it will be for the next five years, at least if you do decide to take the job you have a familiarity already. Believe me, that helps! If you don't then all you have lost is a few days relaxation and are really none the worse for wear.
I wish I would have done this before leaving a job in the past.
I also feel the exact same emotions and feelings of dread and fear. The same thoughts you had about the new job are what go through my mind as well, "Will I be able to handle the work?", "Will my employers like my work or will I be able to live up to their expectations?", "Will I like the work environment and my co-workers or will they be difficult to work with?", "Will I like my new boss?", etc.
I'm starting a new job tomorrow and I'm feeling anxious right now. 4 months ago I started a consulting job at a big company and my first few weeks, were really tough. I cried to my wife on my first day and after a week felt like quitting, but I knew I couldn't because I am the bread winner in the family. This put more pressure on me. I had a difficult time sleeping and an equally tough time getting out of bed to get ready for work. I would just stare at the clock and watch as the seconds ticked away, dreading the moment when I knew I had to get up and get ready. I felt naucious and couldn't eat a bite of anything. I was a total wreck. But you know what, things got better as time went by and I got accustomed to my job and my co-workers. I finally felt normal again. Right now, I feel anxious again and I know the first few days or so will be tough as I assimilate to my new work environment. But I look forward to the day when I will be ok again. I really hope that day comes sooner than later.
I feel good knowing I'm not alone. Take care everyone.
I am the same as all of you and I have to say that I'm finding comfort in finding people who feel the same way. I just accepted an internship at a new, huge company doing things I've NEVER DONE BEFORE AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO! I feel like they made a mistake in hiring me. I keep getting urgest to pretend I'm going to the bathroom, but to run to my car instead and never go back. Actually, I've done that several times in the past. I have severe anxiety and depression issues. I've left many jobs before getting used to them. But I can't do that anymore, I need the paycheck, I need a stable history. I'm afraid because they give me tasks that I don't even kind of know how to do, not even a little bit, and I feel stupid and I feel like this was all a big mistake and everyone is going to call me out on it. Sometimes I sit at my desk thinking, "Uhhhh, what should I be doing right now? I don't even know where to start. What am I doing here? People here don't like me, they're all so knowlegable and I'm an idiot." You guys I'm scared. I can't sleep at night at all. I need a friend in this. Someone please?? Does it get better? Has anyone else here been a complete know-nothing when a job started but really did learn how? I'm afraid I'll never catch on and this is all above me head. Help!
I can totally relate! I have not worked for 9 YEARS since my middle son was born and my baby started K this year so I thought it would be nice to get a part time job. I got hired as a church secretary even thought I have NO EXPERIENCE in this at all. I was thinking why the heck are they hiring me? (I think its b/c I work in the nursery at this same church, but watching babies/toddlers is easy) I went in today for the first time so they could show me stuff and I was sooo overwhelmed, I couldn't help it the tears started welling up and I just started crying. I was also upset because the person training me (the pastor's wife) just seemed like she was not in a good mood or something. She wasn't rude or short with me just seemed irritated which I took personally. She told me she would not be here next week and I got scared that I would be on my own. She saw me starting to cry and reassured me and really helped me but I felt so stupid that I cried. I keep thinking why did I feel the need to get a job? I don't have to have this. I do good being frugal and just living off my husband's paycheck but I felt the need to prove to myself that I could do more than shuttle kids places, clean the house, and fix meals. I took a notebook with me and jotted everything down but I felt so overwhelmed with everything and just know I will make mistakes. I hope everything is going okay with you and would love to here an update.
I'm glad I'm not alone. Anxiety has ruined EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my life. It's taken me over a decade to finish my Bachelor's degree because of anxiety about going to class or leaving the house. I've had a good 20 jobs over the past 5 years because of my anxiety. It's ruined me financially. I'm not really sure what's going to happen to me to be honest with you. I will tell you though that I'm doing just fine at the internship. Things have gotten better, they just have. Every night for a couple weeks when I started I couldn't sleep at night, I'd sweat and toss and turn and have nightmares and I'd text people at 2 am for reassurance. I really don't have any friends because I avoid connecting and I avoid people and also probably because people just think I'm annoying or I suck. It's especially frustrating because I KNOW I'm smart, but I can't concentrate very well or apply myself because I'm always so very anxious. I go as long as I can fooling people. I know how you have been feeling at work. Many, many times I've had to retreat to my car at work or to the bathroom to cry in silence because I felt incompetent or like someone was angry with me. Maybe you don't have to do it, work that job, but know that I'm proud of you. For people like us, we feel sometimes like our accomplishments don't exist. Going to work, trying, pressing on is an accomplishment even if most people don't recongnize it. My fiance just graduated with his Masters degree yesterday and he's 5 years younger than me and I'm still working on my bachelors. I beat myself up everyday on how I have accomplished nothing, but I alone realize how hellishly hard it's been to press on, to go to work, to try again. You can do it! You can do it. I'm sure you're already doing better since you posted. Just tell yourself that there's a lot of doofs out there with jobs and they manage and don't even think twice about it, and you're not a doof. You're a mom and you're striving to learn more and try things out and it's scary for you but you're still trying.
I am the bigest idiot going,everybody seems so smart exept me.When the boss is giving me orders my nerves get the better of me and i cant take in what he is telling me.
I refuse to take any medication,my moher tried that and she ended up killing herself.
I do take great comfort knowing that i am not the only one suffering and one day i will beat this thing.
I am so glad that I found this. I just needed to feel like I wasn't the only one who felt this way. I just started a new job today, and I'm having major second thoughts and anxiety over it. My last job started out as my dream job, and some aspects of it still remained perfect, but my boss said he could not afford to give me a raise, yet continued to give me more work and more responsibilities. I have lost or left so many jobs over the years...and have gone from a semi-professional social services career down the ranks consistently and now had to take a job in fast food. I can't believe how sad my life has become. I graduated with honors and now everyone I see from school says they can't believe I didn't do more with my life. It is too hard to explain to everyone that I just can't even function as a normal person anymore....I may be intelligent and a hard worker, but when faced with enormous stress, a rude customer, anything....I just lose it. If anyone confronts me, I break down in tears and run out. It's hard to have a good work history if you're always crying and shaking and looking like you're about to throw up. I almost had a panic attack today because on my very first day I was thrown on the cash registers, alone...I had no idea what I was doing and it was so busy during the lunch-hour rush, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I felt my palms sweating and hands tingling and my whole body was tense for the rest of the day. I have felt like throwing up and don't know if I will be able to sleep or how I'm going to manage to make it through my next day. I just want to go back to my old job too....I just wish they would treat me better....they turned my dream job into a nightmare which just continues. I have had anxiety and depression my whole life...I have been on lots of different medications for it but have been off for a couple of years now...I just felt like I was too 'foggy' to perform well at work when I was on the medications...but without them, I'm a crying mess. I am so worried that I'm going to just break down and cry with a whole line of customers to witness it. I talked to my husband about it and he says maybe next year he can get a better job so I don't have to work and can go back to school or something,...but right now it seems almost impossible to make it that long. If I could just find a slow paced job where I could take tranquilizers and still function, that would be great...but that's definitely not the case for me right now....and I have no money and no benefits so I could never afford the counseling that I went to when I was younger (which helped but maybe only temporarily). I guess I'll take a bit of comfort in knowing that I'm not crazy and I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I hear you! I am a widow and have had several jobs since my husband died, and I ended up quitting all of them except the last one where i was fired because the boss was a nut case! I start a new "Job" tomorrow-art Time in retail with very base pay and I am a wreck! I NEED to work-when my unemployment runs out I will be broke, so I had to take some job! But I am a wreck that I will get sick and get fired, or freak out and get fired, or worn;t be able to do this simple job and get fired...I feel like I've suddenly been struck stupid! I can't stand being so nervous for this dumb, dead end job---but I need to be able to work while I;m looking for a higer paying job (Which, if I get, will probably make me such a wreck, I'll have a heart attack!). I feel like such a loser! I just wanna be a little girl again and have my parents bail me out! Duh! Any help???
I have felt this way for new jobs and have found it to be change. You do drastic things to get out of it and start again even though you'll probably feel like this in another job or you've asked for your old job back no matter how much you hated it.
The new place is fine it's just me but don't like this feeling and after 12 years in the last job I had thought it was over but it isn't. Only hope like the last job is to ride it out, stick to short hours an hope it goes soon and I can just enjoy the job.
I know it's change that makes this but I mean big change or change that is instant.
Talking can help but also can add to the already feeling that currently have.
Glad others are having the same feelings and at least I know what to call it.
I am on day 2 of a new job and I am just terrified. I come home from work and am in this panicked daze, dreading the next day already. I worked for this company for 4 years before but then got laid off, and then got brought back in another job that is SO stressful and high pressure. I just don't think I can handle it. I want to turn around and run out when I arrive at the office.
I feel like I'm going to lose myself completely and go crazy and that life is so terrible and awful.
As so many have said, it was such a relief to know that I'm not the only one to feel this kind of anxiety. I do mental health work in a variety of feilds. My last two jobs didn't last long because - despite promising decent training I ended up with case loads in 3 days and had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I just couldn't handle it.
Now I have my dream job work with the criminally mentally ill in prison (yes I have a weird dream job). I got the job last week - I have three weeks until I start and I've never had this much anxiety before. I've had anxiety, but never about work. My job has alwys been the one thing I felt really confident about. And I haven't even started yet!
It started with not sleeping - now I can't eat. I feel sick constantly. What will I be like by the time I actually START!? I know the training is okay (I get 3 weeks before the unit even opens) but the job description is VERY different from anything I've done. And they seem to have gotten the impression I am WAY more qualified than I actually am. Do I tell them I don't think they realize I'm not that qualified and risk looking like an idiot?
I can't take meds because it will pop on my drug screening
I can't even take anything to help me sleep (they register as benzos)
I can't keep my keys for the sense of self control because it's not allowed
I can't cry in front of inmates/corrections officers - I'd be all done then and there.
If I get in there and discover I'm over my head, someone could get hurt.
I'd be terribly greatful for any suggestions - even if they just get from now until my actual start date! Otherwise is will only get worse and I know I'm gonna cave and quit before I even begin.
This post if older, but thought I would add my own thoughts. I have found that the jobs that produce the worse anxiety are the ones where I have to report to a building or boss and are allowed no freedom, I also get the feeling of being sentenced to prison if the job has no end date. So I resolved myself to applying only to jobs that fit a criteria of: must be a job that is self-managed, a seasonal position that would offer unemployment in the off season, a job where you would solo or is a job that requires travel (like sales or inspection) and little direct interaction with the manager/boss, a job that is the graveyard shift where I am free from constant direct oversight and micro-managing or a job where someone tells me what to do pays me per job, so if I do well and get done early, I can leave.
In the end my list ends up being jobs that would work: night auditor at a hotel, traveling sales, being a home health aide that drives from home to home, security guard, toll booth attendent, caretaker and the like. At every job interview I make sure the job will fit this criteria. I still get anxiety between accepting the job offer and actually starting and have actually backed out of a job a few times. Even calling the night before to say that I decided the job wasn't for me (and it wasn't...I was raised to think that if someone offers you a job, any job, you better take it.)
