Thank you for your question and welcome to AnxietyConnection.com.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time right now. Many people feel they are not in an abusive relationship if there is no physical abuse, but emotional abuse can be just ad devastating as physical.

The website Dr. Irene's Verbal Abuse site has a great list of behaviors which could consititute emotional abuse.

Compassion Power has a quiz to help you determine if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.

It is difficult to live in an abusive relationship. You deserve to wake up each morning not wondering what the day is going to bring, to not worry about saying something wrong or doing something that will cause your boyfriend to become angry. Even if this happens only when your boyfriend drinks, it still signals a problem.

It sounds as if you are discussing your boyfriend's behavior with at least your brother. This signals that you think there is something wrong and his behavior is not right. It certainly sounds as if you don't have a healthy relationship.

Please look at the sites above. Don't live your life in a relationship in which you are not respected all the time (rather than only when he is sober). You deserve better. You deserve to be loved and treated with love all the time.

Please let me know how you are doing and what you decide.

Eileen

starlight

11/18/09 11:17am

Hello

 

Thank you for your advice, it helped a lot, i have descided that i am going to move to Australia with my brother for at least a year, and im ok with the decision i think! I will have all the suport in the world there to get back to being me and get out of a relationship that i just cant let go any further. I just felt like i couldnt have kids with my partner and thats a problem,

 

I hope this is what i need,

 

Thank you