I am exactly the same way.  I suffer from horrendous anxiety at "change".  I recently moved 500 miles away and started a job an hour away, and all I can do is sob on my way to work and push myself to try my utmost hardest to push forward.  The mornings are the absolute worst, and it takes Hercules strength to get myself going.  When I am at work I am still upset even if it is going well.  I worry about future responsibilities and doing everything perfectly.  It is exhausting... I have tons of xanax but never take any because I don't want to feel weak.  I hope in a few weeks this anxiety subsides, but life is living hell right now. I don't understand why my other co-workers (who also just started) can eat their lunch everyday and seem perfectly fine.  I am so envious of them.  My anxieties snowball into worries of being institutionalized, homeless, or unloved and full of shame.  I think about killing myself daily and I am not sure how much more I can take.  I used to go to a shrink but it is too expensive now that I am on my own (just finished college).  I am hopeful these feelings will go away...Just remember you are NOT alone and there are others just like you that wish they were in personal contact with you.  You have my sympathy and compassion!

Me too i have just started a new job this is the 3rd job i have had and was so sick of my old job i was treated terribly by the directors i never got sick pay was surrounded in mice in an office because they stopped the cleaners and was taking on job roles for other people who had been sacked so i got a new job and i know this job is a brilliant career oppertunity for me with more money better benefits etc but every morning when i wake up from the little sleep i have had from the worry i feel like bursting into tears and i dread going into work. I feel like i am not being trained very well and that they are expecting too much of me considering i have been there just over a week and have no experience in this sector. I also feel like they ignore me when i try involve myself in conversations and i never get asked if i want to go to lunch or anything i sit a computer all day making myself look busy. I really want to call my old manager and go back as i was much loved and appreciated by my colleagues and knew the role so well but i will not allow myself, i know it takes at least a year to be comfortable and know the job role fully but i cant help feeling really down and like i get on everyones nerves and no one wants to know me its so horrible but hey at least we have jobs!! Maybe you should book stuff to do like me i plan to do stuff weekly so i can look forward to it and the week goes quicker. Also instead of a shrink look up on the internet how to overcome fears or maybe keep a diary of your emotions and each day express how you feel then when you get past this stage you can look back and see what all the worry was about. You'll be fine there are so many people out there who feel the same and the people in your work who are also new are probably more confident then you so it just takes time to build up. Its not a nice feeling but you dont have to stay there so dont make yourself ill about it just look after number 1. Take Care Natasha

Thank goodness for this site. I litterally am going through this exact same thing. It's so nice to know the anxious are not alone. I quit my last job because it was tense there between a few of the employees. Being the new person who just happened to be so anxiety ridden in the first place made that job so horrible. I cried so so so much. I'm horrible at being new.

 

I just started my new job a week ago, and am having a hard time already. I cried today over one mistake. Then I doubted myself.  It just sucks. I know I'm not the only one who cries at work. i only cried the 1 time. I just wish someone could be like, now, you're cured... :P

TY for the posts. It really helped. I was reading this literraly when my new job called to schedule training. If not for this site, i would have let it go to voicemail. ty again. GL to you all. HUGS!

John

 

i feel the  same way. just now i started a new job and i feel worst, i felt this a long time ago with my other past job, i quit that and made a new job, that job i didnt feel any anxiety at all because i enjoyed the company of colleuges and the thing what i did there was easier. Now at my new job, i thought i have overcome the anxiety attacks but i guess it is with me still. I dont know what to do. I wanted to cry all the time, i feel i cant do anything worthy, but i want this oppurtunity for my career but seems im strugling everytime i go to work. i hope this goes away. i feel i will make mistakes all the time and dissapoint my boss. i dont know what to do!!

Hang in there!

 

I walk around with my car keys in my pocket to this day; a little over a year ago since I started this new job. I guess I just like the control it gives me.

 

Of course, I have made friends and love the job, but getting through that anxiety period is horrible. If I can give you any advise, I'd say to hang in there and try to tollerate those terrible feelings. Do something special for yourself after a week, a month, etc...that you are there. Little rewards may help ease the anxiety.

 

It does get easier. It just doesn't seem so when you are in the middle of it happening. Try to keep telling yourself that YOU are in control. You can do anything you set your mind to. Remember, these people hired YOU because you were the best person for the job and they need you. Maybe us being needed helps with the anxiety. I guess it's all different for all of us. But stick with it. I know your pain.

 

You have us here to vent with. I will comment back as soon as I read the email that there's been another posting. We are all in this together, aren't we? We can all help each other along the way and perhaps, even figure out why we feel this way.

 

You are not alone. Maybe that will help. My best wishes are with you.

 

Robin

 

I just accepted a job 3 days after I got laid off because I was freaking out that i lost my dream job and now am stuck into the real world where I have to job search. I found this job and took it immediately because i need to pay my rent and did not want to go long without a job. I've gone to training for 2 days at the place everyone is nice but i am having MAJOR anxiety about it. I can't sleep at night and I can't relax on the weekends because I am just thinking about the job and dreading going back. My old job had me going at 1pm. which was nice for me cause im a night owl. This new job now has me starting at 8am and its such a lifestyle change and its freaking me out. Everyone is telling me to stick with it but I can't i get freaked out everynight before I have to go and i get sick because I am thinking of it too much, I worry about going there in the morning and feeling sick there and having to leave cuz I am sick and that freaks me out even more. the thing that freaks me out the most is that this job i have i am being trained at right now but i am basically on call for receptionists who call in sick or go on vacation so if they call me in and i go in im there by myself bascially and if i dont know how to do something or something im there by myself and no one can help me. I am just freaking out about everything and I dont want to do it.

Oh, boy, do I know how you feel. It's a terrible feeling that I would not wish on my worst enemy. all I can say is to try to reward yourself for staying. At the end of the week, go buy yourself something, even if it's something small. Keep actively looking for jobs more suited to you to give yourself some measure of control of your situation. And time...it does help and heal. So do stick with it and know that you are not alone..and that eventually..this will go away.

 

Good Luck!

I am in a very similar situation right now and am wondering how you have handled it?