I am going for a job interview tomarrow for a night auditor position. In my mind I think that it will be a perfect fit, but will find out if the company matched my criteria for low anxiety. It would be bad for them and me if I am calling in because I am mentall ill from the job. I try not to think that taking certain jobs is a bad thing, but rather I know my limits and why waste time taking a job at a department store or as a waitress when I would rather be homeless or dead than subjected to the anxiety it would produce.
I hope this posts inspires ideas in others looking for suitable work. I believe it is just a matter of finding that low anxiety position and doing everything in your power to keep it and get into that comfort zone.
I am the same, I have gone for a new job in the company I work for, a big organisation, I have been on the factory side of things for 10 years and have just completed a 3 year course. I applied for a role in finance and have been given it...I have to meet and support higher managers and have a lot to learn...I am so nervous and really dont want to do it but have said yes...I too need an escape route...I am quite shy but come across as confident, the job is a good pay rise which we need! This website is so comforting and everyone at work says I will do a good job! Feel very stressed out.......
I recently started a new job and I'm feeling exactly the same way. I am in tears all day and night about this change. I recently had a baby, went back to work and then put in my notice b/c I got a new job that offeres more pay, benefits and potential for growth.I liked my last job a lot except for the low pay and not much room for growth. This new job has so much to learn and I'm terrified I will fail and won't be able to learn as quickly as they want me to. I desperately want to go back to my old job. I enjoyed my coworkers and the enviornment so much more than I do at this one. I pray that as time goes on over the next few months that I will learn to like it or at least tolerate it. It's such a good company that I hate to throw this opportunity away but my sanity is more important. Ugh..I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to go on medication but I don't know how else to get rid of these horrible feelings. It takes every ounce of energy for me to get up in the morning and go to work. I feel good that I'm not the only one going through this right now. I would appreciate anyone's advice on how to overcome these horrible feelings and emotions.
You are not alone at all. I'm going through the exact situation at this very moment in time. (The only difference between you and me is that I don't have any kids.) I just started a new job yesterday and everyone is so nice and welcoming. It's better pay, better benefits, better everything and I've only heard amazing things about the company....but all I think about is how much I miss my old job because I loved the people and the enviroment sooooo much. It was way smaller than this new job (about 50 people) and now I'm at a company with around 500...so when I left it felt like I was leaving my family. It's just that the pay was bad and there wasn't any room for growth.
I keep asking myself why I took this job in the first place. I cry at lunch time and I cry on the way to and from work...sometimes I even feel like crying on the job but I hold it in and concentrate on my training. I just started seeing a therapist, but I've only had one session with her so far and the first one isn't much help since all she does is try and get to know you for the first session. I have another appointment Thursday and I'm really hoping it helps. The ONLY thing that has been keeping me going...is that I feel like there was some other force in this world pushing me towards this new job and somehow it's meant to be (I wish I knew why but I may not know for a while). I even asked my old boss her opinion (before I gave notice) on what I should do and she said "If you were my daughter, I would tell you to take the job because I've only heard great things about this company and you can move up a lot faster there." That was my first huge sign...and more and more signs kept coming.
If you want to talk please send me an email. It would be really helpful to talk to someone who's going through this same thing at the exact moment in time that I am. It's just refreshing knowing I'm not alone (especially since no one else seems to understand what I'm really going through...my husband just says, "You're acting crazy, no one acts like this when it comes to getting a new job.") That makes it even harder when he says things like that. He just has no clue that I literally feel like I'm going mentally crazy inside.
I do hope this site is still current, I have found reading all your posts such a comfort as I am experiencing terrible stress and panic attacks. I have a new job which I havent even started yet as I have yet to be trained. Its a rubbish job at minimum wage. I am stuck in the USA with my american husband and cant return home as we have been trying to sell our house for over 2 and half years. I am so homesick and sad that I gave up a really good job to come here. Now I havent worked for 7 years and the anxiety is huge, my heart is pounding and I feel like I am going to die, or maybe would prefer to rather than feel this way. I feel trapped and my husband doesnt understand at all, he just shouts and bullies me and says if I dont do something we will loose everything. If anyone is reading this and feels the same my heart goes out to you, there is no place for sensitive hardworking people who care, you have to be hard as nails and not care it seems.
I'm starting a new job tomorrow morning and I am wracked with nerves - it's the worst feeling in the world. I'm paranoid about no one liking me, not being able to do the job and everyone thinking I'm an idiot. I'm lucky in the sense that while it's new job in a new location, it's with the same company, so if it doesn't work out for the first three months I have the option of going back to my original role, but then I'll feel like a failure and everyone else will think I am too. I've spent the last two weeks waking up with that horrible feeling in my chest, just counting down the days until I have to start and I can't believe it's only a few hours away now. I've taken a lot of comfort from this page, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. I hate change :(
Wow. I've got exactly the same problem. I've been out of work for nearly a year now and I've only realised it's due to this problem. I have had so many interviews it's not funny and I always attributed knocking back/procrastinating jobs due to general laziness and also depression. I have had one job in this time which was only a receptionist job but extremely full on: phones ringing every 2 seconds, clients being abusive, negative atmosphere and poor management. So bad that I had physical stomach pain from the stress. That job was so bad I had to quit without securing another job first (I told myself that I did the right thing because apparently the next 2 other receptionist also quit after me). After that the problem has gotten worse. I would continue to go to interviews, confident and positive, then worry about if I actually got one. Then I got offered to come in for a 'training day' for this one job, which was kind of like a second interview, which I tossed and turned over the night before of course but somehow managed to turn up. The next day I was offered the job. The night before starting I experienced the same thing again, managed to leave the house the next day, but started panicking and feeling sick on the way. Of course I am ashamed to say I did not make it, in fact I was so embarrased I had to make up a lie to the manager as to why I could no longer start work there. I feel very ashamed to admit this as I am not normally a liar. Recently the same thing is happening - I had two interviews for two different jobs, actually got offered one job and then another - I could not make a decision but finally managed to choose. I am starting a new job tomorrow and worried all over again that this horrible cycle will continue. I know I need to think that I HAVE to work because I cannot rely on govt welfare forever because of this problem (so embarrasing). All these posts have helped me alot though. I will try my best to be positive and just remember it's only a job!!
I am starting a new job tomorrow, and am very happy to have come across this! I worked in the medical device field for 16 years, and worked my way into an engineering position without an education. When the company sold, I was laid off. Its been six weeks, and with some help from a very nice lady at an engineering house, I got my resume together, and got a lot of interviews. This job looks to be exciting, in a company that has a lot of newer employees, but I am in my early forties, with many young degreed engineers. It will require me to take the train instead of driving, which can also be a hassle, but I am so nerved up, it makes me sick. This is something I haven't had to deal with in many years, and I am worried sick that I won't be able to keep up with the younger kids, or be able to communicate with them. Knowing that what I am feeling isn't new is comforting, but I start on Thursday, and my new boss will be out of the office the following week so I will be all alone! AHHHHHHHHH HELP!!!
Its reassuring to know there are others who feel the same as me.
I started a new job today after 3 and a half years at my old job and never knew I would feel do bad. I feel so out of place,I don't know anyone and don't know what im doing. I threw up at lunchtime through nerves and came home and cried my eyes out.
From those who have been through this, what I really want to know (or need to know for my own sanity) is how long this feeling lasts? When will I feel normal and settled or does this feeling go away??
This forum has helped me so much ,
i am a 26 year old male who thought that i was crazy being upset and stressed out a few days in a new job. My overwhelming panic has caused me to walk out of 2 jobs previous but i am determined to stick at this one as it is a great career move for me. I am ususally the life and soul and the clown of the group but when it comes to change i freak out. Its comforting to know im not the only one out there who struggles with these issues.
thanks to all who posted
oh man, I can realate to much to this.
I am also 26 years old, but the difference is that I am fresh out of college and this is my first *real* full time job. I am currently in a 2 week paid training program, and tomorrow will be day 4 for me. The first day went amazingly well, but the second one was a nightmare. I had a massive panic attack in the morning, and ended up leaving and going home for 3 hours to try and calm down (I returned later that afternoon.) Today I had another panic attack around the same time, but managed to hang in there, and tough it out. Around noon, I started feeling better.
It is all very bizarre, because I have not felt like this since elementary school, when my mother would drop me off in the mornings. I would have this overwhelming sense of "dread" that would only subside in the early afternoon. I think it has something to do with being crammed into a tiny room all day for this training. We are also not allowed "casual computer access" even though we are all stationed at one.
I also feel like I am not living up to my potential in regards to my degree and major. I majored in graphic design, but settled for a e-commerce marketing and sales job for the time being. I keep actively checking job boards and postings on a daily basis, hoping for a new lead that can get me into a career more closely suited to what I love to do.
Something else that irks me, is that I am so incredibly limited to my free time now, that I feel like a major chunk of my freedom has been removed. At least with computer access, I could keep up-to-date with people view tumblr, twitter, facebook, etc. But now I am effectively cut-off from the world for around 7 hours a day during training, and it is mind numbingly painful.
Taking a deep breath and reminding myself that "this job can be temporary until I find something better" , has actually been what has gotten me through the past couple of days. Also, it does not help matters that my car is on it's last "legs", and I cannot live at home with my mother forever (she is actually moving, and essentially forcing me to move out to an apartment.)
i am in the same boat as you....i start at 6am tomorrow..I am feeling pretty freaking nervous!! im normally an outgoing person but I struggle with change a great amount...and I have to wear a tie and I have no idea how to tie one.I'm going to walk in there completely lost and anxious. I just keep telling my self that the person that will be training me also had to go through training.After all they are just human...Hopefully it all goes well and I'll be able to get a few hours of sleep at least...<NERVOUS>
I feel the same. I'm looking to change my career. I've been in my job now for 13 years now and looking to take on a new career in a completly different job for the sake of being closer to my family. with no experience as well. I suffer from extreme anxiety and i hate change. I often think if i leave my job for a new one, will i be making a big mistake, what if it dosnt work out and maybe this new career isnt for me. Will i be phoning my old boss to ask for my job back. it scares me. I feel the same about having my car keys and just walking out the door and just drive off.
It is 4.30 in the morning and I've been awake now for a few hours....I accepted a new job precisely 11 hours ago! The new job is great. It is a senior position with excellent compensation and incentives. I'll be part of the management team and I'll have people reporting to me for the first time.
My over riding feelings panic, fear, terror...I am on the sofa, watching the new day dawn, in tears.
I am the main earner in our house. I feel enormous pressure to keep the roof of our lovely home over our heads and food on our table. I am scared to death that if I stay where I am, they will fire me (I am on my 4th or 5th boss in 2 years so the company has a track record) and we'll lose everything.....and if i go, I'll be crap at the job, I'll let my new team down and I'll quit or be fired in under a year....and we'll lose everything....I feel utterly desolate.
I want to hide under the bed and not come out...I want someone else to make it ok....I don't want to let my fantastic and amazing partner down. I also don't want him to think that I am a neurotic nutbar.
I don't want to let mey existing team down, by resigning, or my new team down by not taking the job and shutting the door on a potentially fantastic opportunity. I feel completely paralysed. I don't want to live like this....
I'm sorry to hear you are in this state and it's early morn etc... been there - awful.
Just something small to ponder on - it may help - it may not - but it's worth a shot.
