Thank you for your question and welcome to AnxietyConnection.com
Some of what you describe is similar to how people with Social Anxiety feel. Social anxiety (SAD) is an intense fear of being judged by other people. For most people with SAD, the faar is irrational and although they know this, they feel helpless at stopping the fear and this can be paralyzing, interfering with daily routines. People with SAD may begin to avoid social situations, even working because of their fear of being negatively scrutinized by others.
I am not a medical professional and certainly would not be able to say you are suffering from social anxiety, but it sounds as if you may want to consult your doctor about how you are feeling. There is treatment available, many people find help through cognitive behavioral therapy and some may use medications to help alleviate the anxiety.
For more information
Social Anxiety Disorder
I hope this helps.
Eileen