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I have had this same problem for about 6 months, and I too have seen a regular dr. as well as a dermatologist.  The dermotologist scraped the worst area on my head and it came back positive for staff infection.  I have tried 2 rounds of cipro antibiotics and they seem to help, but the problem just keeps coming back.  My dermatologist has suggested that it is anxiety (i am under a lot of stress) and has put me on antivam (sp.).  This is specifically for panic attacks (which I do not have) but I am very anxious most of the time, so I am willing to try it.  I will let you know if this helps.  You are right, this is very painful and no one else realizes what you go through unless you have it.  Also, I have very thin hair as well as being 4ft. 11 so I am very self conscious about my scalp.