Your problem may be that you are looking at something huge, frightening and insurmountable with no escape. Like a huge mountain of raisins that you "have to eat all at once" or ELSE! Yes - this is your anxiety. Shrink this huge, overwhealming thing down in your mind to something really small - like a single raisin, cut yourself some slack and just eat one at a time - in your own time. Live in the moment of each breath and smile.
I am a 30 year old male, college degree , always owned my own lawn business, had to quit because of debilitating anxiety and depression the last few years . Decided to make a change in careers. Moved to florida with my Dad who is helping me and supporting me. Been here 4 months, had 3 different jobs that I did not like at all but took them just to "have a job" . My goal when I moved here was to get back into Selling Real estate as a real estate agent.. becuase I did it one year back in 08 and did extremely well at it. I am naturally good with all types of people and good at working with them to sell thier property and to find the right property for them. When I am feeling confident and low anxiety people tend to be attracted to me, and want my help. So I lucked up and met a very successful broker that just started a new company and wants me to be her asssitant. She is basically paying me a small salary to help her with a variety of tasks and Marketing ( i have degree in Marketing) I will be busy helping her mostly part time hours..and the rest of the time she wants me out generating my own clientele. So I finally got this Dream opportunity to do what I have been longing to do since I got out of real estate in 08 due to the market crash and other personal issues... And Im on day 3 and having anxiety and a fear that I wont be able to perform because of my anxiety. I have already met 3 people that are serious buyers and want my help to start the search process for a new home.. my dads boss and his wife, my aunt who is retiring and moving to town early next year, and a man that owns his own barber shop I met last weekend is looking for his first home.. So I was super excited when all this happened and I already have my first potential clients...then today the anxiety and doubts set in and I did not do much of anything!! its like a crippling feeling that drains my energy and confidence...I start to feel completly overwhelmed like its impossible to do all the small tasks I have to do and my mind plays tricks on me that its not even worth it to try anything and that its never going to work out.. All this is going on along with bad anxiety..
I have been treated my whole life with anxiety and depression and take medication and actually am doing better now than i have done in years.. I have worked very hard to get this amazing opportunity and am blessed that my new boss believes in me enough to basically fund my real estate career at first by hiring me as an assistant..her main goal for me is to get up and running on my own with my own clients... So I am going to take everyones advice and hang in there, take it one day, one task at a time, reward myself, start working out again, and just try to believe..
Im so close to getting my Life back and overcoming this 4 year battle with depression and feeling like a failure... I know how everyone on here feels..Its been the story of my life... But I must overcome this and get my life back!!
good luck to all :)
had this job this morning that would put me back on the map financially and emotionally but an hr before there goes anxiety again. im so a peoples person i thought but guess not. this is about the eight job in 4 months now, either i must don't care about the money or im crazy, but i can say, finding others just like i is somewhat refreshing. personally me, i find all kind of ways to get out of there, my phone needs to get put in the car, or i need to change under shirts, my moms outside. whatever the case' i gotta get the heck up outta there. man. this sucks but dont feel bad
I have been at my current job for over 5 years and last week I just accepted a new job position. I start in two weeks and I’m already having anxiety issues, I feel sick and I can’t help but wondering if I made the right decision. I know taking this new position is best for me and my family, but still can’t help but feel nervous about starting. I generally have anxiety attacks when big changes in my life happen and I know that it’s going to take me a week or two to feel comfortable at my new job. Does anyone have any advice to make it through the first couple of days/weeks?
To this day, after working at my current place of employment for almost 4 years, I STILL carry my car keys in my pocket at all times. I guess it became a habit after what use to be my way of controling my being at my job when it was new.
I always also refuse to bring in personal items until I feel comfortable. Some people would do the opposite, but for me, it gives me the option to leave at a moment's notice if the anxiety gets too much for it.
All these things are about control and for me, it does help with the anxiety. After about a week or two, I start to feel comfortable and the anxiety wears off. But the build up...oh boy, I think it's worse than the first day of work!
Another suggestion, reward yourself. At the end of a week at the new job, go out to dinner or whatever, to celebrate your victory over the anxiety. After a month, go buy yourself something you have been wanting. Every day we stay at the new job is another day closer to be free of the anxiety.
Obviously, since you are currently working, you HAVE beat the anxiety before. Just try to keep that in mind as you struggle through this process. You can do this!!
Good luck and hang on.
Thanks for the great advice Robin, I appreciate it. For me it's a comfort thing, for the past 5+ years I had the same job with the same people and I have built-up that comfort level. I'm definitely a creature of habit, I have my ways and routines and I stick to them. My anxiety and stress level shoots through the roof when I think about major changes in my life.
However, there has been a lot of downsizing in at my current position so it's good that I am getting out and I am truly excited about my new job at a growing and stable company. I know that once I'm there for a week, I'll start building that comfort level back up, but like you said it's just the anxiety leading up to the first day.
I completely agree with you about giving yourself "rewards" or "incentives" after the first week/month. I know that I do it all the time, it gives me something to look forward to and helps me get past the rough patches throughout the week.
I really get how it feels. I have been at my current employer for almost 4 years now. I absolutely LOVE my job, the people I work with and where I work. I have excelled, won Employee of the Quarter and have been given more and more responsibility.
Recently, a co-worker told me about a job posting that I would be suited for, so I applied for it and they want to schedule an interview. Here came the PANIC. SO instead of spinning myself into the ground, I talked to a friend about the job and really just sat myself down and realized that it was going to be OK. If I could get through starting this job I am currently in, I could get through another.
I am addressing my fear of driving to new places alone, by taking a test drive over the weekend with the family. Surprisingly, the anxiety is staying at a minimum.
I think I will always feel anxiety, just not the level I use to. So this thing can be overcome by all of you. Our minds are our own worst enemy sometimes.
Peace and blessings to all,
I am in the same boat as all of you, except I've been unemployed for an entire year now. My unemployment providers want me to search for at least 3 jobs a day and just the thought of doing that completely overwhelms me. I constantly have so much anxiety and stress everyday worrying about never finding a job, or finding a job and having problems with it, that I practically worry myself sick. I feel so lost and hopeless right now all I ever feel like doing is crying and sleeping. I do see a psychologist, but it doesn't always help either. I'm only 26, but I feel like I'm in a huge hole I dug myself in.
I have just started a new job after being off work with depression and anxiety for many years. The anxiety is horrible and my depression has come back and insomnia is making me ill again.I did not get a wink of sleep for 2 nights and now after 4 days I had to go to the doctor and get tranqulisers and sleeping tablets. The first 2 weeks are training and with the insomnia it is impossible to concentrate and I know if I cannot pick up next week I may have to leave? Which means no money coming in at all.I do not know what I am going to do.Suicidal thoughts are starting to enter my head and thats the only time i feel relaxed as this could end the hell I am feeling.I wish I could be normal and breeze through lifes problems but I cannot do it.My mind is seems so weak and broken so easily.
You're definately not alone there hun! I'm a 20 year old female, I've had anxiety for the past 10 years of my life and have recently been put on anti-depressants...
I have been unemployed for a year and a half now (before then I've had about 10 different jobs) none of them last over a few months (with the exception of one job that I was at for a year, when I was 16!)...
I struggled with the Jobcentre as I was getting interviews, going to them (sometimes) and getting the job (I was offered 3 jobs whilst being unemployed) and I failed to start any of them due to my overwhelming anxieties! Which sucked ass as I wanted to start saving to move out of my rents house!
I recommend going to see your Doctor and telling them about your anxieties. I have a lovely lady doctor who gives my sick notes so I can sign on to ESA. It's a brilliant benefit as you not only don't have to look for work, fill in booklets or even go in and sign on. But when you think you're ready to start work they can help you find part time jobs to ease you in to work slowly. It's great!
The main reason I'm on here is that a friend offered me an interview for a place she recruits for and Jesus I want the money! £7.50 an hour for a starting wage is pretty motivating! Although, they don't offer part time work so I'm scared that it'll be too much! And like most other opportunities I'm scared I'll cower away from them and just stay in bed and cry!
But I've read alot of posts on this page and it has really helped knowing there are people, that get up and go to work every day that have these same feelings of uncontrollable, irrational fear... It's very comforting as it tells my mind that it IS possible to work through the fear, quite literally! And it really must be a natural response of the human mind to have - FEAR OF THE UNKOWN!
But I guess the thing I keep forgetting is that WE create the world we live in... Nothing can mean everything to a mind caught in an irrational spiral! And at the same time (in theory) I should be able to see anything as nothing to be afraid of - and we all can.
So all fellow anxious beings - let's walk forward, down the path of the unknown. Although we walk our own path, we should never forget our brothers and sisters who walk somewhere beside us.
Take care and good luck!
Well, I did some research to find out what causes brain fog, panic attacks and anxiety. With me part of the problem must be because of too much caffeine. I always drank at least two jumbo cups of coffee in the morning. With my last job I was drinking at least four a day. I thought it would help me be alert and do the job much quicker. Instead I could hear my heart pounding, my memory was at a loss. Being home, I realized I would still get anxious thinking of looking for work again. Finally, today I only drank a half a cup of coffee, I am back on the internet looking for work, feeling relaxed. Now that I am feeling brave again, I will start my job search. Maybe I will feel more in control this time.
Great you have an interview. I start a new job tomorrow but the thing is I'm not full of anxiety - well may be very slightly but the difference is, the company I am joining - I have been doing voluntary work for 2 days a week. So because I know them the fear of the unknown is completely removed. Pay aint so good but it's a job and a new start to get my confidence back into shape. Best of luck everyone.
Very well said. This page brought me a lot of comfort. Dont know about you but my work program lady helped a lot too when I explained the situation to her. Hugely supportive. Best wishes.
There is so much pressure on people looking for work these days, in the UK like USA, jobs are not easy to find in the current economic state and the pressure to "take any job" if you're out of work is huge. The trouble is "any job" will more enough be the wrong job if you have any grain of doubt about it, by the time you start the job, those grains of doubt will have been amplified out of proportion.
I have been out of work now for 16 months and could have been back in work a couple of times if it wasn't for my anxiety. The feeling of letting yourself and your family/loved ones down is horrible and so there is huge pressure from that angle too. We are constantly being pushed and pulled from all sides which is creating a huge amount of stress and anxiety.
We should try not to be so hard on ourselves. Cut ourselves some slack. It's bad enough having this anxiety in the 1st place. Get the help we need and move on - one step at a time.
Thanks, Ian! Hope you're doing better. Great advice!!
I'm pleased that you as well as many others (including myself) take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and many, many people the world over will be or have gone through this type of anxiety.
Your best bet is to stick it out and only do what you are paid to do. You can only learn and take in as much as is humanly possible - any employer worth their salt should realise this!
It will get easier - it always does, so don't be so hard on yourself, take 3 minutes out to focus on nothing but your breathing when you feel your anxiety is overwealming you.
Finally, and most importantly, this is ONLY a job - bear that in mind and you should be able to see things in better perspective.
By the way, I didnt get the job I interviewed for but alas, that's life - in a way I was glad but have not had a similar anxiety recently with another interview on which I am still waiting for the result - but feeling OK about this one. Funny that?
All the best.
I still have not heard yet, but feel positive about the possibility of starting with this company.
Sorry to hear of your situation. Did you discuss your concerns with your employer first? I know what it is like when all you want to do is get away from the situation, I have been there. Its just the way we have of coping with anxiety - by avoiding the situation you feel is causing the anxiety. You're certainly not worthless though so don't think that way - you're just going through a difficult patch that WILL get better.
