Hi Ashley,

While I am not a doctor, I know very well that the mind is a strong instrument and it is very possible that you are thinking these things with enough conviction that while they are not necessarily true, you are beginning to believe they are. Kinda like the old saying that when the dogs bark outside, even though you know there is nothing out there to be concerned with, eventually they will bark long enough to make you go look anyway, just to be sure.

With the history of anxiety and other conditions in your family, I hope you are seeing a doctor for your own conditions. Online sites like Health Central are great resources for getting the information you need to be able to ask your doctor all the necessary questions to manage your health care, but they can not take the place of your doctor's solid medical advice.

Here is some information you might want to look over. You may know most of this already, but it helps to refresh your memory. It also helps to have a pen and paper handy in case you think of questions when going through the information.

First off, here is a great overview of what being diagnosed with Anxiety actually means, how it affects you and your body. you can check symptoms here in the symptoms checker. (as a side note, there is a site wide symptoms checker here if you think you might be experiencing other issues like your history with the breast cancer and brain tumor scares) If you have been diagnosed with Anxiety and the doctor has put you on medication, you can read about the various medications available here in the drugs database. You can also help develop a treatment plan and get information here about the current treatments available.

Secondly, you are not alone. There are many many many folks here who are walking the same road you are on. Anytime you are feeling blue and just need a little reality check, login and post a sharepost or a question. There are lots of folks who are happy to share their experiences with you on here. If you are having a really good day, that's great! Login and tell us about that as well! I am sure there are people here who would benefit from learning from your experiences as well. That is what community is all about.

I hope this information helps! Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing!

Vicki M

Ashley - Vicki really gave you a lot of great info to address your question and you seem to have a pretty good understanding of how your anxiety can affect you. I just want to add one other thought that might prove helpful. You stated that you had a similar experience with your Mom when you were a teen. If you think back to that time you may be able to learn something from that that helps you understand how to make sense out of what you are feeling toward your fiancee. If there was absolutely nothing negative going on between you and your mom at the time then the thought that you didn't love her may have just been the way that your anxiety was showing itself at the time. But, my guess is that you might have been frustrated or angry with your Mom over some ongoing issue that teenage girls and their Moms struggle with and you then felt that you didn't love her. If that's the case, you might want to think about what's been going on between you and your fiancee lately that might be frustrating or irritating. Either way, some counseling might be a good idea.

Rick Wirtz