 

Wow I didn't realise how many people feel the same way I do. I started a job this week worked two days and off today sick with anxiety and have cried for most of the day. I'm dreading going in tomorrow and feel like they've thrown me in the deep end. I'm a beauty therapist by trade but had to give it up as I've been doing it for 20 yrs and need a different career path. At the beginning of the year I had a break down due to bullying and sexual harassment and I'm guessing thats why my anxiety levels are so high. I hate feeling like this its debilitating especially when you know the people that are teaching you the job expect you to pick it up quickly. I just want this awful feeling to go away. I hate leaving the house in the morning and want so badly to just turn around and come home. I take great comfort in knowing I'm not the only one. Thanks for making me feel better about this and I'm NOT alone.  Chrissi

Sorry to hear about your losing your job. Interviews can be really overwhelming sometimes. I too know the disappointment of not being the chosen interviewee and it is definitely a little disheartening. At times like these, I always think of what a therapist told me when I was working on the issue of being lost. She asked me what was my biggest fear of getting lost and I told her that it was not getting home. She then told me something I have always remembered : It's highly unlikely that you won't find your way home. Highly unlikely. She was right and it helped. So the only words of comfort I can pass on to you is that it is highly unlikely that you will never find another job. Somewhere out there is the employer that will hire you. That said, starting a new job is traumatic, but at least getting one will put to rest the stress of not having one. I can not reiterate enough that doing anything for yourself to get through it is so important. Schedule a massage for yourself after you get your first pay check, take yourself to a favorite store, go out with friends, etc. But do something for yourself as a reward. Hopefully after a while, that job will become comfortable for you and you will want to stay rather than bribe yourself to. I know it's difficult but you have done it before; you started and got through your last job. Don't give up and just take it one day at a time. Good luck! Robin

I know exactly how you feel, i MIGHT have a job offer on the table, and i am already freaking out. The thing is, it seems like a really good place to work with great benefits...not sure why i think like this.

 

 

Yes! Yes! And Yes! I just started a new job working at the Department of Social Services which is an upgrade from my past job, however, I am unable to sleep at night because I am tense from worrying. I worry that if I don't sleep I won't be able to function properly and instantly lose respect of my superiors and subsequently fail. Although my bosses are nice, at night, when thought race through my head they become monster-like. Every night while laying in bed, I will think of all the situations that I might be able to take a nap the following day. This is horrible. It seriously feels like a form of torture. BUT, I have gone through things like this in the past and recovered well. This is a temporary experience and once things become a little familiar, it will dissipate as fast as it arose.

You are not alone. 

Brandon 

OMG! Thank God I am not the only one. I took a teaching job few days back and I feel the same. It is so embarrasing to confess but it is leading towards depression.

Well misery truly loves company!  I turned in my 2 week notice yesterday and could cry at the drop of a hat.  I am a very strong person and this totally took me off guard.  The anxiety started with the actual interview and has snowballed since accepting the job.  It is my dream job as a nursing instructor but I have tons of doubts since I have had a desk-type nursing job for 5 years.  I feel like I have forgotten everything (although I know that's stupid to think).  I have changed jobs off and on for the past 20 years so I am thinking how crazy to be 40 and going through such anxiety.  I am a good 1 on 1 teacher, however I have the added anxiety about that first public speaking in front of the class.  I can trace my anxiety all the way back to the first day of school when I was 6.  That sick old weepy please let me run away now feeling everyone is describing.  I am just happy I did a search on this subject and realize I am NOT alone in this.  I plan to reward myself weekly until I get comfortable once again..I really liked that idea.  I may try a mild antianxiety med to get me through the first few weeks.  I have enjoyed reading the updates and hope to provide a positive one of my own.  Thank God for the internet is all I can say!!

Jen

Jen,

I totally feel your pain!  I wonder if it's a 40 year old thing cause I am rapidly approaching my 40th and THAT is causing great anxiety as well!!  I have to tell you this morning I woke up and felt great.  I spoke to a lot of people and my mom got real matter of fact with me.  She said "Stacy, why are you acting like you ARE GOING TO JAIL?, it's just a damn JOB"  I was like, "my god, she is right, it's just a job, I am not an indentured servant, I am not reporting to jail AND if I try it and it doesn't work out, or I can't work out the childcare issues I am having, then I can LEAVE ANYTIME."  Something else WILL COME UP.  Yes, jobs are important and people need them to survive (like me) but you know what, as someone else said to me, they hired you because they see in you what YOU DON'T see.  We need to have faith in ourselves and LAUGH at ourselves a little.  So I wrote IJAJ (it's just a job) in small letters on my hand.  If I start to think about anything job related I look at it and smile.  It's just a job and we have to remember that we need to give ourselves a chance.  Don't look at it as they are testing you or giving you the job to be all over you.  Look at it as you have a chance to start something new and exciting.  And when all else fails, fake it till ya make it!!!  Good luck to you, it's gonna be fine, you will see!

Jen I too have been a nurse and NP for 28 years. My last job had a horrific ending. I came to work with a broken ankle and was told that I didn't have a job. This was due to my daughter taking pictures of me working in the nursery. The same week I had my house robbed as well. I cannot take any more freak stuff happening. What doyou do to combat the anxiety?

I know how it feels....definately. I have been at the job I originally wrote about for 2 years now and am doing great. It's always a scary thing to start a new job, nevermind in a new field. BUT, you have to remember why you took the job in the first place. I know when the anxiety feelings take over, nothing else matters. I think the biggest relief I had during my transitional time is to tell myself that I am not "married" to that job. I can certainly keep looking for something else while working. Nothing says you HAVE to stay working there forever, especially if the job is "disposable". Go in, work, and don't invest too much of yourself. I have found that when I did that, I found myself really liking where I was. Wierd how that sometimes works. You know what? You are going to do just fine. So will your boy. Kids are more accepting and flexible than we give them credit for. Once a routine sets in........everything will become easier. Never give up looking for that job that will fulfill you and make you happy. But just like relationships, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Same thing with jobs. Good luck!

I just had a question for you as I am just starting to realize all the anxiety I have starting new jobs. Have you ever cried at work? I don't want to be the only one. I was so nervous and doubting myself after one mistake at work. The last job I had was so tense, it kind of made it worse in a sense. I've always been a nervous person, but as I get older (i'm 24) it's getting worse. Is this normal? Am I crazy? I just needed to know. Also, what are the steps you take to make yourself feel better at work?