Anxiety aside, you probably made the right decision anyway - it sounds like they were expecting too much from one person, and if I read your situation correctly, this was only a temp job anyway? There will be other, better opportunities.
I did express my concerns with my boss but she was convinced I would "get it". I did talk to my co-workers who thought I was doing fine, but couldn't understand why they would put an "as needed" person in that position to train for 8 days...then be on my own. In fact, my boss was going to train me on another person's job so that I could cover who ever went on vacation.
I feel I could have done this if I wasn't feeling pressure to understand everything by the end of the week..then move on to another job. Just too overwhelming. It could have potentially developed to a part-time position down the road.
Anyways....my last day, I went in and my mind went completely blank from the anxiety and I just wanted to run out of there, but I stayed. That night I broke down and knew I couldn't do it again. Now I'm so scared that everytime I start a job, I will get this way. I always held a job in the past though.
Best of luck to you, Ian on your job search. Thanks so much for your input!!
Hey your most welcome.
You do get into that anxiety cycle - i know what its like - scared the next job will go the same way as the last. That's what the anxiety feeds on. The only way is to break the cycle. Remember - thoughts about the past are ONLY thoughts, and thoughts about the future are NOT facts. Let your worries come and go and accept that anxiety is part of your life. I don't want to spout on about it, but Mindfulness Meditation has helped me a lot with my anxiety. As an alternative or complimentary therapy it may be worth a shot. Your councellor may even suggest it - mine did!
All the best
Hi. I am new to this site, but have been reading this particular thread for several days due to getting a new job. I have been at my current position for 2 years (retail). I had FINALLY found a job towards a career; it was perfect. I got the job as a receptionist at a dental office with no experience. My first day was yesterday (couldn't eat breakfast because I was afraid I would throw up) and the other girl that was hired and I read manuals and answered questions until around 2:30-3:00 and trained for 2 hours until 5 when we closed. We find out they actually have no receptionists, so the office manager tells us it is just going to be us upfront tomorrow. I immediately started to fear for the worst. The other girl even looked at me and said "I am so not comfortable to be on my own tomorrow." I mean, we had 2 hours of training!! One of us was going to be upfront checking in patients, taking insurance, checking for copays, taking patients pictures, answering phones, and setting up new appointments, as well as calling all of the appts. for the next day to verify they are coming. The other was going to be checking people out, dealing with their insurance, calculating how much they owe, etc. Never done any of this and all of a sudden we are up there on our own???!! So, I get home....lay on the couch and don't move all night. I literally sobbed half of the night and then when the morning came around I felt so sick and by the time I finally got myself out of bed, it was too late to get ready. I did not go in. I am now so pissed off at myself because this job was perfect, and I allowed my anxiety to win.........again. This was a huge opportunity for me with no experience to learn, and I blew it. Everyone is going to be so disappointed in me, but no one can imagine how I feel about myself. This job paid much better, paid full medical, was only Mon-Thurs. 8-5. Why did I do this to myself. Why couldn't I take everyone's advice to "just push through it?" I am so disappointed in myself that I almost can't believe I did it because I told myself I wouldn't. Now I have to go back and tell everyone after one day.........I know the first days are always overwhelming, but I couldn't stand the fact of not having someone there to shadow or at least shadow me and show me what to do every step of the way. The office manager said yesterday, "tomorrow will definitely be a test," and I failed. I'm sure no one will read this, but thanks for giving me the chance to express how I feel. No one around me understands the hold that anxiety has on me. "Just suck it up," or "get over it," is what I hear. It feels good to know that there are other people out there like me, but it still does not change my aching disappointment for myself.
Thanks for the reply! The Office Manager would have been there, but she was going to be verifying insurance for patients from yesterday and today, so I would have constantly been having to ask questions. This is the busiest dental office I have ever seen and it is a pediatric office. Literally by 9:00am, every seat in the lobby is full & the phone rings every 5 seconds....so I pretty much just panicked, but have been sick all day because I blew it. I am still getting texts today saying, "congrats on the new job!" and "i'm so proud of you!" Which makes me feel even more sick. Have you visited the counselor yet or was today your first visit? Let me know how it goes. I get the same feeling of not being worthy and not feeling like I am going to be good at anything. My husband is the exact opposite and he doesn't understand. We are currently not speaking right now because of all of this, that's why I reached out to you guys. Not having anyone around you that understands the pain, the agony, the constant worries, is really hard sometimes. Oh, and I am pretty sure that other girl went in, although I did wonder, she was very uppity towards the end of the day-whereas I feel as though I had already "checked out."
I wonder, too, if I was on some sort of medication for my anxiety if I would have been able to stick it out. I wish I would have so desparately, but oh well, it's too late now. I started getting anxiety right out of high school, once I started college. Not too sure why, but it has just escalated. I do not have kids, but I can completely understand your scenario of staying home with the kids and venturing back out into the working world; I can only imagine that is very hard! I am very susceptible to depression, so I am feeling it as of now. Just pure & utter disappointment for myself. This was a job that saw something in me knowing I could do the job and I blew it. I hope your depression gets better and that soon your dream job will come along! I still have my retail job, but changed my availability and everyone knows I got a new job. Now I have to go in there and tell them otherwise. They were really trying to give me more hours there (retail=crappy hours) and I said, "sorry, got a new job!" And now I am going to have to go in there and say hey, actually....I need more hours now. I wonder how that will pan out. Hopefully they will not hold resentment towards me. My husbands job is being eliminated, so now I know he is even more worried because with this other job, I could've paid the bills. With retail...definitely not. I feel so much guilt for now putting even more pressure on him. Oh well, enough about me. I truly hope your counseling session goes well tomorrow and maybe you can find the root cause of your anxiety.
Hi, I was just wondering if things were getting better...or same?
I know what you are going thru. Remember this, everybody likes to be praised, when I start a new job I show admiration for others, I let them know that I am learning from them and how happy I am that they are training me since they are so good at what they do. By doing this you turn people their attention to their own performance instead of yours, they will help you since you admire them. It is a shame but much of the help that you will get is going to be for their own satisfaction. Go with a low profile, that way you will surprise them when you perform... Sorry if I mispelled anything since English is my second language.
By the way, seems like you have plenty of skills since many employers picked you to work for them, Congrats!!! Now you like me a little better? ;)
Oh my word, I think finding this forum may have helped me get back into work! Having read all the things people have gone through - the sleepless nights, the overwhealming feeling of doom....Funny thing is, I havnt had the interview for the new job yet but strangely, the anxiety seems to kick in when the possibility of a new job comes along - I know there is a very good chance I will get this job!
I have had a couple of jobs which I finished after one day being so overcome with anxiety. We are all acting in the same way - avoidance. Avoidance means you don't have to face what is causing the fear/anxiety. If you're frightened of spiders - you make damn sure you get the hell away if you see one - again, avoidance.
Just spending an hour and a half reading most of these messages has made me feel so much stronger and confident that I will not walk out of a job which I MIGHT be offered soon.
I too am on medication, Seroxat - they call it here in the UK - and have been for over 10 years. I'm now approaching 41 and have been out of work for a 15 month streach now - had an offer last December but ended up turning it down in the end. Avoidance again.
I had a referral to do an MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) course lasting 8 weeks (one evening a week) which has helped a lot - the meditation practice, although not designed to relax you, does anyway as a by-product.
I know if I am offered the job, I will get the jitters and probably wake up at 4am on the Sunday night before I start but having read this forum, I now have a warm feeling inside knowing that I am NOT alone - none of us are - and this is much more common that people think - especially in today's climate of rising unemployment and stress to "take any job".
I will definately report back on how I do should I be offered the job and start - because I know it will help someone else. Strength in numbers everyone.
It is interesting to find this thread and see how people are doing after they first posted. It is 2012 now and I wonder if robin is still at the same job.
I have trouble with anxiety.
I thought I had conquered it but then I was sick for a while and had some other stress and now that I have been off work, I can't bring myself to go back. There is nothing wrong with my job. It is easy but how do I force myself to go?
I am not afraid to change jobs as I am a consultant and usually change every 6-12 months anyway.
I have stress from being the only one bringing in income and the thing is I know I make plenty to cover everything so why am I sabotaging myself by not going and deliberately getting behind on everything?
I even applied for a new contract and got it and start in a few weeks and I am scared the same thing will happen. I will take one day off and then it will turn into a week.
This forum is good in letting you know you are not the only one who faces problems with anxiety. I have always felt a little nervous when starting new jobs, but I never quit a job unless I had another one to go to. In the last three years that has changed for me. My last job was outsourced and the site closed back in 2009 . I finally decided to go back to work this year full time. I started a job in insurance, which was new to me, my prior jobs were in collections. I was shocked that my anxiety level was very high. My mind would go blank and I would feel so overwhelmed. I stayed two months and quit. I was so afraid of making a mistake, and giving out the wrong information, I felt it was better to quit to get rid of the stress I was putting my self under. I did not give myself a chance. Some of the ideas I read on the prior posts I will try next time. I want to go back to work and succeed next time.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I read most of the answers here and feel better.
I left my job in 2009 (after 6 years of happily working there). I had sponsored my mother to come to live with me so I quit that position for a better one. The job I had was a nightmare. I had a woman supervisor who was horrible to me. She wanted me to learn everything quickly and did not give me a chance. She treated like I was an idiot so I left. I soon found another position in a company that was not stable and hardly got paid. Last year was one of the worst years of my life. I decided to leave this company the first of Nov 2011. My mom got a full time job so I was happy for her and kind of relieved. I've had a few interviews and I may get one offer at the end of this week. Today my mom was told not to come back anymore. She was devastated and so was I. I've been crying for a few hours thinking this could be a pattern. I feel sad my mom lost her job and I'm afraid and anxious that if I start one, the same would happen to me. I don't know why I do that to myself but I can't help it. Starting a new job right now is giving me a lot of anxiety.
I just went to an interview and it was "horrible" for me, so after that I just said I hope they dont call me because I was really sick. Now they called me for a second interview and I feel sick again and having panic attacks about it, should I put myself through this again? and in case they give me the job, how can I go every day feeling this way? But I need the money I need the job my husband abandoned me and my sons and I HAVE to make money. I don't know what to do. ..an online job maybe...?
I can understand the anxiety. I'm a rookie cop. I have people asking me questions all of the time and they expect me to know all the answers. I feel terrible having to call my supervisor to ask for advice. I hate the feeling of failure when I mess up on a report and have to make changes because my documents affect people's lives. I got into this job to help people but sometimes I feel like I'm not making much of a contribution. All I can do is hope I improve over time and get over this terrible feeling of hopelessness. Ugghhhh I have to get back to work in 5 1/2 hours. Watching the clock tick.
Its hard starting a new job. I left my last job because I was not being challenged enough, was bored, and did not see a future with the company. I joined a company that is fast-paced, challenging, and has growth opportunity. I have worked for four days and everyday I feel like an idiot. I'm in a totally new career and I feel like a child in a business suit pretending to work at my adult desk job. Today I actually had to make a real effort to not start crying! How sad! I'm usually pretty talkative, but I have lost my confidence and with it my voice. I'm taking it one day at a time because I commited to this job change. They hired me because they saw something in me and I just have to remember that!
