in trying to stop ruminating it has caused me to ruminate about ruminating! constantly thinking and looking for ways to stop this thinking!

I came off citalopram in november last year ( prescribed for panic attacks, which i overcame) the withdrawals from this left me bed ridden for 3weeks. the things i usually enjoy mean nothing now, so focusing on something of interest is impossible. i started thinking about going back onto citalopram but i don't know if it can help with this constant thinking.

since i started to consider citalopram my "ruminating" has been

 " will citalopram stop this thinking? and what if it doesn't?  i don't want to be put on anything else and don't want to got through the withdrawal symptoms of citalopram again"

it feels like i'm going mad, i'm neglecting my personal hygiene amongst other thing because this thinking makes me so tiered and takes up my focus

i just want to enjoy  my life like before and not feel like everythings meaningless.

will citalopram stop me ruminating about this stuff and give me an interest in my life? i was not suffering like this before i took them the first time.. i enjoyed life etc but had panic attacks.. there isn't therapy for ruminating about ruminating! only ruminating on negative situations. i know if this constant thinking stopped i would be enjoying life so it feels like i'm stuck