You are not alone. I have cried at work and even left work when the anxiety was unbearable. My friend who is a lawyer said that she cries at work too sometimes, but she just closes her office door. And she has seen many legal assistance upset too. My sister who is a teacher said that many of her co-workers have cried too during stressful times too. You are definitely not alone. Some people even throw-up due to their anxiety and stress.

 

Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities: "We need never be ashamed of our tears." I tend to agree with him. Don't be too hard on yourself if you shed the odd tear.

 

You wondered if there are some "steps" or maybe tricks to help you feel better at work. Here are a few:

 

1. The best "tool" I was able to "create" to assist me at work, was when I worked on building a very good friendship with a warm and gentle co-worker. My "go-to" person was kind, respectful, and sensitive. We came from totally different backgrounds and had absolutely nothing in common, but we connected with kindness. Developing a relationship with someone whom I trusted, who never betrayed my trust, really helped carry me through the worst. After a few months, he could sometimes just sense that I was struggling, and he'd pull me out into the hall and we'd talk for a while or go for a walk together. (Thank you "Peter"! You were a support-system in the swampy mire of anxiety. And a calming force to talk to when my worries spiralled out of control.)

 

2. Self-soothing comes in a variety of forms... and I suggest you give each one a try. They probably won't hurt you. I've listened to relaxation cd's at night, gone on walks with friends, written in a journal, tried mediation, relaxation therapy, deep-breathing, massages, cut down on caffeine and sugar, taken sleeping pills (because getting my sleep is vital), read lots of books on anxiety and stress, talked to a counsellor and even got a pet dog that made me laugh and relax a little more.

 

3. If you're being flooded with anxiety... in that gripping moment of stress. Close your eyes, turn off noises, gently hug yourself, breath as relaxed as possible and turn on a positive "track" in your mind by silently telling yourself things like, "it's ok. I'm going to be fine. I just need to calm down. Slowly relax. I'm smart and bright and this will pass". Don't let your eyes open and don't stop holding yourself and calming yourself down with kind words of comfort, until you've felt much better. (You may just have to do this in the bathroom stall if you're in a busy work place). Sometimes it takes a while to relax and calm oneself. Give yourself that time. And be very cognisant of what ideas you think.

 

 

 

 

 

consider this a hug through the internet!!! :) I tried breathing exercises today. I know it will get better, but it will never go away because it is a part of me. Your suggestions definately help!

You are not alone. I have cried at work and even left work when the anxiety was unbearable. My friend who is a lawyer said that she cries at work too sometimes, but she just closes her office door. And she has seen many legal assistance upset too. My sister who is a teacher said that many of her co-workers have cried too during stressful times too. You are definitely not alone. Some people even throw-up due to their anxiety and stress.

 

Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities: "We need never be ashamed of our tears." I tend to agree with him. Don't be too hard on yourself if you shed the odd tear.

 

You wondered if there are some "steps" or maybe tricks to help you feel better at work. Here are a few:

 

1. The best "tool" I was able to "create" to assist me at work, was when I worked on building a very good friendship with a warm and gentle co-worker. My "go-to" person was kind, respectful, and sensitive. We came from totally different backgrounds and had absolutely nothing in common, but we connected with kindness. Developing a relationship with someone whom I trusted, who never betrayed my trust, really helped carry me through the worst. After a few months, he could sometimes just sense that I was struggling, and he'd pull me out into the hall and we'd talk for a while or go for a walk together. (Thank you "Peter"! You were a support-system in the swampy mire of anxiety. And a calming force to talk to when my worries spiralled out of control.)

 

2. Self-soothing comes in a variety of forms... and I suggest you give each one a try. They probably won't hurt you. I've listened to relaxation cd's at night, gone on walks with friends, written in a journal, tried mediation, relaxation therapy, deep-breathing, massages, cut down on caffeine and sugar, taken sleeping pills (because getting my sleep is vital), read lots of books on anxiety and stress, talked to a counsellor and even got a pet dog that made me laugh and relax a little more.

 

3. If you're being flooded with anxiety... in that gripping moment of stress. Close your eyes, turn off noises, gently hug yourself, breath as relaxed as possible and turn on a positive "track" in your mind by silently telling yourself things like, "it's ok. I'm going to be fine. I just need to calm down. Slowly relax. I'm smart and bright and this will pass". Don't let your eyes open and don't stop holding yourself and calming yourself down with kind words of comfort, until you've felt much better. (You may just have to do this in the bathroom stall if you're in a busy work place). Sometimes it takes a while to relax and calm oneself. Give yourself that time. And be very cognisant of what ideas you think.

 

 

 

 

 

You are not alone. I have cried at work and even left work when the anxiety was unbearable. My friend who is a lawyer said that she cries at work too sometimes, but she just closes her office door. And she has seen many legal assistance upset too. My sister who is a teacher said that many of her co-workers have cried too during stressful times too. You are definitely not alone. Some people even throw-up due to their anxiety and stress.

 

Charles Dickens wrote in A Tale of Two Cities: "We need never be ashamed of our tears." I tend to agree with him. Don't be too hard on yourself if you shed the odd tear.

 

You wondered if there are some "steps" or maybe tricks to help you feel better at work. Here are a few:

 

1. The best "tool" I was able to "create" to assist me at work, was when I worked on building a very good friendship with a warm and gentle co-worker. My "go-to" person was kind, respectful, and sensitive. We came from totally different backgrounds and had absolutely nothing in common, but we connected with kindness. Developing a relationship with someone whom I trusted, who never betrayed my trust, really helped carry me through the worst. After a few months, he could sometimes just sense that I was struggling, and he'd pull me out into the hall and we'd talk for a while or go for a walk together. (Thank you "Peter"! You were a support-system in the swampy mire of anxiety. And a calming force to talk to when my worries spiralled out of control.)

 

2. Self-soothing comes in a variety of forms... and I suggest you give each one a try. They probably won't hurt you. I've listened to relaxation cd's at night, gone on walks with friends, written in a journal, tried mediation, relaxation therapy, deep-breathing, massages, cut down on caffeine and sugar, taken sleeping pills (because getting my sleep is vital), read lots of books on anxiety and stress, talked to a counsellor and even got a pet dog that made me laugh and relax a little more.