They hired you because they saw something in you! They passed others up for the job and they gave it to you. Just give it time and effort and everything will work out just fine. Everybody is new at some point. Good luck!
I have the same problem as you. Every time when I started a new job I will suffer from anxiety. I do not know why. I have been fired several times and it made my anxiety get worse. now I am trying to work in a restaurant as a waitress. I am still so anxious and want to quit. I have to force myself to go to work. It is very hard. But I do not know why it is like this. hope someone here can help us.
I have the exact same feeling as you. I can get a job offer very easily but it had been so hard for me to stay in the new job. I suffered very bad anxiety because I have serious social sophia. I am scared of talking to people either over the phone or face to face. But all the job offers I had got are receptionist position. OMG. everyday I felt I was dying. I was fired for several times and that made my anxiety worse. I am seeing psychologist now but it didnot help a lot. Now I am working in a restaurant as waitress. I am still feeling so anxious all the time. I nearly gave up yesterday. so hard. But I can not figure out why it happend like this all the time. hope someone here can help us.
sorry it posted 3 times, it kept saying error! lol
I'm so glad I found this post and the answers are awesome!I'm 31 and been unemployed for a year. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Dysthymia. I start a new job tomorrow and I'm finding 1,000 things to worry about that seem frivilous. I'm not in therapy but want to go back soon. My prayers were answered getting this job because I have $300 left in unemployment, and feeling relieve form anxiety from lexapro/abilify for months I feel everything will crumble down tomorrow as I run out of xanax. I guess I have to remind myself I've been through worse things before and made it through somehow. I think I'm just worried that the job will be too overhwhelming and I'm afraid they will barely train me. They want me to start right away cuz they liked me so much. They want someone with a clean driving record cuz I'll be driving a lot and I told them upfront I have a driving misdemeanor similar to a DUI but not. In closing, what I learned from years of anxiety/depression/therapy is that anxiety can be obsessive. And when you are being obsessive about anything you lose logic and stress distorts this. Anyway...here goes nothing...I want this job so badly and imagine myself staying there forever.
I started a new job on Mon. the 19th too, how is it going for you? Right now it feels like I will never learn all I have to.
I feel the same way most of you feel, I was at my last job for 11yrs making a good living and made a lot of friends. At my new job it seems boring I keep looking at clock when is it time to go home I've been at for 2 weeks all I keep thinking is that maybe I have done a mistake. I can't sleep or eat I feel sick all the time and I do feel like crying but I can't show any emotion because of my kids, this new job is a higher position than my past job but all I do is think of is my old job.When I'm I going to stop feeling this way or should I just start looking for another job?
I know your post is old but I had the same problem..I fixed it by telling people around me about the issue (slowly). I didn't fix itself overnight because once I knew they knew it got even worse because then I was afraid to be even more sick around them but overtime you start to relax because you start knowing that if anything goes badly wrong and you know yourself it won't go as far as you think maybe worse but not life threatning. But mainly you need to get to your deep thoughts that your hidding....Get over the fact that if you think you do something wrong that they will laugh or something in that situation....Just in case check your blood sugar anxiety and hypoglycemia always get mixed up by Dr;s!
welll all i cant tell you is that i have the same fear...... but you know who helps me... is GOD if u ask for guidence he will help you threw thick and thin... so what i am telling you is i know you can not control your emotions but just pray to god it help trust me....... life gets tough, so just hold on and remember its only something God has given to you for a challenge, so take it as a lesson and learn from it ♥
Wow, I feel so much better having found this post and all of the answers. It's great to see that so many people have commented over the years..especially since I was beginning to think I was the only person who felt this way. I like to think that I am adventurous and like trying new things, but the truth of the matter is that I am terrified of big changes. I was a mess for a whole year when I started college - stressing about being away from home and all of my classes. I overcame this with time, but now being in the working world has been difficult. With the economy the way it was when I graduated, I ended up taking on shorter term jobs (about 7 months each) and then doing temp work. I was always incredibly nervous upon starting. Now my temp job has lead to a permanent position which I took because it is a great company and I know the experience will be valuable in the long-term, but my body has been beyond stressed since I made the decision. I had already been with the company 2 months so I know most of the people already, but I think I am just nervous about learning all of the new things I need to take over. I've been waking up in the night with my heart pounding, have barely been able to eat anything, and just feel like I want to cry all of the time. I know I should be able to handle the job since they chose me after seeing my work performance, but it is such an irrational fear I can't shake. I have debated making up excuses so I can get out of the position but know I really just need to give it more of a chance. I think I focus on the "big picture" and feel like I have to stay there forever...I really just need to learn to take it day by day and not get overwhelmed.
Thanks again for all of your support and help, and for making me realize I'm not alone (and that it will get better). I think I will definitely take the advice to celebrate different time milestones with gifts to myself :)
Also, keep in mind that other people do not know how you feel, others see you totally different than we see ourselves. They may see you as a very confident social person...they have no idea who you are, so a new job really is a good fresh new start. Even if you pretend you are confident, then that's is how most will see you, and it may then even help you feel confident. I have a problem thinking everyone is better, smarter, have better lives and are not going through all that I am...but none of that is true...we all have problems. I need to take my own advice..lol its hard though.
Reading all this post made me understand the fact that i am not the only one going thru this...
I had a wonderful life when i was working abroad, somewhat i had to leave and return to my home country. I started work in a firm with the help of my friend, it only lasted for 3 weeks and i was out of there, at that time the fear wasnt the cause rather it was the deal that went bad. I started working weeks after that in a bigger and more stable firm, with all the perks and senior management position that i always wanted, somewhat my gut feeling says that this is not the job that i want to do or see myself doing over the next few years. I have major problems getting myself to work, i just cant express how i feel anymore. Just feel like leaving my job and returning back home. Even tried calling back my former company and they are willing to get me back.. Just dont know how to get hold of myself. Every morning i just feel like not returning to work. The fear of working kills me and my emotions. I am worried tht my reputation will be gone if i ever leave this job... I have never job hopped, have been working with my previous company for 6 good years, prior to that for 10 years in the company tht i started my caree with. Adjusting to the changes is difficult. My mental state is affected, been unwell since i started. Whats your advice Guys..
after my first day i cried like a little bitch. 5 1/2 yrs later i still hated that job and was able to finally leave. I thanked God for my last day even when i did not know when it would be. Now I start a new job next week and am filled with anxiety. After reading this forum I am doing better and going to give it a try. I don't have advice per say but knowing we are not alone was the biggest help to me. I guess trying to figure out if I am just nervous or if this job is really not for me is the advice. someone told me the other day. worry is like a rocking chair. there is a lot of motion but you don't get any where. GL to you!
oh yeah, when i get some much nervous energy.. i exercise. Channel it into something positive. GL ALL!!
Hello all, my names Kelly. I have suffered with severe anxiety/depression before but i think that was the result of medication i was on at the time as there was no trigger and when i stopped the meds, the anxiety subsided and i've been fine since. Until now! i have just had my boyfriend move in with me and my mum until we save enough money to buy our own place and i'm finding that difficult enough and now i have just started a NEW JOB :O which i know i can do but i am getting this anxiety that is crippling me and i'm so scared i'll return to that dark hole, i worry and worry till it makes me sick, my back aches like crazy, i feel run down and i am so shaky and tearful :( i was so proud of myself for overcoming the anxiety i had last year and i'm so fearful of it returning.
Everyone is really nice at work, i've only done 1 day so i should really give myself a break, i try positive thinking but it is so hard.
My hours of work are very different from what i was used to also and my boyfriend is also stressed from the move and its all getting on top of me .
I won't give up just yet but i'm struggling to hide the anxiety, and i don't want to start having panic attacks again as i need the money soo bad.
I'm sure i'll get through this but i can't help but feel envious of all those that don't seem to suffer with anxiety at all and can adapt to most things with ease.
I know how you feel. I am in a situation where I am so anxious all the time that I want to cry and throw up at the same time. I used to have a job that I loved, but was laid off in 2009 and then the company itself went belly-up. Since then, I have worked all kinds of crummy jobs--I was a server, a smoothie operator, a pharmacy tech, and a business office assistant. None of these jobs held my interest for very long, and I decided I wanted to come back to the field I was most comfortable with, which was Accounting Support. When my job as a business office assistant ended (I was there for exactly 25 days. The owner of the place was too impatient to grant me the time to grasp everything I needed to know. He WAS testing me, and I failed miserably, so he fired me), I decided to go back to temporary work. For almost six months I have been working at a company where everyone seems nice and respectful, and I have been able to go home at night feeling good about myself. However, they recently decided to put me in a more permanent position (the transition has not yet been made, so I am still technically a temp), and it has been an incredibly horrible experience. I received one week of training from someone who could not train a rock to sit still. Last week was my first week on my own, and I have been fumbling around not knowing what I am doing. I have accomplished exactly ZERO. When I try to ask my other coworkers for assistance, they don't seem to know how to give it. My immediate supervisor is the type that expects people to use their brains and not bother her. I have a meeting with her this afternoon, which I set up myself, to simply tell her that I am struggling and that something needs to be done. My coworkers all tell me I am doing the right thing by going to her, but I am so nervous and scared! I need to work, but I don't like being in this type of situation. I know it's not my fault--I have stressed several times that I have no experience in what I am doing. However, I can't help but feel like a failure. Perhaps a lot of the way I feel comes from how I was dismissed at my last job, which was unfairly. It's hard to be confident when you are fired for not having enough time to learn your job!
OMG! Didn't know this discussion actually existed. I am feeling the same. I feel so stupid whenever i go to work, and in order to not make mistakes, i have to keep reassuring and reconfirm that what i am doing is right. This makes me feel stupid. I feel nervous, and feel like i can faint any moment. I too, don't like being in this type of situation. What am I suppose to do. This is my first job, and I'm already feeling like this. What to do? I am losing confidence. My colleagues are nice, but they look mean to me.
I too am having tremendous anxiety. I have been self employed for 11 years and got a decent offer for 40 hours and benefits. Sounded good at first, but now I'm having second thoughts after giving up my private practice where I worked 50-60 hours a week and work became my life. Now I have a chance to have a steady job, salary and benefits and I am so depressed about giving up my business I'm not sure if I should follow through. I have one week in which to start the job. Feel like I'm losing freedom becoming and employee again, but did i really have that much freedom when I worked nights, weekends and hoildays?
It feels reassuring to stumble here and see some experiences that sound parallel to those I've had. Im a recent grad and Im having to confront my job anxiety head on for the first time. I've only worked briefly at a couple jobs while at school, none of which were a positive experience because of this exact anxiety. Im at a complete loss at how to be new and inexperienced. At every job I've had I've felt embarrassed because there have been times when I've done the wrong thing, or not been doing something I apparently should have known I should be doing, and in my personal case of anxiety, embarrassment is a huge issue for me and traumatizes me. When I make a mistake, that is when I either want to cry or run away and not come back....so of course making mistakes becomes a HUGE fear and I want be in control of everything I do and starting a new job is completely putting yourself at the mercy and control of others. My other huge fear is being asked to do something I feel I cant do. Not technical things - but say someone asks you 'go next door and ask for ____'....for most people this is easy. For me with social anxiety issues - this is paralyzing. And I dont know how to deal with those issues - how do you say you CANT do something like that at a job?
