Thank you 4ur reply i understand n agree to what u sayin ,u r right in many things, well to start with i am from india, and in mumbai, and wil find out the ways u said as for the dtoxification and the other theraphy and private counselling tooo,,,,,,

but to be honest i still dont think its that difficult 4me to leave the tablets i can leave it my will power is very strong, but i dont have a reason to leave it completely, i still have many reasons left to take it,atleast with tht i know i may be in major loss in the future and might be some major disorders, but atleast temporary relief and some sleep i m gettin now, wel just want to ask u one thing u said that u suffered with such question and peoblems for 27yrs , tell me did u live a goal less life, i mean to say in career propects and ur growth mentally and emotionally, i m , today i am almost 28 and dnt knw what around me or what life is shaping up to be, i knw guys who are just 22 and are atleast that focused that what courses and studies they have to do , and livin their college life , young life and smart life, and when i think where was i at the age of 22yrs , i was under psychiatrist treatment and family issues and did not knw where my life was leading to.. i nvr wantd to take any medication now go to a psychiatrist i was been forced too and had been pushed by my family , and today i m sufferein more from this medications,i really dont wanna regret again after 5 yrs when i will be 32 thinking that at 27 i wrote this all and was doin nothing and looking for ways,i dont even think if i wil reach till 32 with this frame of mind, i have many many cousins and friends whom i see and have encouraged to tae up careers and setlle , starting from my cousin age 18 till 23 all are doing something and have a motto and goal in life as they have backing and support and i m no where ,i lost almost everything when my dad passsed away at the age of 10yrs since then have seen wht still not a single friend or family member or a neighbour even close to me would have seen quarter of it, i am happy god has blessed every1 well , bt what was my mistake, i have sisters and they also are settled and doing good, being from the same house same atmosphere same family. y i am lacking such horriblly and getting into this state,u know i am short of words to be honest dont even knw what to write and what to say and make u feel,al i can say is thanks for ur reply and just pray for me, rest i also dont know anything...i just cry from one side writing this and on the other end i am laughing at my life and my probems,,, just just just............

Good Morning Navin

I am glad that you replied, your question to me I will try to answer, Did I live a goal less life at the time I tought I had everything under control and tought I was living well.

I had a house, new car, familly ''friends'' and was working in construction on major sites here in Canada, but I was using wich means that my mind was always in a altered state, and that my friend cought up with me to a point where I couldnt live without the substance and couldnt live with it either i was caught in this infernal cycle.

You see Navin by having a mind that was altered my growth as a person couldnt evolve due to the fact that I wasnt giving me the chance to live out my emotions good or bad it was like it was frozen in time due to the substance and my altered state, it is not a question of will power I have tried to manage my use in many ways and fashions just to find myself broken again.

In my experience this is a journey that one must take in a ''selfish'' way meaning that for once in ones life you must think THIS IS FOR ME & ME ONLY in order to obtain the serenity and solice that you are seeking (unless I'm wrong here).

As I said will power as nothing to do with it your heart is where it must come from its not a celebral decision but one that comes from within your soul to put it in simple words, do you want a major life turning change in your life that is in my view what you should ask yourself.

Navin you are a young man and you can achieve great things as you understand them, time is on your side here, I was face with that decision at the age of 40 years old, truly my friend (brother) I hope that you will consider what I'm saying to you.

As my Grand Father use to say

A old man sitting down see's further than a young man standing up.

Peace be with you

Michel