 

3. If you're being flooded with anxiety... in that gripping moment of stress. Close your eyes, turn off noises, gently hug yourself, breath as relaxed as possible and turn on a positive "track" in your mind by silently telling yourself things like, "it's ok. I'm going to be fine. I just need to calm down. Slowly relax. I'm smart and bright and this will pass". Don't let your eyes open and don't stop holding yourself and calming yourself down with kind words of comfort, until you've felt much better. (You may just have to do this in the bathroom stall if you're in a busy work place). Sometimes it takes a while to relax and calm oneself. Give yourself that time. And be very cognisant of what ideas you think.

 

 

 

 

 

I hear you!  I am a widow and have had several jobs since my husband died, and I ended up quitting all of them except the last one where i was fired because the boss was a nut case!  I start a new "Job" tomorrow-art Time in retail with very base pay and I am a wreck!  I NEED to work-when my unemployment runs out I will be broke, so I had to take some job!  But I am a wreck that I will get sick and get fired, or freak out and get fired, or worn;t be able to do this simple job and get fired...I feel like I've suddenly been struck stupid!  I can't stand being so nervous for this dumb, dead end job---but I need to be able to work while I;m looking for a higer paying job (Which, if I get, will probably make me such a wreck, I'll have a heart attack!).  I feel like such a loser!  I just wanna be a little girl again and have my parents bail me out!  Duh!  Any help???

I too just took a new job after a job of 11 years approached it's downsizing dateline. 

I really miss the people and knowing everything.

New job is in same field, but very different and I am very anxious.  Want to run away, but I'll lose everything.

Please tell me it gets better.

Hello I know how you feel. It is hard. I was in a job for 16 years and stayed in same field with new company. Not what you want to hear. But, time seems to make things better. I truly wish you well. Anxiety is not pleasant.

It does get better. The feeling that you would lose everything doesn't help either...it makes you feel powerless. Just realize that what you are doing is for the greater good and is a sacrifice that will pay off in the long run.

 

Email us back in a few weeks and let us know how you are doing. I bet you will find that you are more comfortable and it has gotten easier.

 

Good Luck!

 

Robin

At what point do you settle? I love my job. I have the greatest boss. He is my friend. We work great together and have helped a lot of people. My problem is he can't pay me anymore and I feel hurt because he won't even consider sacrificing. I do everything for him, I manage his and his wife's financial lives, know every password to every account. You would think that the trust factor would be enough but I guess not. I know that no one is invinceable and everyone is replaceable but I've been there for 7 years. Every time an opportunity comes up for a job interview with benefits and more money I totally get emotional, can't stop crying. Why do I have to make this choice. Is it really about all the money? Doesn't my happiness matter? I've worked in many jobs and gone back to college, earned my degrees and finally find the job of my dreams and I have to let it go because of money? I'm afraid that this part of my life wont continue as far as maintaining the relationship that I have with him, he is my friend. But I guess if intake the job and he is truly my friend then we will remain part of each others lives. I guess I just answered my question.

Great Advice. I have recently started a new job. Although I was not that anxious when beginning i have become extremely anxious on starting. I am only working directly with two people who have not been welcoming, have been whispering and giggling, not including me in conversations. I pulled one of them up and asked her if i had upset her. She just made out i was being paranoid. Not wanting to upset anyone in my first few days i said sorry and sorry if it seems neurotic. It has not helped that everytime someone comes in the office they are nice as pie to them and as soon as they leave they rip them to shreds. I know they are in the wrong but as the newbie i feel lost.

Hi Robin!  I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing about your experience.  I am experiencing a very similar thing.  I am a social services worker and I work with people with disabilities.  Of course there are ups and downs to what I do, but I find my work so interesting and complex... and there are parts of it I love.  I started out my career working for private non-profit corporations...  My heart was totally in my work, but the opportunities to be paid well (and by well I mean enough so that I can work one job not two and pay my bills), have good health benefits, opportunities to further my education (a huge dream of mine is to get my Masters in something related), and to advance.  Approximately 1 month ago I accepted a position with a county agency that serves people with disabilities.  This is such a big step in my career and I am so proud... but so scared!  This particular agency funds every other program for people with disabilities in my area.  They are a key player in my field... and if I do well at this job I will be able to take this experience to whatever positions I move onto and it will mean a lot to them that I succeeeded there.  It will also mean a lot to me. 

 

My fears are that I'm not tough enough for this job...  I'm going to see some sad things, but really nothing I've not seen before (I've been working with the same population for 4 years)...  there will also be a lot of paperwork and deadlines and I'm afraid I won't be able to get it all done.  I'm afraid I won't be able to help people as much as I want to...  But at the same time, I will actually have the opportunity to help a great deal of people and to touch their lives.  I'll also be able to learn a lot... and that will help me in the long run. 

 

The truth is- I WANT to do this job!  I don't want to quit...  But I want to be able to be confident that I am making the best choice for me.  I could see that this particular role may not be a long-term fit for me...  But I'm certain I can do it, and there will be other opportunities within this company that may come up and if I'm rocking at my job I'll be that much more likely to be offered those positions.  I just need to believe that i can do this, I won't always feel terrified... and also that none of this is the worst thing in the world.  I can do it!

Kadi,

 

First, Congrats on your new job! I am glad you shared your experiences with everyone and that you seem to be approaching it with a positive attitude even though it may be a little scary.

 

Working for the government, state, federal, county, is definitely a lot different than working in the private sector. But you will get use to it. You have a huge opportunity to do some good work and it sounds like the experience will definitely be advantageous to you.

 

My mom, who is a great support to me, always says this very simple thing to me when I am faced with starting something new...."Columbus took a chance". So then I think to myself, "Well, yeah, and I don't have to get on a big wooden boat and cross an ocean to do this thing, so Ok, I can do this."

 

Good luck to you on your first day. Remember to reward yourself for your accomplishments, (like making it thru a week). It helps.

 

Write back and let us all know how you are doing...

 

Robin

I too never thought there was anyone else like me out there. Here I was going from a "disposable" job to one that was actually in my field and I still wanted to go back and work in the deli after day one. It was horrifying and scarey and I did cry every night.