Are you a recent college graduate or high school graduate? What did you study? You didn't mention or clarify and I think it would give us all a better idea of what you are dealing with. It's always better to have a little more detail, just so anyone offering a reply can get a grasp of what's going on.
You have more issues going on than job anxiety (from your writing) and it is hard enough to deal with any of those things separately. Combine them and you have a challenge. But not one that can't be achieved.
You mentioned that in a job you feel you are at the "mercy and control of others". Not unless you let them be in control of you. When you are hired for a position, the people already working there are GLAD to see you come in the door. Nine times out of ten, many of them had to do extra work to compensate for the vacant position so they are happy that you are there to ease their work loads. That sounds to me like YOU are in control, doesn't it? And in fact, you are. Because at any moment of any day, you can tell them all to take a hike and walk out the door and never look back. It's probably why I never, ever bring personal items for my desk -- I like the control it gives me to instantly walk out if I really, really have to. And for me, having that little power and control gets me through the hard times.
I wish you well on your job hunt.
Hi, I have been at a new job for about a week and am feeling similar anxiety/jitters that are worse than I've ever had at any other new job before. I am 26 and just recently left a job I was quite comfortable in (lots of fun, friendly people, comfortable with work, nice boss, easy hours) to take a job in a different field that is more professional, has more growth opportunities, better $ and benefits, etc.
But from day 1, I've felt this horrible anxiety and have to hold back tears sometimes at my desk! The atmosphere is very uptight, conservative, and strict. People don't seem very friendly and there is just this very tense, stressful atmosphere to the office. I used to work for a place where my superiors were like family to me, and always respectful and caring. Now I feel like the superiors at my new job are very rude and talk down to their assistants and have ridiculous expecations of them. They make me stay until after 6pm, where as at my old job, we were always all out the door at 5pm on the dot. Even just adusting to the extra couple of hours is difficult and again, I feel severe anxiety whenever I so much as tihnk about it!
My question for the group is this: do you think I should stick it out here for a while, or should I talk to my old boss about coming back? I feel so embarassed trying to get my old job back after just 1 week, but I also worry I've made a terrible choice and that maybe I'll lose my chance to go back if they hire someone to fill my old position. I'm such a mess over this, any suggestions or advice? Thank you!
It wouldn't hurt to at least talk to your old boss. At least that way you defininately know whether you would be able to go back to your old job or not. Putting at least one uncertainty out of the way does help. I know, I have done it. Knowing you may be unhappy at your new job may inspire him/her to keep the position open just a little longer. Be honest and upfront.
Job environments unfortunately are one of the things you don't get to find out about until you are actually at the job. I went from a private sector job to a state job and boy was it a culture shock. In time, I got use to it and have adapted very well. I am sure in time you can too.
Did they tell you about overtime during the interview? If not, then I would sit down with someone you do feel comfortable with there and have a discussion. For me, I selected one person that I felt was no nonsense and professional to talk to about such things. Today, we are good work friends.
Remember that in this anxious time, you are really in control. It sounds like you thought the job was a really good opportunity, otherwise, you would have never responded to the job opening.
Your new employer knew full well your qualifications and background when they hired you. Sometimes, we think they are expecting so much from us because we expect so much from ourselves. Unless you sit down and ask them, you won't know what they expect and that may be another good idea. Calmly sit down with your supervisor and ask what their expectations are and how well you are doing so far. Since it's only been a week, they may not have much to say, but at least it opens a one-on-one dialog and lets them know you are sincere in your job responsibilities.
I hope everything works out well for you.
I've been working as a claims adjuster with an insurance/case management company for 2 years now. I've always been interested in getting into the IT field. I've taken numerous classes more than 4 years ago but never completed my degree. We didn't have an IT person in my office as our IT person worked in one of our other offices about 150 miles away and would come into our office every couple of weeks. I assisted with setup and installs in between visits. His job recently came open so I applied and without a formal interview I got it. I was so excited when I accepted it about a week ago but as the days pass I'm getting more and more on edge. The job is really out of my experience and skill level. Couple of nights ago just thinking about it I thought I was going to faint my hear was beating so fast. Think this was probably my first panic attack and I haven't even started the job. I have so many doubts right now as I know I don't have the skills and experience this job requires. My wife tells me, like someone else on here mentioned, they didn't hire me because of what I know but what they feel I can learn. I'm pretty much stuck now as my old position has already been filled and even if it wasn't It would be embarrasing to back out and ask for that old job back since it's with the same company. I'm also incredibly worried about letting down the people high up in the company that have taken a chance on me by offering me this job. I've performed really well with this company in my previous position. Employee of the month and nominated somewhere around 10 times in the last two years. I feel maybe I've set the bar really high and that company has really high expectations for me that I may not be able to meet now. I think maybe once I get into the job and get the training process started and see what's expected of me that I'll feel better but right now I wish like hell I had just kept my old job.
Oh boy do I know how you feel. I had a boss that figured because I went to school for what he generalized as "computers", that I would know everything about every computer related field there was. Here I was, a Credit Manager, going to school at night for computer networking and he wanted me to work on all the company's web pages. I knew nothing about HTML or how web pages were programmed, but he just gave me the responsibility and that was that.
As soon as I saw the HTML code, it was love at first sight. I had been an old Pascal programmer back in the 80's (before being a programmer was actually cool) and I hadn't found anything programming language that interested me since. Today, I am a webmaster for a state agency. And I love it. But I started from scratch just like you feel you are.
As time passed, I earned my webmasters certificate. Here I was studying one thing and was totally side tracked into another. BUT, I have learned in life to roll with the punches and I have found that better things come my way when I simply open myself up to the possibilities.
I understand your anguish. Your feeling of hopelessness. Your fear. But you can overcome all of these. And YES, you will learn quite a bit at this new job probably (Keep a notebook of everything you do and how you did it....at least for a while. Our Network person had to do that because he encountered plenty of things they just don't teach you in any college.). In IT, there is always something you may not know. that's what Google is for. If you don't know it, find it and learn how. Just be resourceful.
It sounds to me like you are willing to learn. Believe me, the joy and pride you will feel by solving your first "crisis" for someone will far out weigh anything you feel right how.
This is the 2nd time in a year that I am starting a new job. Thanks everyone for their thoughts and sharing similar feelings about this topic. Last year it took me a few months to adapt to my new job- but I think much of my anxiety and stress regarded the "What if's...." of my job and all the things that could go wrong. I started reading Eckhart Tolle's book, "The Power of Now" and how to try focusing on the present moment and nothing more. If I could handle the present moment-then I would never have anything to fear. And eventually-if I didn't like my job, situation, then I could always change it. Thanks again everyone!
The search that brought me here was "starting a new job anxiety", though I can totally relate to the person who searched "why do I want to cry everytime I start a new job"! I'm starting a new job this week after being an at home mom for 8 years. My job involves working with children and has a lot of responsibility. I have a strong background in many parts of my work but there are always new or unexpected things that come up working with kids. I know it's unreasonable to expect myself to know it all and do a perfect job but that's what I want to do. I need to keep explaining to myself that there is time for me to learn new things. Right after I accepted the offer, I started feeling very panicky.
Here's what I've been doing to help keep the anxiety at bay: I made a therapy appointment (I usually go once every couple of months but more frequently when needed), refilled my ativan prescription (which I only take when things are too out of control), and called a few friends. Then I spent a few hours hanging out with a friend, just chatting and occasionally talking about my upcoming job. I have learned over the years to ignore any thought that comes in the middle of the night - no point increasing my anxiety at a time that I'm least able to fight it. I count backwards by 3s or other distracting task. Another thing that helps is to remind myself that I made the decision to get the job when I was clear-thinking and I should not second-guess it now that my brain is all muddled with anxiety.
Thanks for having the same issues as I have. It helps me to know that other people feel this way and to see how you all are coping. I will continue to fight for a clear head and encourage you as you do the same.
I'm very glad on finding this tread and knowing I'm not the only one having these issues.
I left a job after 5 months due to this. plus other organizational issues within the company that made my job not rewarding or having the feeling of not acomplishing anything at the end of the day.
What is sad is that I made tons of friends on that job and the people training me never quit on me but I quit on them. Its very sad. I was working with the builder of the year in my city.
I've been on tears for the last 2 days. and I'm close to my mid 30's
the new job is a step up in my career, still on the same position but the duties are way better (at least on paper, I have to see on Monday when I start) and more money with more career development. the organization is way better too.
I should not be afraid on failing on this job since I have done this for years and one company that I worked for 3 years, the person training me had worked in this company before. This person told me that I would do fine since he taught me all I need to know.
Still, I feel afraid of failing or people expecting a lot from me.
Reading this tread has helped a lot in dissipating these issues.
Thank you all
I recently was on the termination list at my job. I had been there 14 years and worked managing a call center. At the last minute I was offered a job in Marketing as an Alliance Manager. A totally different division of the company. I don't work in the office with anyone in my division. I can work at home but chose to continue to go into the office in my area. At the same time I ended a 17 year relationship. I am 62 years old and am so concerned that I am not going to be able to do this job. It is completely different and they talk software.hardware and everyone seems to expect that I should know it all - I was not sleeping at night and the first month now seems like a dream or nightmare. After getting medication from the Dr. to help me sleep, some things are starting to make sense. However, as I have never actually met anyone I work with or anyone who is training me, I am constantly stressed every day. I just know that they all think I am stupid. I have been trying to deep breathe, go outside for a few minutes and just about anything else I can think of to calm me. I have to have this job. I was so lucky to get it at the same pay plus bonus. I am just so out of my comfort zone. I feel like I am starting over and do not know anything. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to retain all the information you are being given when it is all phone and e-mail training??
For me, it would be really difficult to retain information like that without the support of training face-to-face. How impersonal and almost insulting not to be given that kind of interaction when you're trying to learn new job duties and skills. It probably feels like you have no one to turn to when you're having difficulties. You may feel especially isolated and alone since you've just ended a longterm relationship.
As to how to retain the info, were you given a training manual to go by? That always helps me sort things out and provides a ready reference when you have questions. You might try typing up the information you have been given at the end of each day, perhaps even on your own time. That can help you remember what was said and something to refer back to. I had a job one time where I wrote a how-to manual for my own job (while I was teaching myself) in order to help the next unlucky person to come along. That gave me an additional sense of confidence and was something concrete I could do for the company over and above the requirements of my job, which always looks good when you are reviewed or looking for something to put on future resumes.
This website has helped me enormously. I will be handing in my two weeks' notice tomorrow and starting a new job in three weeks' time. I was offered a new job last night and I now feel sick and anxious. I have decided that I need to weigh up the pros and cons of my old job and my new job and that will make me feel better.
With my current job, I am completely comfortable and never at a loss as to what to do or how to handle a situation; I can do my job with my eyes shut. Nobody looks over my shoulder as long as I keep on top of things. The company is really stable and I would never lose my job. Unfortunately, the pay is terrible and my co-workers gossip about other employees and whisper amongst themselves. Our office recently relocated and my travel time (and petrol bill) has increased hugely.
My new job is ten minutes from home and the pay is fantastic! I will need to learn new programs and I am really worried that I will be a slow learner and disappoint my new employer. I am waiting for them to phone me and say they made a mistake!
