My daughter is 9 and has been through some family issues in the last 4 years. First, I unexpectedly got pregnant when she was 5. I prepared her as much as I could, taking her to classes about being a big sister, helped her pick the names, let her help decorate the room and prepared her for the bad parts, too (crying, tired mommy, poopie diapers, etc) so that she didn't expect things to be like in a diaper commercial. Even with all the preparation, she was still not okay with losing my attention completely. I believe she has the soul of an only child and sort of resented her sister for taking that away. Fast forward 2 years to second grade
In second grade, my oldest was diagnosed ADD, with her doctor eventually adding in the "H". At that same time, I was going through a terrible custody battle for the little one with my ex. He was making my life hell, using my younger daughter as leverage. There were several times where my oldest witnessed his cruelty to me. As much as I tried to keep this contained, he loved to put on a show in front of the girls, sometimes telling them that I was psycho or crazy. I think this was the beginning of her problems.
Now that we have had the ADHD in check for a couple of years, she has begun to show signs of more serious problems. I have caught her lying to me while looking me dead in the eyes, she is losing and gaining weight, (2 pounds either way) hair twirling during school and when she is asked to do things in front of a group, nail biting, and now she has begun to hyperventilate without control for periods of time, which leads to a cough and stomach ache. This is what she does;
She starts by sniffling uncontrolably. It's usually a sniffle every 3-5 seconds. Then she starts an open-mouthed gulp of air, which she doesn't completely exhale. She exhales just enough to take another gulp of air. When I MAKE her exhale completely, she coughs. We just recently got over a bout of this. It lasted all weekend. Today is Monday, and she is complaining of a stomache ache and sore throat from the coughing. She thinks she has brochitis again, which she had over a month ago.
The triggers for these spells is random. Sometimes it happens when she has to do things she doesn't want to do. (We've been fighting her being the center of attention for almost 4 years now) Like running errands, homeowork she doesn't want to finish, not getting to do what she wants to do at the mall, dealing with her sister's tantrums, etc. Sometimes its a pychosomatic thing, like the brochitis. She thinks she's sick, so she acts like it, or makes herself that way. She does see a counselor, but I'm not sure if it's a true therapist or not. The counselor was mainly started to help her with the ADHD.
Is there anything that I can do with her at home to help ease her anxiety about whatever it is that is triggering it? Are these actions even considered anxiety?