 

I stayed at the new job and eventually the tears stopped. I settled in and I love my job and co-workers. But for a few of us, it comes with the expense of anguish, pain and fear first. I wish I knew WHY. Sure, I always know it's going to happen when I start a new job. But looking back, I would love to know the root cause.

 

Maybe I will find out and maybe I won't. I guess the best I can hope for is to prepare for it and know that I have been through it before in the past and things turned out well.

 

I started this thread over two years ago when I felt hopeless and afraid. I wrote my first words on this site through tears. But today, I am still here at that new job I started and I am glad I gave it a chance. I hope you all find your way through the anxiety and fear. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. We are all human with fears and faults. We can't always be a pillar of strength; sometimes we all need to lean on someone else's shoulder.

 

Good luck!

 

Robin

 

Mandy,

 

Something tells me you are going to do fine at your new job. You have gotten through two "episodes" of starting a new jon and did well enough to not only be considered for a more senior position, BUT you were selected out of all the other applicants! Congrats to you!

 

I think the one thing I always forget when I get hired that I was the best candidate. Instead, I just spin myself into the ground with worry and concern instead of enjoying the success. It doesn't matter to me that I have mastered every job I have ever had or that I have worked very hard to get where I am today. It's a new experience and I have anxiety because of it.

 

Mandy, you can do this. Yes, you will probably have anxiety over it, but you will get through it. The more we can overcome our fears and anxiety, the more control we give ourselves.

 

Good luck and much success with your new job.

 

Robin

Bill...

 

Good for you!

 

I think the book you are referring to is "Feeling Good. The New Mood Thearpy"? I also have read that book and it was awesome. I also went online to a place called "Mood Gym" and at that website they go over various "warped thoughts" and definitions. I keep it taped to a pullout table in my desk at work and whenever something makes me angry, I pull it out and read it. It helps.

 

FYI, many states require employers to pay the resigning employee for the two weeks notice they gave, when they tell that employee to leave on that same day. You might want to check into it.

 

I am glad you not only started feeling a little bit better, but you also did some research to help yourself. You should be very proud.

 

I am happy you followed up with us and keep up the good work!

 

Best regards,

 

Robin

Good Luck Snoop. You can do it!

Hi Eucrow,

 

Congratulations on your new job!

 

I know how you feel, I almost went back to a job in a supermarket instead of taking my present job which is in a technical field. Why? Anxiety. I am glad I made myself stick with it; of course, I have a grandson that I am supporting and that really was a driving force for me. But believe me, many times during that first week I thought begging for my old job back. I wouldn't bring in personal items to put on my desk because I wanted to be ready at a moment's notice to pick up and leave if I wanted to. Eventually, that anxiety faded away and my grandson's drawings adorn my office walls. Next month, I will celebrate my 3rd year anniversary here and it's the best thing I have ever done for my family and my career. I am glad I didn't let my anxiety win!

 

You're right, no one expects you to walk in on the first day and know everything. You were hired on your qualifications and experience. There's always a learning curve, it doesn't matter how experienced you are. I don't think I have ever walked into a place whose procedures and programs were exactly the same as the last place I worked. But if you learned one, you can learn another. And I bet it won't take as long as you think either.

 

I found a job the opposite distance as you did. I went from driving 10-15 minutes away from my home to having to drive 45 minutes now. It's all good, it gets routine. But lucky you, you get to save on gas! AND if you are ever feeling like you want to go home for lunch, that option is there.

 

Good luck to you on your new job. After beating out so many other people, you have to have faith that the HR dept. knew what they were doing. They believe in you, now you have to believe in you!

 

Best of luck! Robin

Hi Robin,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me. I had my first day at my new job today. Not once did I think that I wanted to go back to my old job!

I am feeling a little overwhelmed as all the computer programs are different from what I'm used to but I know it will soon become second nature as it did in my old job. As you said, if you can learn one, you can learn another.

Everyone in my department (and everyone else I've come across) has been very nice to me and they don't expect me to know everything right away - I hope anyone else reading this thread will take note of that! You put the pressure on yourself, it's not usually coming from other people!

Take care!

Anita from New Zealand.

Good for you Anita! I am glad you are doing well and with that positive attitude, things will only get better.

 

Best regards,

 

Robin

imkc,

 

It wouldn't hurt to at least talk to your old boss. At least that way you defininately know whether you would be able to go back to your old job or not. Putting at least one uncertainty out of the way does help. I know, I have done it. Knowing you may be unhappy at your new job may inspire him/her to keep the position open just a little longer. Be honest and upfront.

 

Job environments unfortunately are one of the things you don't get to find out about until you are actually at the job. I went from a private sector job to a state job and boy was it a culture shock. In time, I got use to it and have adapted very well. I am sure in time you can too.

 

Did they tell you about overtime during the interview? If not, then I would sit down with someone you do feel comfortable with there and have a discussion. For me, I selected one person that I felt was no nonsense and professional to talk to about such things. Today, we are good work friends.

 

Remember that in this anxious time, you are really in control. It sounds like you thought the job was a really good opportunity, otherwise, you would have never responded to the job opening.

 

Your new employer knew full well your qualifications and background when they hired you. Sometimes, we think they are expecting so much from us because we expect so much from ourselves. Unless you sit down and ask them, you won't know what they expect and that may be another good idea. Calmly sit down with your supervisor and ask what their expectations are and how well you are doing so far. Since it's only been a week, they may not have much to say, but at least it opens a one-on-one dialog and lets them know you are sincere in your job responsibilities.

 

I hope everything works out well for you.

 

Robin

I've been working as a claims adjuster with an insurance/case management company for 2 years now.  I've always been interested in getting into the IT field.  I've taken numerous classes more than 4 years ago but never completed my degree.  We didn't have an IT person in my office as our  IT person worked in one of our other offices about 150 miles away and would come into our office every couple of weeks.  I assisted with setup and installs in between visits.  His job recently came open so I applied and without a formal interview I got it.  I was so excited when I accepted it about a week ago but as the days pass I'm getting more and more on edge.  The job is really out of my experience and skill level. Couple of nights ago just thinking about it I thought I was going to faint my hear was beating so fast.  Think this was probably my first panic attack and I haven't even started the job.  I have so many doubts right now as I know I don't have the skills and experience this job requires.  My wife tells me, like someone else on here mentioned, they didn't hire me because of what I know but what they feel I can learn.  I'm pretty much stuck now as my old position has already been filled and even if it wasn't It would be embarrasing to back out and ask for that old job back since it's with the same company.  I'm also incredibly worried about letting down the people high up in the company that have taken a chance on me by offering me this job.  I've performed really well with this company in my previous position.  Employee of the month and nominated somewhere around 10 times in the last two years.  I feel maybe I've set the bar really high and that company has really high expectations for me that I may not be able to meet now.  I think maybe once I get into the job and get the training process started and see what's expected of me that I'll feel better but right now I wish like hell I had just kept my old job.