Some of the best advice I have gleaned from this message board is that I am not being employed for my ability to do the job right now, rather my potential to do the job in the near future. Apparently, I beat hundreds of applicants and passed the interview and testing quite well. I need to convince myself that I deserve this new job!
I think my anxiety lies in my lack of confidence in my own abilities and my fear of not being brilliant at the job on my first day. I am trying to tell myself that the HR department saw something in me that I don't see myself.
Thank you so much to all who have shared here - it's really helped me. Take care!
Congratulations on your new job!
I know how you feel, I almost went back to a job in a supermarket instead of taking my present job which is in a technical field. Why? Anxiety. I am glad I made myself stick with it; of course, I have a grandson that I am supporting and that really was a driving force for me. But believe me, many times during that first week I thought begging for my old job back. I wouldn't bring in personal items to put on my desk because I wanted to be ready at a moment's notice to pick up and leave if I wanted to. Eventually, that anxiety faded away and my grandson's drawings adorn my office walls. Next month, I will celebrate my 3rd year anniversary here and it's the best thing I have ever done for my family and my career. I am glad I didn't let my anxiety win!
You're right, no one expects you to walk in on the first day and know everything. You were hired on your qualifications and experience. There's always a learning curve, it doesn't matter how experienced you are. I don't think I have ever walked into a place whose procedures and programs were exactly the same as the last place I worked. But if you learned one, you can learn another. And I bet it won't take as long as you think either.
I found a job the opposite distance as you did. I went from driving 10-15 minutes away from my home to having to drive 45 minutes now. It's all good, it gets routine. But lucky you, you get to save on gas! AND if you are ever feeling like you want to go home for lunch, that option is there.
Good luck to you on your new job. After beating out so many other people, you have to have faith that the HR dept. knew what they were doing. They believe in you, now you have to believe in you!
Best of luck! Robin
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me. I had my first day at my new job today. Not once did I think that I wanted to go back to my old job!
I am feeling a little overwhelmed as all the computer programs are different from what I'm used to but I know it will soon become second nature as it did in my old job. As you said, if you can learn one, you can learn another.
Everyone in my department (and everyone else I've come across) has been very nice to me and they don't expect me to know everything right away - I hope anyone else reading this thread will take note of that! You put the pressure on yourself, it's not usually coming from other people!
Anita from New Zealand.
Good for you Anita! I am glad you are doing well and with that positive attitude, things will only get better.
Update - have moved to Perth, Australia after a relationship breakup in Auckland, New Zealand. Living a new and very happy life and meeting so many new people. I feel sure my future is here although I have been home three times since moving over due to family illness. Tired but happy! Am working in the health industry and can see a proper career ahead of me now. I hope all the people here are working through things and managing to be happy.
I'm so glad i stumbled across this site. Like many of you I thought I was the only one feeling like this. I quit my last job, which i loved, and which was my first one in the dental industry, to move across the world from America to London to be with my fiancee. I havent worked in over 7 months now and i'm absolutely debilitatingly petrified about finding a job here. I have never depended on public transportation IN MY LIFE and have many anxieties about working in such a big city. I feel like curling up and never leaving bed and I cry all the time. I have such bad anxiety when it even comes to going to interviews that I talk myself out of them before I even agree to the interview. I feel like I'm letting my now husband and his family (who we live with) down if I dont find a job, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pull myself to. All I want to do is run back home, back to my old job, and back to the comforts of all that i'm used to. but I know that I cant break apart my new marriage like that all because i'm too anxious to find work. but i just dont know what to do, and i keep getting this feeling to just put it off, but i know that isn't going to help anyone. I feel like living/working in a big city like London has always been my dream, and so many would love to be going to job interviews in a city like this, but i can't honestly think of any place scarier to work :(
I had worked for my previous employer since 2000. In 2009 I had a baby and went on maternity leave for 1 full year. After my mat leave was up I didn't go to work right away because work was slow and I wasn't needed. After a few months my boss called and offered me a couple shifts here and there. Since I didn't have a babysitter for my son and my husband works full time, a couple of shifts a week were ok for me. Then I was offered a position at another company to work every other weekend. I thought this new position would be a good addition to the other shifts I would be working at my old job. Of course the anxiety started! Even if I only worked every other weekend at this new job it still stressed me out to the max! I dreaded going to work there. I would cry to my husband all the time and wouldn't even be able to sleep at night properly! So after about 23 shifts I quit! I figured I could survive with just the little hours I was getting at my old job. You know how much weight was lifted from my shoulders when I left that job? I felt so good and so free that I didn't have to work there! I was so happy...UNTIL my old job closed last month So I was forced to find work! Right now I am at a new job which again is bringing me back to the place I was when I started my last 'new job'. The anxiety and sleepless nights, and the sweats have started all over again. I hate it! I hate this feeling! I feel like crying just thinking about it! When I'm at work I try to think of things that make me happy...like my little boy...but that makes me want to cry even more because I would rather be at home with him than at work! I am so very tempted to give up and quit again. How long does it take to get over this? Or does it even get better? Cause I don't see myself getting over this crappy feeling!
Well, to answer your question about how long it will take you...no one can answer that because everyone is different. It's probably somewhere in between now and never. Neither one are valid options, so it's somewhere in between. That's not much help to you now, but day by day, it will get better. Time has a way of healing mostly everything or at least give us time enough to forget, so I am pretty confident that eventually, you will get out of the state you are in right now.
Many of us have been right where you are. It's a yucky place to be. I wish I could tell you there is a magic pill or that there is one thing that you could do....but there isn't. For all of us, different things avert our attention off our current situation. I use a reward system while that might not work for other people. Being that your past employer closed, I bet that's another upsetting thing. You can't rely on them any more. Now you are faced with unemployment or the new job.
One thing that oftentimes rings true is that when one door closes, another one opens. I have found in my experiences that if I open myself up to possibilities, better things come my way. More things come my way. And I feel better about myself. Again...that's me. What do you think?
You will get through this like many other things you had to conquer. Like being a new mom. And eventually, the new job will be the old, comfortable one. Just like waking up for the 2am feeding became routine.
Best of luck to you and stick with it.
I'm going to save this page and read it everytime my anxiety starts to build. your words are very uplifting and positive, and I know they will help me through all this. thank you so much!
I am happy you find my words helpful. I am just speaking honestly and from similiar experiences.
I have a print out taped to my desk of examples of "warped" thinking. Every now and then, when I get angry at a coworker for being a "jerk", I read it and it helps. It makes me realize that my thinking is flawed and sends me down an alternative path of thinking. It really, really helps.
Positive affirmation is a good tool, so find other writings you like and post them in your office or have them in a wallet, purse or taped inside a locker, for example, so you can read them when you need to. That's an excellent idea to redirect your thinking and it does help get through those tough times.
Good for you for thinking of a positive thing to do!!! You should be proud of yourself and with that positive attitude, you will be successful in overcoming the anxiety.
Good luck and keep up the good work!!!
Hi. I am exactly the same way and feel the same emotions and anxiety whenever I start a new job. I always look back at the other past jobs I've had and how comfortable I was and why I had to leave. I started a contract positon about 4 months ago and that was nerve-racking. What was worse was that it was a different type of work that I'm used and I was in unfamiliar territory. My first day, I felt lost, confused and overwhelmed with all the different procedures and processes I had to learn. I felt this way for about a month. I didn't think I it would get better. I eve tried to start looking for a new job so I can get away from what I was feeling. After a while, I felt better and started to get used to how things were done and as soon as I started getting the approval of my colleagues and got to them better, everything started to normalize.
As I type this, I am feeling the same things all over again because I start a new job tomorrow, a new full-time job with benefits. I know this is a great opportunity but at the same time I feel nervous and anxious. My heart rate is up and my nervousness is starting to increase. I'm starting to feel all the same anxiety and fear I felt just four months ago when I practically cried to wife because of the fear I felt. I know it may be tough for me in the beginning but at the same time I know as the days go by and will get used to my new job, the people and work and things will get better. That's all I think about and look forward to, the day when I can just go to work in the morning and feel ok. Just think positive, and as tough as it is, fight the anxiety and just do the best you can. Before you know it, you will have been at your new job for months or maybe even years. I'm just glad I'm not alone and know that there are people out there who I can relate to and can relate to me. Take care and stay strong.
I know how you feel. Literally. Knowing we have made it through the anxiety before does help, but it doesn't negate the feelings. After I read your posting, I started to wonder what common thread most of us could have to cause this anxiety in the first place. There has to be some reason why we feel this way and others don't.
I looked again at my first posting, the one that started this whole blog, and it was the day I started this job. I had forgotten about that. I was at the height of panic then. Gradually, things got better, as you said. For me they always do. I would imagine for most of us that's true.
It does help to know we are not alone. That we aren't the only person in the world feeling the fear and anxiety for the same reason.
Hats off to all of us who have been through it. To those of us who are struggling now. To those of us who stuck it out and are happy in our jobs. It's not an easy battle; fighting within ourselves.
Best of luck to you Angelo. You can do this.
Just thought I would follow up with everyone about my particular problem. My anxiety got so bad about quitting the job I went to the Dr., and he gave me some anti anxiety medication. Boy did that help make it through the last 2 weeks. Funny thing is, here I was all worried about what my HR department would do, and when I went in to give my 2 week notice they let me go the same day. Goes to show most people are just straight replaceable to most corporations.
Also what I have some to realize about anxiety is that you really just have to start recognizing distorted thinking. That is a major role in anxiety. I read the book "feeling good" by David burns ( in 2 days time) a week before I put my notice in. The book has numerous chapters dealing with anxiety and distorted thinking. It really,really helped me get through my ordeal.
My next step is starting my new job which will be in one week’s time. I already feel better about the situation. Because I just feel so good about just not having to step into my old depressing oppressive workplace. It really did feel good driving away from there for the last time. It just takes a leap of faith and courage.
Good luck everyone.
Good for you!
I think the book you are referring to is "Feeling Good. The New Mood Thearpy"? I also have read that book and it was awesome. I also went online to a place called "Mood Gym" and at that website they go over various "warped thoughts" and definitions. I keep it taped to a pullout table in my desk at work and whenever something makes me angry, I pull it out and read it. It helps.
FYI, many states require employers to pay the resigning employee for the two weeks notice they gave, when they tell that employee to leave on that same day. You might want to check into it.
I am glad you not only started feeling a little bit better, but you also did some research to help yourself. You should be very proud.
I am happy you followed up with us and keep up the good work!
Wow I'm am so glad everyone has shared on this topic I can definetly relate. I start a new job on May 9th. I've been in my field for 20 years, my current employer loves me and wants to keep me but the environment here is so unstable and is going to unravel at some point so I started looking and found something 10 times better, SAME JOB, more pay, better benifits, awesome location and office envirornment, family freindly, no overtime, they even give out trips for employees. I am just so anxious and what I read hear is so true people who are conscientious and care also have anxiety. I'm afraid it will be too much, I won't understand, I can't do it, what if I can't I'll get fired, what if, what if. and I know after a while I will feel different but it doesn't help the aniexty now. I think I am driving my husband crazy and I feel crazy. I keep going over what I've done and things I know and telling myself I can do hard things. So thanks for the posts I'm not alone thank GOD!! and Thanks Robin!