Oh boy do I know how you feel. I had a boss that figured because I went to school for what he generalized as "computers", that I would know everything about every computer related field there was. Here I was, a Credit Manager, going to school at night for computer networking and he wanted me to work on all the company's web pages. I knew nothing about HTML or how web pages were programmed, but he just gave me the responsibility and that was that. 

 

As soon as I saw the HTML code, it was love at first sight. I had been an old Pascal programmer back in the 80's (before being a programmer was actually cool) and I hadn't found anything programming language that interested me since. Today, I am a webmaster for a state agency. And I love it. But I started from scratch just like you feel you are. 

 

As time passed, I earned my webmasters certificate. Here I was studying one thing and was totally side tracked into another. BUT, I have learned in life to roll with the punches and I have found that better things come my way when I simply open myself up to the possibilities. 

 

I understand your anguish. Your feeling of hopelessness. Your fear. But you can overcome all of these. And YES, you will learn quite a bit at this new job probably (Keep a notebook of everything you do and how you did it....at least for a while. Our Network person had to do that because he encountered plenty of things they just don't teach you in any college.). In IT, there is always something you may not know. that's what Google is for. If you don't know it, find it and learn how. Just be resourceful. 

 

It sounds to me like you are willing to learn. Believe me, the joy and pride you will feel by solving your first "crisis" for someone will far out weigh anything you feel right how. 

 

Good luck! 

 

Robin

OMG! Didn't know this discussion actually existed. I am feeling the same. I feel so stupid whenever i go to work, and in order to not make mistakes, i have to keep reassuring and reconfirm that what i am doing is right. This makes me feel stupid. I feel nervous, and feel like i can faint any moment. I too, don't like being in this type of situation. What am I suppose to do. This is my first job, and I'm already feeling like this. What to do? I am losing confidence. My colleagues are nice, but they look mean to me. 

Awwwe, Im sorry it got so bad you cried at work. Was it in front of anyone? Once I was called in by my bosses office for a meeting. I was a very good employee there and it was time for my yearly evaluation, but instead of getting the small raise I was hoping for, I was told all the employees have been recorded during phone calls and I was not doing very well being persistent. But even though I was very nice, friendly and my sales numbers were good and where they were supposed to be..I wasn't being "pushy" enough, so I was told I have to take sales classes and it involved traveling and such....well, all that threw me off guard and I felt like I was being attacked and started crying, Im not even emotional or a "crier" and I so tried not to cry, but I did, for the whole 30 minutes and couldn't stop...I ended up leaving the job a short time later. It seems like I only take jobs within my comfort zone and surround myself with people I feel comfortable with so anything outside of that I don't do well with. The new job I start in 5 days seems like a good fit for me....but they even told me that sometimes people just do not come back, and that worries me too.

It started off as me walking casually to the bathroom. Then, I guess I went in there and they thought I left because when I came out they were all looking for me. Then, they kept asking me questions which just makes the situation worse. Then I started crying. When I get super anxious, I start kind of semi-hyper ventalating crying. Then, I was told I could go to break after they tried to make things better by being kind. So, I went to break and cried a bit. Then I stopped. Then i came back to work and I got pulled into the office because they felt I thought someone was mad at me, which I didn't. I was just embarrased and stressed because it was a pretty big mistake, my first big mistake.

 

I am one of those people, when i cry, I just want to be left alone and not babied. It just makes me feel embarrased, so I cry more. That's what kept happening. It was crazy. A lot of my anxiety is because I've never had to be new before. I am from a really small town and I left that town to move to a college town with a lot of people because my husband is in the army. I am a bit of a shy person anyway, as far as talking to someone first. I guess I am sort of anti social, but being away from people for a year and a half just made things worse. I went from being just around my husband and family to lots of people in a big city. I had a job at a bank for a month. i quit because there was so much tension there between employees (not me) that had worked together for a while. It just made my anxiety worse. It kind of made everything that much more difficult. Sorry I wrote so much...  

 

Now, I work at a collections place and I like it, but there are just so many people and it makes me so nervous. I'm starting to talk a little bit more, but it's like my throat closes up. It's weird. They are really nice and trying to get me more talkative. It's just hard. I just want to do good at my job and not cry or hyper-ventilate. It's embarrasing more that anything.

I started a new job on Mon. the 19th too, how is it going for you? Right now it feels like I will never learn all I have to.

I just went to an interview and it was "horrible" for me, so after that I just said I hope they dont call me  because I was really sick. Now they called me for a second interview and I feel sick again and having panic attacks about it, should I put myself through this again? and in case they give me the job, how can I go every day feeling this way? But I need the money I need the job my husband abandoned me and my sons and I HAVE to make money. I don't know what to do. ..an online job maybe...?

 

I'm pleased that you as well as many others (including myself) take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and many, many people the world over will be or have gone through this type of anxiety.

 

Your best bet is to stick it out and only do what you are paid to do. You can only learn and take in as much as is humanly possible - any employer worth their salt should realise this!

 

It will get easier - it always does, so don't be so hard on yourself, take 3 minutes out to focus on nothing but your breathing when you feel your anxiety is overwealming you.

 

Finally, and most importantly, this is ONLY a job - bear that in mind and you should be able to see things in better perspective.

 

By the way, I didnt get the job I interviewed for but alas, that's life - in a way I was glad but have not had a similar anxiety recently with another interview on which I am still waiting for the result - but feeling OK about this one.  Funny that?

 

All the best.

I.

Did you get the job, I.? I had to quit. The pressure of having to learn itso fast and my anxiety overwhelmed me. I'm going to get counseling before I venture out again and hopefully find out what the heck is going on with me. Feeling pretty worthless right now though.

Hi mcdang

 

I still have not heard yet, but feel positive about the possibility of starting with this company.

 

Sorry to hear of your situation.  Did you discuss your concerns with your employer first?  I know what it is like when all you want to do is get away from the situation, I have been there. Its just the way we have of coping with anxiety - by avoiding the situation you feel is causing the anxiety.  You're certainly not worthless though so don't think that way - you're just going through a difficult patch that WILL get better.

 

Anxiety aside, you probably made the right decision anyway - it sounds like they were expecting too much from one person, and if I read your situation correctly, this was only a temp job anyway?  There will be other, better opportunities.

 

Best wishes

Ian

Ian,

I did express my concerns with my boss but she was convinced I would "get it".  I did talk to my co-workers who thought I was doing fine, but couldn't understand why they would put an "as needed" person in that position to train for 8 days...then be on my own.  In fact, my boss was going to train me on another person's job so that I could cover who ever went on vacation. 

 I feel I could have done this if I wasn't feeling pressure to understand everything by the end of the week..then move on to another job.  Just too overwhelming.  It could have potentially developed to a part-time position down the road. 

Anyways....my last day, I went in and my mind went completely blank from the anxiety and I just wanted to run out of there, but I stayed.  That night I broke down and knew I couldn't do it again.  Now I'm so scared that everytime I start a job, I will get this way.  I always held a job in the past though. 

Best of luck to you, Ian on your job search.  Thanks so much for your input!!

Hey your most welcome.

 

You do get into that anxiety cycle - i know what its like - scared the next job will go the same way as the last.  That's what the anxiety feeds on.  The only way is to break the cycle.  Remember - thoughts about the past are ONLY thoughts, and thoughts about the future are NOT facts.  Let your worries come and go and accept that anxiety is part of your life.  I don't want to spout on about it, but Mindfulness Meditation has helped me a lot with my anxiety. As an alternative or complimentary therapy it may be worth a shot.  Your councellor may even suggest it - mine did!

 

All the best

Ian

Hi. I am new to this site, but have been reading this particular thread for several days due to getting a new job. I have been at my current position for 2 years (retail). I had FINALLY found a job towards a career; it was perfect. I got the job as a receptionist at a dental office with no experience. My first day was yesterday (couldn't eat breakfast because I was afraid I would throw up) and the other girl that was hired and I read manuals and answered questions until around 2:30-3:00 and trained for 2 hours until 5 when we closed. We find out they actually have no receptionists, so the office manager tells us it is just going to be us upfront tomorrow. I immediately started to fear for the worst. The other girl even looked at me and said "I am so not comfortable to be on my own tomorrow." I mean, we had 2 hours of training!! One of us was going to be upfront checking in patients, taking insurance, checking for copays, taking patients pictures, answering phones, and setting up new appointments, as well as calling all of the appts. for the next day to verify they are coming. The other was going to be checking people out, dealing with their insurance, calculating how much they owe, etc. Never done any of this and all of a sudden we are up there on our own???!! So, I get home....lay on the couch and don't move all night. I literally sobbed half of the night and then when the morning came around I felt so sick and by the time I finally got myself out of bed, it was too late to get ready. I did not go in. I am now so pissed off at myself because this job was perfect, and I allowed my anxiety to win.........again. This was a huge opportunity for me with no experience to learn, and I blew it. Everyone is going to be so disappointed in me, but no one can imagine how I feel about myself. This job paid much better, paid full medical, was only Mon-Thurs. 8-5. Why did I do this to myself. Why couldn't I take everyone's advice to "just push through it?" I am so disappointed in myself that I almost can't believe I did it because I told myself I wouldn't. Now I have to go back and tell everyone after one day.........I know the first days are always overwhelming, but I couldn't stand the fact of not having someone there to shadow or at least shadow me and show me what to do every step of the way. The office manager said yesterday, "tomorrow will definitely be a test," and I failed. I'm sure no one will read this, but thanks for giving me the chance to express how I feel. No one around me understands the hold that anxiety has on me. "Just suck it up," or "get over it," is what I hear. It feels good to know that there are other people out there like me, but it still does not change my aching disappointment for myself.

 

Thanks,

MrsAnxious :/

Holy Cow!! I thought my experience was bad with having minimal training, but your's is much worse. Don't feel bad!! That just sounds like poor management and a system set up to fail. It may have been different if you had all that experience before, but maybe not because systems are set up differently. You are not alone, I am still struggling too. And dealing with what everyone is going to say or think sucks. I'm going to a counselor (was supposed to today but they cancelled). I'm hoping it will help with the anxiety and the fear that I will fail at everything. I wonder if that other girl showed up?? I know I wouldn't have.

Thanks for the reply! The Office Manager would have been there, but she was going to be verifying insurance for patients from yesterday and today, so I would have constantly been having to ask questions. This is the busiest dental office I have ever seen and it is a pediatric office. Literally by 9:00am, every seat in the lobby is full & the phone rings every 5 seconds....so I pretty much just panicked, but have been sick all day because I blew it. I am still getting texts today saying, "congrats on the new job!" and "i'm so proud of you!" Which makes me feel even more sick. Have you visited the counselor yet or was today your first visit? Let me know how it goes. I get the same feeling of not being worthy and not feeling like I am going to be good at anything. My husband is the exact opposite and he doesn't understand. We are currently not speaking right now because of all of this, that's why I reached out to you guys. Not having anyone around you that understands the pain, the agony, the constant worries, is really hard sometimes. Oh, and I am pretty sure that other girl went in, although I did wonder, she was very uppity towards the end of the day-whereas I feel as though I had already "checked out."

Yeah, my boss would have been there too, but upstairs and from what I gathered, she doesn't know how much goes into the job. I really don't think places typically train like that. I think if you explained what happened and the circumstances, most people would understand why you left. That would have been hard to catch onto, even with years of experience. And you more than likely would have been so stessed out...would it have been worth it? My husband was disappointed too, but understands I'm going through something and the jobs aren't what I thought it would be. I do wonder, if I would have had my anxiety and stress under control and went through counseling, if I could have done the jobs. I really don't think so, but who knows. Just have to move forward. My counselor cancelled for today, so I go Thurs. I was looking forward to it too do I can get on with my life. I have always been like this to some degree, but seemed to get worse after having kids and staying home with them. I do understand almost exactly how you feel!! Unfortunately, all the "failures" has made me very depressed (3 total back to back). I hope this doesn't happen to you!!!!