Yep, I know your pain. Or should I say anxiety. My current job is with a state environmental agency. I was so proud to be picked over the people that applied and then it hit me. Oh God, I have to start a new job. New people. New procedures. AND I had never worked for the state before. ARGHHHHHH!!!
I hated my first week. I kept hearing my mom's words ringing in my ears..."work the job for a week, if you don't like it, look for something else". Ok, what part of "I will be miserable all the while" doesn't she get? But you know, at the end of the week, things got better. I am working on being here for 3 years and it's one of my favorite jobs ever. I love the people. I love the work.
You know what I have seemed to notice? People who are really experienced and qualified seem to have the most anxiety about new jobs. Interesting. I guess we are so anxious about being good at what we do, that we seem to excell. I never hear clueless people talk about their anxiety of a new job. They are probably anxious about something else. =:o)
Anyway, Jennifer, you will do great in your new job. It's the SAME job with better pay and better benefits. You will have to learn a few new procedures, do things a little differently maybe. But you can do it. And NO, you are definitely NOT alone.
Here's a tip.......on the first day, bring in a dozen of donuts. Nothing makes instant friends like donuts!!
Best of luck to you!
This may sound like a stupid comment, because I have not been able to work since 2004 when I went on disability for mental illness. I quit about 10 jobs because of job-related anxiety. But one thing that did help me was to tell myself and my boss that I was working to make him/her successful, that this is what I was there for. It made it easier to do the tough stuff knowing I was helping someone else be successful. And of course, when you make your boss a success you become a prized employee! The problem I had was when I got bosses who didn't let me know what they wanted me to do, like I was supposed to figure it out by myself. How could I make them a success if I was given no instruction? But in a case like that I felt it was more their fault that I didn't stay, not my own. It is difficult when you feel like you don't know enough to get the job done, but most jobs have a "learning curve" where you have time to get used to your environment and job tasks and associates.
I can feel everyone's pain! My earliest memories are of being anxious and scared; the first day of school. I cried and threw up and was miserable. Since then, I have struggled with anxiety and panic; I am now in my 40's. I put off going to college until I was 39, but managed to "get my act together" and got my Master's degree in Clinical Social Work in only 5 years. Found a counseling position before I even graduated, but was TERRIFIED of starting over again in something new! I went to 2 colleges and 1 university to get my degree; so that meant new change each time I completed a degree. I also had to pass 2 licensure exams to be able to practice. MAJOR anxiety. The first year and a half in practice was scary and I was nervous and sick most of that time. However, I managed to help my clients overcome their anxiety, yet had trouble with my own. I have now been a mental health therapist for the past 6 years and have grown to be respected and skilled in my profession. I love what I do; however, I am woefully underpaid and recently applied for a new job on a federal level; a supervisory position. I was interviewed last week and was told that I received the highest scores of the other applicants. Sounds like I should be thrilled, right? And since I am a therapist, I should be able to handle change and my fears? WRONG! I haven't even been offered the position and I am scared to death that they WILL offer me the position! Having difficulty with change in the past has only caused me to fear change again. And nobody can be their own "effective therapist." LOL. Anyone have any ideas on how to conquer this fear of actually getting the job and NOT KNOWING WHAT I'M DOING?????? I don't want to stay at a job just because I am afraid of change or worse, failure.
IF you get offered the job, it's because you were the best applicant for it. Apparently your skills, education and references put you ahead of the rest of the pack. So if you do get it, congrats.
I find it amazing that so many of us, myself definately included, devalue our own contributions while we have no problem appreciating others accomplishments. For me, it is because I had a controlling, nerve-wracking father who was on my ass from morning to night about anything and everything. I was a good kid, never got into trouble, never got into drugs, but I could never do anything right anyway. To this day, I cannot recognize any good I do, even though people tell me otherwise. Will I ever change? Probably not. But I can at least recognize it now.
What does this have to do with work? Lots. I am continuously trying to prove myself and when I get a new job, here I go all over again, having to win everyone over and prove that I am "worthy". All I ever did as a young adult was wait for my father's attention, wait for his approval and while it never came, I kept trying and trying. Recently, I wrote him off and basically disowned him. I feel tons better. The most difficult thing is to figure out why this is happening and believe me, it takes time.
What can I suggest? If you get offered the job, go for it! I think all the regret you will feel afterwards is enough motivation to stick it out for a while and make a go of it. Unfortunately, there's no magic wand for anxiety. If there was, you my dear would be out of business. If past experiences of overcoming this challenge doesn't help you, then I always go with a reward system. It just depends on what motivates you. For me it can be a video game or dinner out.(Video games relax me great deal -- even at 50 years old!) It could be a new electronic gadget. Those are the things that I like. For you, it's probably something different. A massage? A manicure? A pint of Ben and Jerry's?
Ask yourself if you feel that the anxiety you feel at the new job on the first day will be the same in a week? Two weeks? A Year? It's a tempoary situation and I guess you just have to determine whether the new job is worth the discomfort.
Good luck to you.
Robin, I can relate to your description of your father. Mine wasn't all over my ass, he just ignored me and had a negative comment for everything that I ever attempted. I just wanted his approval and wanted to know that he was proud of me. I have carried that "less than" feeling with me for most of my adult life. I keep telling myself that " a job is just that; a job," nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't define me and it doesn't make me who I am as a person. What I can give back is what defines me; and I do that everyday when working with clients. "IF" I get offered the job, I will stiffen my backbone and continue to tell myself that I "won't surely die if I am anxious and nervous." LOL I feel terrified every time I have to deal with change and it hasn't killed me yet. Thanks for the kind words......
Good Luck, Snoop. I am cheering you on and hoping for a smooth transition if you get the position you were speaking of. You can do this.....it's like a therapist told me in the past, "It's highly unlikely that you .....". Those words stayed with me for about 15 years now. At the time, traveling to new places alone terrorized me. I would get sick and spin myself into the ground. When she asked me what I feared, I told her that my fear was never getting home. She told me that it was highly unlikely that would happen. Those simple words stayed with me. So let me give those words to you.....It's highly unlikely that you won't do a great job and that you won't fit in, if you get offered that position. Sure, it will feel awful for a while, but you can do it. And while you won't die over it, it's uncomfortable and gut-wrenching. So treat yourself for your accomplishments. God knows, you deserve it. You are helping people every day which is truly a gift. I'd like to think that "someone up there" guides us all, so if you do get this job, it's for the greater good. You do have a contribution to society and you are easing peoples' pain every day. You do good work, people need you.
Again, I am pulling for you. If you do get this job, keep me posted. Good Luck!
My best, Robin
I got the job. I was on a "stress free" weekend vacation this past weekend, (thurs-sun) and got a call from the HR dept where I had applied. I knew what was coming when I saw the name come up on the caller ID and I almost freaked out! When I answered, they identified themselves and told me that I had been selected for the position. There was a LONG pause before I could say anything and it was an awkward silence for us both. lol. I finally replied, "OK" and I felt like an idiot for hesitating. I don't have a start date yet; I have to have a physical and drug test; standard procedure for a fed job. I expect I will start in June sometime; I have a lot of clients to transition and want to do right by my clients. Yes, I am nervous and quite terrified, but I am trying to tell myself what a wonderful opportunity this is. More pay, more benefits, room for advancement and retirement benefits. I am quite sure that the true panic hasn't set in yet, but I am trying to calm myself and utilize my support systems. Just wanted to tell everyone that yes, I am GETTING READY TO EMBARK ON ANOTHER SCARY JOURNEY THAT WILL SCARE ME TO DEATH! My saddest moments will be when I have to tell my clients that I will be leaving......:(
Congratulations! I know this is a scary time; for me the anticipation of starting a new job is one of the worst parts, but you will get through it.
I am not sure if this is your first government position, but if it is, I can imagine that the anxiety could be exacerbated by the change from the private sector to a federal postion. A double whammy! I went from the private sector to a state position, so I do feel some of your pain. You know what? I got use to it. (I still shake my head a lot. lol) Something tells me, you will do just fine.
Being accepted for a federal position is quite an achievement and honor. You have been selected over many, many applicants and without a doubt are the best for that position. If you can't believe in yourself during this time, believe in the hiring body. They definitely scruitinized you and your experience, qualifications and education, so you "got it going on" girl!
I know it will be difficult to leave your clients. Some will be cool with it and some will have a hard time. But you can't live your life for others. This change in positions is ultimately your destiny and therefore some greater good is on the horizon. Maybe I am just a dreamer, but I like to think that everything happens for a reason and that this is simply the time for you to move on and for your clients to move on as well.
Oh and don't worry about the awkward silence between "you got the job" and "ok". Its better than what a friend of mine did, someone called her to tell her they wanted to schedule an interview and she said "Yeah, can you hold on a minute, I am in the middle of flushing a fish down the toilet". I would simply assume your silence was surprise if I was the HR person. Or that I caught you in the middle of something. Whatever they thought, more than likely, they have forgotten all about it by now.
Try to combat some of the anxiety by, maybe, going to get a new coffee cup for your office, some new pens, some fresh flowers for your first day. We have to set ourselves up for success, right? This is a wonderful opportunity for you and I again, congratulate your success. Good for you!!!
Keep me posted on your progress and the hurdles you overcome. You can do this and you are not alone.
My best wishes for the beginning of a successful and rewarding career!
WOW i didnt know so many people ha this , i thought i was going nuts,but my trouble is a little different ,i had my own small business for about 8 years now,and now im getting back into a trucking job , and i have had the WORST anxiety and fears of leaving home.
i have beem taking anxiety pills , but im not sure how ill get started in the work place agan , im suppose to start tomorrow , really freaking me out.
I, too, have recently just started a new job after I left behind a comfortable position with a large company I love and people I generally liked.
This new position has me terrified. I took on a job as an restaurant manager, and even though I have roughly ten years prior experience of working in restaurants, any time I start something new, it's a somewhat terrifying experience.
It's always nice to read that other people are in the same situation and/or have felt the same way. There is always comfort in knowing you aren't the only person with these emotions.
People always say change isn't a bad thing, and for the most part, I agree. I'm only 24 however, and any change at this point in my life is a very scary time, especially when going at it alone.
Try and look at it from a long term perspective. I know when people say "two years from now", etc...but think about it. Time seems to be speeding up as we get older, and a few years will both fortunatly and unfortunatly be here sooner then we expect.
My advice is to first understand you are not the only one who feels like this. It's common, and although that might not neccesarily make it easier, understand that the way you feel is perfectly normal. Myself, and most other people who have replied on this thread have been in the same scenario.
Next, try and not focus on your last job. You left for a reason. Whether you were underpaid, under appreciated, or even terminated (assuming the latter isn't the case because you mentioned calling them), don't focus on it. The anxiety will pass, and assuming you wrote your initial thread two years ago, I'm hoping for my sake as well as yours that is has lol.
Let your new co-workers know you mean buisness, and that this isn't a a short term portion of your life. Most people fear change, and they see new employees as a threat. Don't let that bother you, as it's not your concern. You were hired by THEIR boss(es). That means they believe in you, and over time, your ability to contribute to their company. It wont happen overnight, and your boss(es) are very aware of that. You aren't their to make friends. Of course it's always a plus if you like the people you work with, and can eventually build a friendship. But that is down the road.
You do what you need to do, and focus on yourself. You have enough tasks, as does anyone starting a new job. The rest will work itself out. It always does! I promise.