I wonder, too, if I was on some sort of medication for my anxiety if I would have been able to stick it out. I wish I would have so desparately, but oh well, it's too late now. I started getting anxiety right out of high school, once I started college. Not too sure why, but it has just escalated. I do not have kids, but I can completely understand your scenario of staying home with the kids and venturing back out into the working world; I can only imagine that is very hard! I am very susceptible to depression, so I am feeling it as of now. Just pure & utter disappointment for myself. This was a job that saw something in me knowing I could do the job and I blew it. I hope your depression gets better and that soon your dream job will come along! I still have my retail job, but changed my availability and everyone knows I got a new job. Now I have to go in there and tell them otherwise. They were really trying to give me more hours there (retail=crappy hours) and I said, "sorry, got a new job!" And now I am going to have to go in there and say hey, actually....I need more hours now. I wonder how that will pan out. Hopefully they will not hold resentment towards me. My husbands job is being eliminated, so now I know he is even more worried because with this other job, I could've paid the bills. With retail...definitely not. I feel so much guilt for now putting even more pressure on him. Oh well, enough about me. I truly hope your counseling session goes well tomorrow and maybe you can find the root cause of your anxiety.

Hi, I was just wondering if things were getting better...or same? 

I have just started a new job after being off work with depression and anxiety for many years. The anxiety is horrible and my depression has come back and insomnia is making me ill again.I did not get a wink of sleep for 2 nights and now after 4 days I had to go to the doctor and get tranqulisers and sleeping tablets. The first 2 weeks are training and with the insomnia it is impossible to concentrate and I know if I cannot pick up next week I may have to leave? Which means no money coming in at all.I do not know what I am going to do.Suicidal thoughts are starting to enter my head and thats the only time i feel relaxed as this could end the hell I am feeling.I wish I could be normal and breeze through lifes problems but I cannot do it.My mind is seems so weak and broken so easily.

I understand what you both are going through. I hope it helps that you are not alone in this. I ended up getting put on Lexapro because the depression was getting so bad...the pressure, guilt, ashamed that I gave up. I have good days and bad ones still, but I think facing my fear not putting so much pressure on myself is the key. We are human, and are going to make mistakes. I have a job interview tomorrow and either way it turns out, I'm nervous about. Luckily, I see my therapist Tues., lol!

You're definately not alone there hun! I'm a 20 year old female, I've had anxiety for the past 10 years of my life and have recently been put on anti-depressants...

 

I have been unemployed for a year and a half now (before then I've had about 10 different jobs) none of them last over a few months (with the exception of one job that I was at for a year, when I was 16!)...

 

I struggled with the Jobcentre as I was getting interviews, going to them (sometimes) and getting the job (I was offered 3 jobs whilst being unemployed) and I failed to start any of them due to my overwhelming anxieties! Which sucked ass as I wanted to start saving to move out of my rents house! 

 

I recommend going to see your Doctor and telling them about your anxieties. I have a lovely lady doctor who gives my sick notes so I can sign on to ESA. It's a brilliant benefit as you not only don't have to look for work, fill in booklets or even go in and sign on. But when you think you're ready to start work they can help you find part time jobs to ease you in to work slowly. It's great!

 

The main reason I'm on here is that a friend offered me an interview for a place she recruits for and Jesus I want the money! £7.50 an hour for a starting wage is pretty motivating! Although, they don't offer part time work so I'm scared that it'll be too much! And like most other opportunities I'm scared I'll cower away from them and just stay in bed and cry!

 

But I've read alot of posts on this page and it has really helped knowing there are people, that get up and go to work every day that have these same feelings of uncontrollable, irrational fear... It's very comforting as it tells my mind that it IS possible to work through the fear, quite literally! And it really must be a natural response of the human mind to have - FEAR OF THE UNKOWN!

 

But I guess the thing I keep forgetting is that WE create the world we live in... Nothing can mean everything to a mind caught in an irrational spiral! And at the same time (in theory) I should be able to see anything as nothing to be afraid of - and we all can.

 

So all fellow anxious beings - let's walk forward, down the path of the unknown. Although we walk our own path, we should never forget our brothers and sisters who walk somewhere beside us.

 

Take care and good luck!

 

 

Well, I did some research to find out what causes brain fog, panic attacks and anxiety.  With me part of the problem must be because of too much caffeine.  I always drank at least two jumbo cups of coffee in the morning.  With my last job I was drinking at least four a day.  I thought it would help me be alert and do the job much quicker.  Instead I could hear my heart pounding, my memory was at a loss.  Being home, I realized I would still get anxious thinking of looking for work again.  Finally, today I only drank a half a cup of coffee,  I am back on the internet looking for work, feeling relaxed. Now that I am feeling brave again, I will start my job search.  Maybe I will feel more in control this time. 

Well, I did some research to find out what causes brain fog, panic attacks and anxiety.  With me part of the problem must be because of too much caffeine.  I always drank at least two jumbo cups of coffee in the morning.  With my last job I was drinking at least four a day.  I thought it would help me be alert and do the job much quicker.  Instead I could hear my heart pounding, my memory was at a loss.  Being home, I realized I would still get anxious thinking of looking for work again.  Finally, today I only drank a half a cup of coffee,  I am back on the internet looking for work, feeling relaxed. Now that I am feeling brave again, I will start my job search.  Maybe I will feel more in control this time. 

Well, I did some research to find out what causes brain fog, panic attacks and anxiety.  With me part of the problem must be because of too much caffeine.  I always drank at least two jumbo cups of coffee in the morning.  With my last job I was drinking at least four a day.  I thought it would help me be alert and do the job much quicker.  Instead I could hear my heart pounding, my memory was at a loss.  Being home, I realized I would still get anxious thinking of looking for work again.  Finally, today I only drank a half a cup of coffee,  I am back on the internet looking for work, feeling relaxed. Now that I am feeling brave again, I will start my job search.  Maybe I will feel more in control this time.